What's your best pickup line?

I dont speak..Just allow them to flock, then chose the one I want.
After that I usually take her back to my room, throat fuck the shit outta them..After Im done shoving my dick down her throat I ask her where she lives. After she tells me I procede to tell her Im getting mcdonalds breakfast, drop her off, then actually get mcdonalds breakfast. Then sleep in my bed alone. Glorious.
 
fuck me if im wrong.... but do i know you?

or

are you a speeding ticket... cause you got fine written all over you
 
i wait until we look each other in the eyes for a few seconds and say "whoa, let me get a map before i get lost in your eyes".

it usually at least gets a little laugh. ice broken
 
ok so i chilled with this girl once and really didnt give a fuck bout her just wanted to fuck...
i hit her up and said steak blunt blowjob? i got everything but the steak, so id say i made out pretty well.
 
There was a guy at my school who would start pretty much any conversation with "Listen, darling, I've got a nine inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears."
If he was feeling fancy he'd break out the old "Wanna go see what's in the other room? I bet it's my dick."
He was not a popular man.
 
I dont need pickup lines. Just the promise she can wear my team dryfit or summer team mesh shorts for the walk of shame is all i need.
 
hey, wanna go to my place and do some lines, if she agrees have her do the second one off your dick, and tell her she has to take the numbie
 
my buddy asked this Brazilian exchange student how much a polar bear weighs and she replied.." I dont knoww... ten?"

long story short.. he got to play with her boobs that night
 
"Hey"

Then i show her my penis

Then i say "start sucking or this gun in my other hand will shoot your head"

Works every time
 
Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.and

I'm sorry I was so rude before but it's difficult for me to express myself when I am on the verge of exploding in my pants.
 
her: why are you smiling at me like that you creep?me: cause im picturing shoving a popsicle up your butt and drinking it as it melts out

her:in the mens room or the ladies?
 
but see the gun is actually a squirt gun so when she gets done sucking me i shoot her. twice. (get it?)

then she will get mad i shot her with not only the gun and prolly call the cops, in which case i keep my mask on and run
 
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