Where did I go wrong with this girl?
- Thread starter Theskiingguy
- Start date
i suck at girls and i know this is awful advice. I wish we lived in a world where you can ask a girl why she doesn't seem as interested in talking to you anymore without getting called a pedophile, but we don't.
Apart from that, you also aren't considering that maybe the girl never considered what she was doing to be flirting in the first place. I hate to say it op, but it's possible that, because you liked her, you mistook what was just her being friendly and normal as flirting. If you did, then trust me, you won't be the first or last guy to make that mistake. It's just too easy when you want things to go well with a girl and end up interpreting every little thing she does as a sign that she likes you.
As far as what to do now, pretty much what most people are saying. Cool off a little, give her space. Sucks, but has to be done. Don't ignore her completely, though. If you walk past her in the hall you shouldn't pretend she doesn't exist, that'll just look stupid. If you happen to run into her, be nice about it and say hi, but then keep going about your business. Don't try to stop and chat with her. Make it seem like you have things to do besides talk to her. But, like i said, i suck at girls, so what do i know?
Apart from that, you also aren't considering that maybe the girl never considered what she was doing to be flirting in the first place. I hate to say it op, but it's possible that, because you liked her, you mistook what was just her being friendly and normal as flirting. If you did, then trust me, you won't be the first or last guy to make that mistake. It's just too easy when you want things to go well with a girl and end up interpreting every little thing she does as a sign that she likes you.
As far as what to do now, pretty much what most people are saying. Cool off a little, give her space. Sucks, but has to be done. Don't ignore her completely, though. If you walk past her in the hall you shouldn't pretend she doesn't exist, that'll just look stupid. If you happen to run into her, be nice about it and say hi, but then keep going about your business. Don't try to stop and chat with her. Make it seem like you have things to do besides talk to her. But, like i said, i suck at girls, so what do i know?
.MASSHOLE.
Active member
At least she didnt tell you you have to work for it...
beermuscles
Active member
this applies through life. until your married of course. good luck with that.
Shit guys, this is why you all spend so much time on NS....
Casually stop her and ask her what's up.
You don't corner her and say, "Tell me why you don't love me, I'm pathetic and I need you!" And you sure as hell don't insult her or try to manipulate her. That's just fucked.
Nothing you do is going to make her like you. She does, or she doesn't. Usually when chicks get cold all of a sudden, something happened to promote that. Ask what it is. You could be surprised.
Case in point. I had a friend tell me that she saw a girl coming out of the guy I was dating's bedroom. She told me she kinda looked like me. I asked her when, and she told me the wrong time frame...
I got super upset and wouldn't talk to him for a few weeks. Turns out the girl she saw was me.
Another instance: was really into this guy. We had been talking a lot. We hung out a few times. A friend of me told me that she was really into him and that he brought her home after going out and that they made out. I quit talking to him. A month later I was tipsy and I call him out on it. And he then informs me I have it entirely wrong and that she was wasted and making a scene and when he dropped her off, she laid one on him. He even showed me the text messages back to the party he was at about how she was home safe and headed back with his friend.
We get shit wrong all the time. If you're a cool person, it isn't likely she just decided she wasn't into you... unless you're entirely telling the story wrong and this coldness has happened over months and now your just freaking her the fuck out.
Casually stop her and ask her what's up.
You don't corner her and say, "Tell me why you don't love me, I'm pathetic and I need you!" And you sure as hell don't insult her or try to manipulate her. That's just fucked.
Nothing you do is going to make her like you. She does, or she doesn't. Usually when chicks get cold all of a sudden, something happened to promote that. Ask what it is. You could be surprised.
Case in point. I had a friend tell me that she saw a girl coming out of the guy I was dating's bedroom. She told me she kinda looked like me. I asked her when, and she told me the wrong time frame...
I got super upset and wouldn't talk to him for a few weeks. Turns out the girl she saw was me.
Another instance: was really into this guy. We had been talking a lot. We hung out a few times. A friend of me told me that she was really into him and that he brought her home after going out and that they made out. I quit talking to him. A month later I was tipsy and I call him out on it. And he then informs me I have it entirely wrong and that she was wasted and making a scene and when he dropped her off, she laid one on him. He even showed me the text messages back to the party he was at about how she was home safe and headed back with his friend.
