What should i put on my voicemail?

say 'hello?' than wait for like ten seconds.

or say 'hello', 'whats goin on man, what you doin tonight', 'cool, cool, i dunno what im doing', 'im just kidding, this is my voicemail'

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The only way to prevent rape is to say yes.

'. . . thou shalt eat the herb of the field ' (Genesis 3:18)

'. . . eat every herb of the land ' (Exodus 10:12)

'Better is a dinner of herb where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith' (Proverbs 15:17)

“He Causeth the Grass to Grow for the Cattle, and Herb for the Service of Man” (Psalm 104:14)

 
yeah, i was thinkin about that, derek. but its all played out, and like 5 of my friends have that, and it pisses me off when i call em. i'll prolly get pissed off at myself if i did that, cuz i have to listen to it when i get my voicemails :)

°SamDCaylor°

www.poniverus.com
 
in a german accent say 'hello, u have reached turkish mail order groom service. I am Akkmead if u want man slave ull have to call me later at a decent time u ignorant fock!' then pause and start screaming jibberish in the phone.

 
^genious

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

are u a boy or a girl?

oh sorry i didnt mean it offensively.......i just couldnt tell cuz u made these posts about jon or whatever

-MARIAH
 
Sing what Cartmen sings in the epsiode when they do cheif aid. It the german song the sings to try to get money.

'My arm hurts, I think I had a Stroke'

-Some girl in my school

'At least my boy friend didnt finger my ass hole with strawberry shampoo'

- Words siad durring a Bitch fight

'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'

- Homer Simpson

'Is it makeing love when 5 migets spank a man covered in Thosand Island dressing'

-Tolken
 
what i did awhile back was called 1800hotsexy and timed it right so my voicemail saved what the woman said. it was pretty funny.

o yea. and thers some sites out there that you can download voicemail messages.search um

_________________________________________________________________________________ The above comment is the views and opinions of I, Craige Diaz and I hereby accept no responibility for them.

NewSchoolSnow
 
call 1800HOTSEXY, u no those number letter thigns. and i put what the machine says onto my viocemail.

and ther is some websites that have mp3 files that you can play and put your fone by it so that they are your voicemail.

i dint think it was that hard.

_________________________________________________________________________________ The above comment is the views and opinions of I, Craige Diaz and I hereby accept no responibility for them.

NewSchoolSnow
 
mine is..'Hi, Im not here right now, leave a message after the beep....FUCK'

********* ********* *********

LAND SHARK!!! EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEEE
 
Use the intro to that Sublime song, I forget the name,

'Hello?'

'Hey It's me'

'I thought I told you not to call me anymore Dave'

'I know...I just wanted to talk to you.'

'Get a clue Dave, there is nothing to talk about.'

We'll have you dead pretty soon.
 
you should put ' i am sam, sam i am, i will not eat green eggs and ham ' ....something like that...because you are sam ...so it all works out. yep.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up

So now I have to chop you up, chop you up

And I'll just wait till I get caught...

 
there is some funny arnold shwarzenegger shit you can download

___________________

Arguing on the net is like the special olympics, if you win, you're still retarted.
 
my all time fav. is when you say a same ol' message.....ex: 'Hey this (blah blah), I'll call you back ' and then make your own beep.........hahaha it's pretty funny because everyone always messes up their messages that they left

 
forward the calls to a porno line. on my phone its the weather number. its funny. people call me, and get the weather

if people dont like what ive created, fuck em, because somebody else does-TANNER

can you see what's down there? me either.-seth peering down a cliff before he drops it

ns army, whatever is right below the general

 
be like

'hey you reached sam master flash, gimmie my cash, honkey roaster, pop-tart toaster, drink on the coaster caylor. drop me a line but only if you fine, another word for pig is swine, i'm hungry so im gonna go dine, and buy skis made by line. leave a message gangsta'

if talking about your own poop is wrong, i don't want to be right.

alpentalik
 
i have a thing with arnold schwarzniggeers voice. its like- hi, youve reached arnolds pizza if you like pinapple i will kill you if you like broccoli, what the hell is brocoli anyways. if you like pepporoni and 9mm bullets you have come to the right place.

--
 
hi, this is sams tv speaking right now, sam is currently in the washroom pinching a loaf, thanks

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
hey its sam, u kno the drill

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
 
apparantly jf cusson's say 'i am a cripple' in french

________

I always thought Bush steeze was when you go huge, then drop bombs on everyone watching you.

--west
 
ever heard the alien ear sex thing? its an answering machine message thats funny and by the end thhe alien says hes having sex with your ear.

-----------------------------------------------

'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!'
 
have a cartman quote!

Crystal-needs-a-park='i A RETAREd'

Sam Caylor='I'm the fat kid that gets made fun of at school'

BannerTall='Where did you get this guy(spokaneskier)'

Powderdayz= 'He seemed cool but he freaked!'

 
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