What do yall do to cope with being dumped?
- Thread starter tutipups
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GayWolf420
Active member
It gets better each day on-an-on until you reach a moment of "yeah I didn't really like your dog-ass anyways either" my guy. You'll be fine. Life is too short to worry about girls for the streets.
partyandBS
Active member
Theres a shit ton of things on the interwebs about sleep hygiene. One thing ive heard is that if you cannot sleep due to ruminating thoughts, get the fuck up and out of bed. Your mind and body need to associate your bed with sleep and not as an area to think or disassociate on your phone. Theres a ton more and much better info online.
also, you can’t escape your feelings. You can’t drink them away. You can’t smoke them away. Trust me I’ve fuckin tried. They will amplify if you try that. Instead, try the RAIN method (also better explained on youtube lol) recognize your emotions, allow them to exist as they are very real and very valid. Investigate and see where its coming from and then nurture yourself. One way to nurture is to act as if you weren’t in the situation but someone you were close with was. What would you tell a close friend going through a similar situation to comfort and validate them.
also, you can’t escape your feelings. You can’t drink them away. You can’t smoke them away. Trust me I’ve fuckin tried. They will amplify if you try that. Instead, try the RAIN method (also better explained on youtube lol) recognize your emotions, allow them to exist as they are very real and very valid. Investigate and see where its coming from and then nurture yourself. One way to nurture is to act as if you weren’t in the situation but someone you were close with was. What would you tell a close friend going through a similar situation to comfort and validate them.
partyandBS
Active member
14543382:tutipups said:
Dang homie. Thats not healthy. Write some shit out. You gotta process. Probably worth writing whats bothering you and then put them in columns of things you can control and what you have no control over.
ya boys fucked in the head from a year of death, divorce, drinking, broken bones, and isolation lol. I have had 10 hours of therapy a week since march so i got therapy tools for fuckin days. They have literally turned my life around. also I’ll listen to anyone ones struggle. Especially a ski homie. DM me if ya think i could help!!
GayWolf420
Active member
14543380:tutipups said:
You have to take care of yourself dude. I don't know your personal situation just based-off of some internet posts but you just need some time for yourself to figure it out, and you need to let her figure it out too. Go outside, go have fun, get wrecked with your friends, etc., and just enjoy life for a moment.
GrapeHunter
Active member
Tuti, if you have a father figure in your life, talk to him. He may have gone through what you are experiencing and may be able to give you sage wisdom and advice, allowing you to overcome your burdensome thoughts and emotions
As someone who recently got dropped, and then found out after the fact that this person was, for all intents and purposes cheating, it blows. This was one of my closest friends for 5 years before we even started dating so it fucked me up pretty good.
When it comes to coping
What has helped in the month and a half since.
-Cutting off the person/your access to the person. Idk your situation specifically but checking their insta or seeing their snap stories everyday is gonna drive you nuts.
-Socialize as much as you can. Get involved in a new club or something. Hang out with friends. Gotta convince yourself that there's plenty of other great shit out there.
-Do all the necessary stuff. This is difficult but go exercise, eat good food, take care of yourself, perform well at work etc. This is one of the hardest things cuz your brain is just going to be screaming at you to lay around and be a lazy turd but that will 100% make things worse.
-This is related to the above but, have a shit day or two. As long as your not killing yourself with substances give yourself a day to get super drunk or high or play a bunch of video games and eat some shit food. Wake up hungover, realize it didn't help and you want to be better.Get it out of your system and then move on.
Do you have any goals? Whether or not it's healthy I find that I'm a pretty spite driven person. In a shitty situation when your feeling nostalgic or you get the sads, turn that into anger and then point that anger or spite at something productive. Not sure if it's the healthiest thing ever, but it's worked alright for me. Your mileage may vary.
It ain't easy but at the end of the day life is long and the shitty stuff is just context and character building for the rest of your life.
**This post was edited on Jul 7th 2023 at 11:42:00am
When it comes to coping
What has helped in the month and a half since.
-Cutting off the person/your access to the person. Idk your situation specifically but checking their insta or seeing their snap stories everyday is gonna drive you nuts.