We get shit wrong all the time. If you're a cool person, it isn't likely she just decided she wasn't into you... unless you're entirely telling the story wrong and this coldness has happened over months and now your just freaking her the fuck out.
I'm sorry but what your saying is just not true, it's social dynamics you can make a girl like you by saying and doing certain things. but are you going to make every girl in the world like you no some will tell you to fuck off, but you can make it happen by talking to her correctly. Asking why she stop talking to you is a bad idea. mystery the god in the PUA world, your just being one of the woman in the video "that would never work on me" you'd be surprised
erikK
Active member
Alright, so you first state that the guy should definitely ask the girl what's wrong. I agree.
Next you tell the story of when you thought a guy cheated on you and you instantly ignored him for multiple weeks. So pretty much you WANT him to ask you what's wrong, but if he does, then you won't tell him since you're not talking to him for a few weeks?
And then it happens again. Are these guys trying to make contact with you while you ignore them for up to a month at a time? Maybe you should take the initiative to ask if they actually hooked up with another girl instead of just hearing some shit from your stupid fucking friends and then never talking to the guy again...
Either I'm not understanding your post or you're an extremely whack girl to get involved with.
Next you tell the story of when you thought a guy cheated on you and you instantly ignored him for multiple weeks. So pretty much you WANT him to ask you what's wrong, but if he does, then you won't tell him since you're not talking to him for a few weeks?
And then it happens again. Are these guys trying to make contact with you while you ignore them for up to a month at a time? Maybe you should take the initiative to ask if they actually hooked up with another girl instead of just hearing some shit from your stupid fucking friends and then never talking to the guy again...
Either I'm not understanding your post or you're an extremely whack girl to get involved with.
.AR6rider.
Active member
What the fuck...
HungryHypocrite
Member
the only thing you did wrong was to leave your fucking balls at home, buddy.
_____alfredo____
Active member
I could've used this thread like two years ago fuck
Theskiingguy
Member
Wow!!! Thank you guys so much for all the replies! I honestly did not expect this much great feedback 
+K to all of you guys who helped out!
Well, what happened is she had cheerleading till 7, but the scavenger hunt started at 6:30. So I said it was not a problem and I would get our group to swing by quickly and pick her up at 7. Sadly our car got full and so we didn't have room for her (we couldn't mexi pack, driver wasn't cool with it).
I told her the truth about the car getting full even though I was trying to save her a seat. She understood completely.
It was a week later that she hinted at hanging out again, so I came up with something to ask her to do the week later. That's when it all took a down turn.
+K to all of you guys who helped out!Well, what happened is she had cheerleading till 7, but the scavenger hunt started at 6:30. So I said it was not a problem and I would get our group to swing by quickly and pick her up at 7. Sadly our car got full and so we didn't have room for her (we couldn't mexi pack, driver wasn't cool with it).
I told her the truth about the car getting full even though I was trying to save her a seat. She understood completely.
It was a week later that she hinted at hanging out again, so I came up with something to ask her to do the week later. That's when it all took a down turn.
Theskiingguy
Member
I apologize guys in advance for these next like triple post by me...
I see what you're saying, and it could definitely be true. But I've talked with some other friends and people about it, and they said based on what they saw and heard she did like me. And the way she was talking with me and looking at me was much different from any other girl. It was much more engaging and very real happy vibes coming, like she was actually very happy to see me and vise versa. So I'm about 80% sure she actually did like me more than just a friend.
I see what you're saying, and it could definitely be true. But I've talked with some other friends and people about it, and they said based on what they saw and heard she did like me. And the way she was talking with me and looking at me was much different from any other girl. It was much more engaging and very real happy vibes coming, like she was actually very happy to see me and vise versa. So I'm about 80% sure she actually did like me more than just a friend.
Theskiingguy
Member
Yeah, alright I'll do this!
She's headed on vacation tomorrow and will be gone for a week and a half. So what I'm thinking of doing is not texting her or saying anything to her. Then wait a few days for when she gets back, and ask her in person how her trip was.
So I wouldn't of made any contact with her for a solid 2 weeks which might of made her a little bit curious as to why I haven't texted her. Then hopefully when I ask her about her trip in person she'll of opened back up. If I feel there's a bit of a spark back I'll straight up ask her to grab lunch with me the day later. If not, drop it again and maybe try a couple weeks later.
