What We Learn From Porn...

Roussel

Member
What We Learn From Porn...

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

24. Women never have headaches.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

26. Assholes are clean. (hey now, if you wash em...)

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

(I didnt write this)

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SkiboardMagazine.com
 
hahahahaha number 11 is great.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Teddy

WWTJSD?
 
its kind of sad cuz its slightly true. a lot of younger boys i know think the majority of all ^^ is reality. its crazy to realize how far the media can actually have an effect on some poor poor boys.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours?

life is too short so love the one you got cause you might get run over or you might get shot - sublime

save lives. ride line.

I smell burnt toast!!!

 
women are noisy fucks

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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

hoodratz47: sweet your now black....
 
AWESOME

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S3p Represent

PBP Junkie

TMC For life

www.tmcmogul.com

five0 is a crazy sexy nutcracker motherfucker.'
 
hahahhahahah bailey i was about to praise that one as well, fucking hilarious.... like funniest thing ever

asian men dont' exist oh god thats funny

___________________

B
 
there was a daily show interviewing the asian guy from teh original star trek about asian men in porn, as ussual it was hilarious.

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

i love watching people get nutted. i hate seeing naked fat people getting the box munched - BallinBU

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Basically, you have to fly planes into buildings before anyone listens to you these days. - Jib_This
 
and remember, you're real life girlfriend is going to look like that.

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I've been here longer than 79% of you.

Jesus Saves Souls
 
number 23 is great

. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

JIBARITO

(its actually a restaurant in Peurto Rico)

Guitaring for life

 
i can't tell, is that sarastic?

felt like a big man pushing that kid around!

shes talking to her invisible friend, God

Don't be an asshole JD. If you dont like it you dont have to read it. J.D.May
 
not to sound crude, or like irishdrink.....

but after all of that time watching porn, its amazing how many guys dont know about the clit, learn it, use it, love.

Dont forget your snorkle ~ Bridger Bowl
 
that was soooooo funny

Merse you sexy potatoe you better be doing some thing fucking crazy up there, see yea soon br-ah

Too many Rookies not enough PROS !!!

807 Army 4life
 
^your too young to watch porn

anybody ever heard the guitar solo in taboo two?

i was going to go for a quad daffy but i was like, why huck? -mommy
 
haha, 70s porn

_________________

-Mike

Pabst Blue Ribbon is the greatest beer ever.

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!

Chapelle's Show Cult, Bitches
 
Hahaha 28 is great...they're always like all wide eyed

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte'?- Mr. Mugatu
 
25 is my favorite. suck it

which reminds me of late nineties wrestling, suck it with the pelvic gesturing

-Lauren

Lauren and Ella: together changing teenaged boys lives since 2001.

THE FIST OF FURY

Fistin' Mad Bitches!

Skiing's not a sport, it's a lifestyle.
 
HAHAAHA... one of the funniest thing on this site

Lately it occurs to me... what a long strange trip its been....
 
8.Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

To true!:P ;)

»-(¯`v´¯)-»PëT®ø HoTt�ë«-(¯`v´¯)-«
 
we should add some more of our own for example:

1. cheezy jazz music+ c-grade porn= an A+ porn movie

2. all women like it wherever u stick it

3. it's possible to have sex with 12 other people at the same time by yourself

_____________

High North Session 2, 2004 message me if u goin also

NS Philosopher
 
heres some more:

1) Hot girls + middle aged small men w/ small penises = multimillion dollar website

2) fisting + ugly whore = horribly wrong.

most internet porn is terrible. videos are where its at.

Phree Stylez
 
Baaaahahaahah Asian men don't exist... I remember a segment with George Takei about why he never did porn...fucking hilarious. 'But why haven't we seen you in movies like... Big Booty Whores 4? Do you feel you were discriminated against?'

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In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
We also learn that girls begin to orgasm as soon as you touch her genitals, this includes the breasts. Also, barely using your tongue when you eat a girl out works well.

It's sad to think that some kids see this and think it is reality..poor kids.

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth

What's with all the hate?

 
haha, wild guitar solo, definitely

-at least you went down naked-

no i figured it out when he over shot the bowl and shit on the back of the toilet. then he signed my beanie.-Hoodratz47 in response to being in the same public bathroom with mike wilson
 
odd, lateralis has not spoken yet...

- LM Productions -

CCRider

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice got stuck in my nose

u kno im ghetto
 
number 69: the only ATTRACTIVE lesbians are being paid for it...ive never seen a hot lesbian in real life, just butch women in public holding hands

Hibachi King drops 9/9/04...and it shouldnt suck! hah

 
only in the porn industry could Ron Jeremy have sex with soo many women.... god bless the american adult film industry!

check out Stept...

'I can throw a twister that could make Tanner bust a nut!'

---------The Cult of the Neon One Piece Jumpsuit---------

*NORTHEAST CULT*
 
I think #9 is true, If I was a cop, it would be true.

----------------------------------------------------

'Don't let academics interfere your education' (My coach)

'I'm in his nigger crew' (my little brother in response to my statement that he was in my 'digger crew')

'My knee hurts' (Jeff Merat after grinding a lunch table for an hour instead of sitting in the ski patrol shack for his torm mcl and acl which he got earlier that day.)

'I'm not asking for any help, just mabe for you to get off your ass.'(my dad)
 
wait, so sex for you people isant like that?

****

//KAW RAW//

//DEFY SKEEZ//

Im a drinker with skiing problems
 
h30, I know some really hot Bi girls. So, temp lesbians. Does that count?

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
^dont underestimate it.

porn is GREAT

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Pain heals...Chicks dig scars...Glory lasts forever
 
i love porn but ive always wondered about the lesbians, and the wearing high heels to bed thing, my gf takes of her shoes so i guess were doin it wrong

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me gusta cabeza
 
nuber 100032434... poop porn is cool.. like tubgirl

/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
 
i've seen a couple flicks where the girl leaves her baseball hat on. what's up with that?

-Strode

Abba Zabba, you my only friend
 
#29-midget porn's only purpose is for non-midgets to laugh

*********************************************************

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: [pointing his gun] Say 'what' again. SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say 'what' one more goddamn time! Brett: He's b-b-black... Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald... Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: NO! Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: I didn't! Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

BFSC WE DO IT FROGGY STYLE

 
HAAA HAA sooo ture... why does midget porn cost so much any way

/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
 
migets must be expencive to buy.

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*

theres an ilovemen.com? damn. see you guys later -skierdudeguy
 
midget porn costs more cuz they just measure up to the standards

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
i had no clue it cost more....i guess comedies are valued more than a good beat off flick

*********************************************************

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: [pointing his gun] Say 'what' again. SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say 'what' one more goddamn time! Brett: He's b-b-black... Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald... Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: NO! Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: I didn't! Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

BFSC WE DO IT FROGGY STYLE

 
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