He wants crews so I dont think licking one that comes out of your butthole will solve the problem. The real problem that needs to be addressed is that you shit crews out of your butthole get that checked out.
Check out an&, super quality stuff and their crew looks ill. They've done a lot of work perfecting the fit of their gear so it fits just how you want it to fit.
Check it out here:http://theandbrand.com/threads.html
THIS
Definitely check out The AN& Brand! The crew neck is super legit I have seen a bunch of them around and the quality is unreal. Also a better price-point compared to others out there.
i would look up duality clothing they got some sweet hoodies there kinda thin but there spring hoodies i usally wear a couple layers under it they got some sweet stuff