Think this sounds alright NSers?
She's headed on vacation tomorrow and will be gone for a week and a half. So what I'm thinking of doing is not texting her or saying anything to her. Then wait a few days for when she gets back, and ask her in person how her trip was.
So I wouldn't of made any contact with her for a solid 2 weeks which might of made her a little bit curious as to why I haven't texted her. Then hopefully when I ask her about her trip in person she'll of opened back up. If I feel there's a bit of a spark back I'll straight up ask her to grab lunch with me the day later. If not, drop it again and maybe try a couple weeks later.
Think this sounds alright NSers?
Its just such a fine line and every girl is a little different, I would say move on but that would be hypocritical because i've been hung up on a girl I broke up with for like a year haha but I can attest do not act desperate in any way and if you are going to call her out be very careful in how you do it. Being or even seeming desperate does not work.
spencer.liautaud
New member
Girls want what they can't have. Show no interest in her, make a few "dick" comments, not too harsh, but show her who is boss. Once she realizes that she cant have you, she will come running. Works every time.
YoungWookiee
Member
Same too me. If you try to hard they loose interest quick and then think youre annoying but they also most likely talking too like 3 or 4 other dudes and picking em off one by one. First you get friendzoned then they start to ingore you but they also lead you on too. Some girls man their cruel
.MASSHOLE.
Active member
Better than having them tell you to work hard and then ignore you when you dont, and then ignore you when you do.
Sorry for that terrible sentence but its 8 AM.
Sorry for that terrible sentence but its 8 AM.
Theskiingguy
Member
Allrigghttttt Newschoolers, I have a bigger problem now... apparently she has had boyfriend since last year actually. This guy graduated last year and I guess they're trying to have a long distance relationship (who actually tries to keep a long distance relationship going after high school?)
I did "heard" about this boyfriend, but the way it was brought up was when we were talking about prom. She said she had a lot of fun last year with her boyfriend at prom but the way she said it and treated it made it really sound like it was her ex... So yeah, make fun of me all you want for not confirming this first, but I thought I was certain (apparently not so).
Now I have a few new questions about the situation, and hopefully figure it out before I see her again.
A. Should I continue to pursue her or follow the bro code and hold off for a bit? Since it's a long distance relationship it probably won't last too long.
B. If they break up should I try to get a real serious date with her that same week. So instead of "break up sex" it's like "break up dating" as lame as that sounds haha.
C. Do you think she might of stopped the relationship between us because she didn't to turn me down, and her wanting me to wait for them to be broken up before I pursue?
D. Should I still continue the "breaking off contact plan" this week? (ie. not talk Monday/Tuesday, then Wednesday ask how her trip was and ask her if she wanted to grab lunch that very next day?)
Thanks Newschoolers, and any other advice or tricks to things would be very appreciated!
As always, +k
I did "heard" about this boyfriend, but the way it was brought up was when we were talking about prom. She said she had a lot of fun last year with her boyfriend at prom but the way she said it and treated it made it really sound like it was her ex... So yeah, make fun of me all you want for not confirming this first, but I thought I was certain (apparently not so).
Now I have a few new questions about the situation, and hopefully figure it out before I see her again.
A. Should I continue to pursue her or follow the bro code and hold off for a bit? Since it's a long distance relationship it probably won't last too long.
B. If they break up should I try to get a real serious date with her that same week. So instead of "break up sex" it's like "break up dating" as lame as that sounds haha.
C. Do you think she might of stopped the relationship between us because she didn't to turn me down, and her wanting me to wait for them to be broken up before I pursue?
D. Should I still continue the "breaking off contact plan" this week? (ie. not talk Monday/Tuesday, then Wednesday ask how her trip was and ask her if she wanted to grab lunch that very next day?)
Thanks Newschoolers, and any other advice or tricks to things would be very appreciated!
As always, +k
CosmicBrownie
Member
Girls with boyfriends are the worst... seems like any relatively attractive girl has one too...it sucks. It's really difficult to find one who doesn't especially when you get to college. I guess its to be expected though, any good looking girl is going to get a lot of attention
I was going to write out a long essay, but here's my view shortened. She probably did end up liking you and wanted to hook up at some point, but then after that feeling. Her boy friend texted her and said something like miss you babe, then she felt bad and blocked you out.
