Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!
Q: How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A: Trying to read a stucco wall.
Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A: Corduroy.
Q: Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A: She was bobbing for french fries.
Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.
Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They left the plunger in.
Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: she needs the other to moan with.
Q: How did she burn her fingers?
A: Reading the waffle iron
Q: What did she do when she fell down the well?
A: Screamed her fingers off
Q: How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A: She was wearing mittens
Q: Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A: So you can read her lips
Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A: You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.
Q: Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A: Wind it up and it walks into walls.
Q: What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A: Helen Keller moaning
Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.
Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
1. Rearranged the furniture
2. Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
3. Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
4. Washed her hands with soap
5. Gave her bird-seed to read.
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