What do you think of my "documentary?"

*Fujative*

*Fujative*

Active member
For my final for my FCP class I had a free choice project, so I decided to make a documentary film. Some of the shots are shaky because at times we had up to 40mph winds, and wind and carbon fiber tripods don't work well together... The girl that narrates it talked a bit fast and she missed pronounced a few words. However I'm looking to make this longer and interview people. What do you guys think?
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i liked it, cool topicif anything was to be changed i would maybe take out a few shots and give the other shots more time, some of them seemed a little rushedthe only other thing i saw that i think could use improvement would be the transition from the train station to the packard plantother than than good work
 
Your shots and editing are well done.

It just ends up feeling unbelievably amateur with the girls voice. She sounds like a 10th grade mall rat. If you had someone with proper understanding of speaking in an understandable tone and rhythm, it would have been much more effective.
 
The narration is terrible, I literally couldn't even force myself to listen after 30s.

Maybe having a gap in narration at some point and letting the dramatic music play while you show some footage would have "gotten to the viewer" a bit more. I didn't watch the whole thing, so if you did do that, good stuff. Footage is great!
 
Thanks everyone. I know what you mean, I thought she would be good, would didnt fit. I'm going to redo to audio with a different person. Good call on having a gap.
 
Yeah, one thing that really bothered me was the mix of narration and music.

I had to turn the sound off when the music got really cinematic and the girl announced the train station or whatever it was.
 
the narration really kills it. just hearing her say disaster zone... ugh

good idea to revoice it with someone else
 
that was very cool

well done.

the narration wasnt absolutely horrible, but you said you were going to find someone else, couldnt hurt

and i liked the music in the background
 
ye wow get someone else to narrate it. the shots were all great but its really an over abused topic. its been done way too many times. the shots are origional so that keeps it a bit interesting but hte girls voice gah!
 
That was cool man but like most people have said, change the narrator. If you had someone who sounded like they actually cared and knew about the topic and maybe spoke a bit slower with a few more gaps it would work better. But props anyway man, it was sweet.
 
meh...
looked like a bunch of pictures just thrown together on the timeline. Way to static., I think that it jumps right into the video to soon perhaps some more developing shots before the narration just spills in or build it up doesn't really have a beginning middle or an end it just kind of goes. Also a interview would help it out a ton. That way you can change the shots up a bit.
 
I needed this turned in by last week. I'm going to work on it as a side project. I want to get an interview of a homeless guy, however even with money, they wont do it. So now its back to a work in progress.
 
very nice, but i would mix up your shots a bit. The last one was the only shot with any motion. Try some pans, zooms, dollying. Throw some people in, show someone walking down a shitty street. Interview would be good to mix it up too

The narrations were beautiful, she really has a way with words.
 
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