Every single one of your questions can't be answered, it all comes down to the girl. But if you want to hook up with her move in fast, and be the rebound after she breaks up it wont last, but you can usually can hit it and quit it.
As for a relationship, I don't know if I could ever date a girl who would leave someone for me. Whats to say she wont do it again, you can also get some girls to cheat in ldr it's not hard, but you need to learn something called AMOGING and out AMOG the BF, this is something that I do need to work on in my game. (and no i don't mean steal girls from their boyfriends. I mean if i go out and someone steps in on a girl i'm trying to get with, I can out amog them and she will leave the conversation and bar with me.) but this is not something i can teach you over text, and even if I could the first 20 times you try it you will mess it up, even if you did spend weeks with me, or someone else who knows how to do it, it wont always work. Time to move on stay friendly, maybe one day when she breaks up you can remember what I taught you and try again. Remember this stuff work on other girls there are always going to be more girls out there.
Every single one of your questions can't be answered, it all comes down to the girl. But if you want to hook up with her move in fast, and be the rebound after she breaks up it wont last, but you can usually can hit it and quit it.
As for a relationship, I don't know if I could ever date a girl who would leave someone for me. Whats to say she wont do it again, you can also get some girls to cheat in ldr it's not hard, but you need to learn something called AMOGING and out AMOG the BF, this is something that I do need to work on in my game. (and no i don't mean steal girls from their boyfriends. I mean if i go out and someone steps in on a girl i'm trying to get with, I can out amog them and she will leave the conversation and bar with me.) but this is not something i can teach you over text, and even if I could the first 20 times you try it you will mess it up, even if you did spend weeks with me, or someone else who knows how to do it, it wont always work. Time to move on stay friendly, maybe one day when she breaks up you can remember what I taught you and try again. Remember this stuff work on other girls there are always going to be more girls out there.
maximiliaan
Active member
you have been waiting TOO DAMN LONG
town_nudist
Member
Charlie_Kelly
Active member
Link?
Jane6
Active member
Hmm nah I have just stopped being interested in people without any specific reason really, just grew tired of it. Attention is always nice so getting it from a new guy is always be exciting, but after some time (hours, days, months) and there isnt a real spark I just get bored and/or creeped out by a dude who keeps being nice. Inb4 woman logic.
RusselCrowe
Member
ive kinda said that without the pic so nice try....
icon1234
Active member
There is no set time frame, or course of action you need to take in order "to get the girl". Like whoever said "if you don't make a move first day of class its over?"... Obviously almost everything in life in a time sensitive matter, but there are no "rules" or deadlines for this shit. Every girl and every situation is different. I dated girl within a few days of meeting her, and I have also dated my best friend after knowing her for 2 years.
Don't try to play girls/relationships like a game of chess, aka trying to strategically plan your every move. It will always come off as forced and unnatural because you are doing things that are either not apart of your personality, or just trying to force things when the circumstances/timing aren't right. Also when things don't go as planned, then you get upset and then you just come off as annoying and unattractive making things worse.
In the future, just be yourself, and if you find a girl to be pretty chill and things feel right then get her number and ask her out shortly after. Don't set expectations, don't try and plan far ahead, just do what feels natural... Just don't be afraid to take that leap to make your intentions clear to the girl, putting yourself out there isn't necessarily going to be a comfortable/natural thing to do at first so don't wait too long hoping things will magically 'feel right'.
Don't try to play girls/relationships like a game of chess, aka trying to strategically plan your every move. It will always come off as forced and unnatural because you are doing things that are either not apart of your personality, or just trying to force things when the circumstances/timing aren't right. Also when things don't go as planned, then you get upset and then you just come off as annoying and unattractive making things worse.
In the future, just be yourself, and if you find a girl to be pretty chill and things feel right then get her number and ask her out shortly after. Don't set expectations, don't try and plan far ahead, just do what feels natural... Just don't be afraid to take that leap to make your intentions clear to the girl, putting yourself out there isn't necessarily going to be a comfortable/natural thing to do at first so don't wait too long hoping things will magically 'feel right'.
Kinda in the same boat. Met this chick a few months ago. Tried to take it some wear. Here I am five months later in a strange boat.
Basically at the beginning back in April we were hanging out here and there and she seemed intersted(I suck at girl stuff so could have totally miss read.). Now I think I'm in the friend zone mad hard. She says she is stoked on how good of friends we are.
She lives in a different state but is moving back to in the winter. How do I continue? I think she is real nice and chill and don't want to give up. Any ideas?
My plan was to just be nice, keep on contact and ask her out when she returns.
Bad Idea? Should I just give up? If you need more details let me know.
Basically at the beginning back in April we were hanging out here and there and she seemed intersted(I suck at girl stuff so could have totally miss read.). Now I think I'm in the friend zone mad hard. She says she is stoked on how good of friends we are.
She lives in a different state but is moving back to in the winter. How do I continue? I think she is real nice and chill and don't want to give up. Any ideas?
My plan was to just be nice, keep on contact and ask her out when she returns.
Bad Idea? Should I just give up? If you need more details let me know.
icon1234
Active member
Nothing wrong with asking a girl out... And just because you are friends with a girl does not mean you are in the friend zone. The majority of relationships start out as friends (at least mine did), so just because you are good friends with a girl doesn't mean a thing.
But if I were you I would definitely not wait for this girl, that sounds like a horrible idea and its gonna be super forced if you wait all these months and when she comes back into town you immediately try and force something. Just do you for the mean time and if she gets back into town just ask her to hangout and go from there. Just don't pull all your eggs one basket.
But if I were you I would definitely not wait for this girl, that sounds like a horrible idea and its gonna be super forced if you wait all these months and when she comes back into town you immediately try and force something. Just do you for the mean time and if she gets back into town just ask her to hangout and go from there. Just don't pull all your eggs one basket.
Dr.Dickless
Active member
This thread is like a portrait of my life junior year of high school, it ended up not working out for me but the best of luck to you
some times its just not gonna work out and sometimes it will, good luck
some times its just not gonna work out and sometimes it will, good luck
earl.squirrelson
Member
yep exactly right unfortunately, once you got the girl things can still become a bit boring and part of a routine, but thats after you get the girl... honestly the only chance you have, is if you stop talking etc etc... then in a couple months and once you start talking you'll be that "new guy" again and she may be interested
earl.squirrelson
Member
plus, just go looking elsewhere for other viable options, you may find better, and even if you don't she may become interested in you again.
Theskiingguy
Member
Awhh dang, was looking forward to that essay 
Hahah
I will try to be the rebound I guess. I'll try to "make her feel better" by taking her out that weekend and hopefully get further dates after that.
I think my plan of action will be continue this ignore thing like the original plan. I don't think I will ask her to grab lunch or anything like I was thinking before, but I will try and reconnect just being friendly and see how she seems.
Would you mind explaining the AMOGING thing though? Just like a brief description of how that works/what it is? Never heard it before.
Thanks
HahahI will try to be the rebound I guess. I'll try to "make her feel better" by taking her out that weekend and hopefully get further dates after that.
I think my plan of action will be continue this ignore thing like the original plan. I don't think I will ask her to grab lunch or anything like I was thinking before, but I will try and reconnect just being friendly and see how she seems.
Would you mind explaining the AMOGING thing though? Just like a brief description of how that works/what it is? Never heard it before.
Thanks
icon1234
Active member
Nothing wrong with saying whats up once in a awhile. Just do what feels right, don't plan for it, if you want to text her and see how she is doing then go for it. Just everything in moderation, if you feel the need to text her all the time then I would take a step back.
Only problem with texting her is that it may make you less inclined to pursue other individuals who are actually near you. Really don't even try and think about asking this girl out when she gets home, even keeping it on the back of your mind could prevent you from finding someone else who you could really like right now.
Only problem with texting her is that it may make you less inclined to pursue other individuals who are actually near you. Really don't even try and think about asking this girl out when she gets home, even keeping it on the back of your mind could prevent you from finding someone else who you could really like right now.
Theskiingguy
Member
Allrigghttttt Newschoolers, I have a bigger problem now... apparently she has had boyfriend since last year actually. This guy graduated last year and I guess they're trying to have a long distance relationship (who actually tries to keep a long distance relationship going after high school?)
I did "heard" about this boyfriend, but the way it was brought up was when we were talking about prom. She said she had a lot of fun last year with her boyfriend at prom but the way she said it and treated it made it really sound like it was her ex... So yeah, make fun of me all you want for not confirming this first, but I thought I was certain (apparently not so).
Now I have a few new questions about the situation, and hopefully figure it out before I see her again.
A. Should I continue to pursue her or follow the bro code and hold off for a bit? Since it's a long distance relationship it probably won't last too long.
B. If they break up should I try to get a real serious date with her that same week. So instead of "break up sex" it's like "break up dating" as lame as that sounds haha.
C. Do you think she might of stopped the relationship between us because she didn't to turn me down, and her wanting me to wait for them to be broken up before I pursue?
D. Should I still continue the "breaking off contact plan" this week? (ie. not talk Monday/Tuesday, then Wednesday ask how her trip was and ask her if she wanted to grab lunch that very next day?)
Thanks Newschoolers, and any other advice or tricks to things would be very appreciated!
As always, +k
Hopefully this will be seen a bit more now that we're on the top of the 3rd page since like no one saw it on the 2nd page haha
I did "heard" about this boyfriend, but the way it was brought up was when we were talking about prom. She said she had a lot of fun last year with her boyfriend at prom but the way she said it and treated it made it really sound like it was her ex... So yeah, make fun of me all you want for not confirming this first, but I thought I was certain (apparently not so).
Now I have a few new questions about the situation, and hopefully figure it out before I see her again.
A. Should I continue to pursue her or follow the bro code and hold off for a bit? Since it's a long distance relationship it probably won't last too long.
B. If they break up should I try to get a real serious date with her that same week. So instead of "break up sex" it's like "break up dating" as lame as that sounds haha.
C. Do you think she might of stopped the relationship between us because she didn't to turn me down, and her wanting me to wait for them to be broken up before I pursue?
D. Should I still continue the "breaking off contact plan" this week? (ie. not talk Monday/Tuesday, then Wednesday ask how her trip was and ask her if she wanted to grab lunch that very next day?)
Thanks Newschoolers, and any other advice or tricks to things would be very appreciated!
As always, +k
Hopefully this will be seen a bit more now that we're on the top of the 3rd page since like no one saw it on the 2nd page haha
icon1234
Active member
Dude you're trying too hard... There is no A,B,C, or D answer here, this is another human being not a multiple choice exam.
Just leave her alone dude... Like literally at this point any interaction with her isn't going to do you any good, her relationship is going to fall apart, just leave her alone and try and find someone else. Then if she is single just ask her to hangout, or hopefully she just comes back to you.
You will be so surprised, the moment you stop wanting someone, that is the moment they actually start wanting you. Just stop giving her all this attention, and make her want you.
Just leave her alone dude... Like literally at this point any interaction with her isn't going to do you any good, her relationship is going to fall apart, just leave her alone and try and find someone else. Then if she is single just ask her to hangout, or hopefully she just comes back to you.
You will be so surprised, the moment you stop wanting someone, that is the moment they actually start wanting you. Just stop giving her all this attention, and make her want you.
Theskiingguy
Member
Yeah I agree with what you're saying. At the same time I have the feeling that it's high school, we're not going to continue a relationship out of it so it's not a huge deal. I would rather have a little "forced" relationship with a pretty girl hanging out with each other, than spending a bunch of weekend nights doing nothing at home.
I will try though to be a more natural with her when I see her again. Just wing it and have fun with whatever happens, if it works out, great, if not, whatevs.
And do your post just now, I'll stop any pursuit of her now. Let her do her own thing for a while and see what she thinks of me later if the break up. Maybe continue a friendly conversation here and there just to keep a slight friendship, but I'll drop any type of affection for her I might be showing.
Thanks
I will try though to be a more natural with her when I see her again. Just wing it and have fun with whatever happens, if it works out, great, if not, whatevs.
And do your post just now, I'll stop any pursuit of her now. Let her do her own thing for a while and see what she thinks of me later if the break up. Maybe continue a friendly conversation here and there just to keep a slight friendship, but I'll drop any type of affection for her I might be showing.
Thanks