-Socialize as much as you can. Get involved in a new club or something. Hang out with friends. Gotta convince yourself that there's plenty of other great shit out there.
-Do all the necessary stuff. This is difficult but go exercise, eat good food, take care of yourself, perform well at work etc. This is one of the hardest things cuz your brain is just going to be screaming at you to lay around and be a lazy turd but that will 100% make things worse.
-This is related to the above but, have a shit day or two. As long as your not killing yourself with substances give yourself a day to get super drunk or high or play a bunch of video games and eat some shit food. Wake up hungover, realize it didn't help and you want to be better.Get it out of your system and then move on.
Do you have any goals? Whether or not it's healthy I find that I'm a pretty spite driven person. In a shitty situation when your feeling nostalgic or you get the sads, turn that into anger and then point that anger or spite at something productive. Not sure if it's the healthiest thing ever, but it's worked alright for me. Your mileage may vary.
It ain't easy but at the end of the day life is long and the shitty stuff is just context and character building for the rest of your life.
**This post was edited on Jul 7th 2023 at 11:42:00am
GrapeHunter
Active member
14543456:Mingg said:
and for anal
Butterytips69
Member
weastcoat
Active member
I’ve never had a girlfriend but I kinda know how you feel. I’ve dealt with some hellish depressive issues in the past 3 years (sometimes pertaining to this kinda stuff) and this is what’s helped me. This is gonna be long, as usual for my replies to shit lol
as for sleep, go walk around your neighborhood or go on a drive or something if you’re struggling to fall asleep. For me it just kinda resets my brain. Also taking something like nyquil or benadryl will probably do you some wonders.
eat good and healthy. But don’t be afraid to treat yourself if that makes sense. If I’m having a shitty day sometimes I’ll just go get some takeout from my favorite restaurant or some shit.
Exercise alone has never really helped me, but when it’s combined with something I can really get my head into, it helps a ton. (Like skiing). Maybe trying to become a gym rat will help you, but it’s never helped me. I gotta be doing something fun.
Literally force yourself to go socialize with friends and acquaintances. And just be super social in general, whether that be at work, school, or bullshitting for 10 mins with your neighbor when you see em outside. I totally agree with what others said above about going out and making new friends and that whole thing. Helps widen your perspective of people out there for ya.
go connect with nature a little bit, this is probably my most important one. Take a hike In the woods, go to a hill or mountain with a cool view, go for a cruise at sunset, take a walk in the rain. Seeing cool and beautiful things definitely does it for me, reminds me that there’s so much more to life than just people and the problems that come with it.
you can try all this, and keep in your mind at all times that there’s so many more (better) people out there and easily accessible, and you’ll be chilling.
as for sleep, go walk around your neighborhood or go on a drive or something if you’re struggling to fall asleep. For me it just kinda resets my brain. Also taking something like nyquil or benadryl will probably do you some wonders.
eat good and healthy. But don’t be afraid to treat yourself if that makes sense. If I’m having a shitty day sometimes I’ll just go get some takeout from my favorite restaurant or some shit.
Exercise alone has never really helped me, but when it’s combined with something I can really get my head into, it helps a ton. (Like skiing). Maybe trying to become a gym rat will help you, but it’s never helped me. I gotta be doing something fun.
Literally force yourself to go socialize with friends and acquaintances. And just be super social in general, whether that be at work, school, or bullshitting for 10 mins with your neighbor when you see em outside. I totally agree with what others said above about going out and making new friends and that whole thing. Helps widen your perspective of people out there for ya.
go connect with nature a little bit, this is probably my most important one. Take a hike In the woods, go to a hill or mountain with a cool view, go for a cruise at sunset, take a walk in the rain. Seeing cool and beautiful things definitely does it for me, reminds me that there’s so much more to life than just people and the problems that come with it.
you can try all this, and keep in your mind at all times that there’s so many more (better) people out there and easily accessible, and you’ll be chilling.
Granby_killdozer
Active member
Nothing helps you get over a breakup like banging a different chick. If you don't have any other girls to bang then hit the gym and get a dog. Bitches love muscles and dogs. Also dogs are just cool in general so if a woman won't love you at least your dog will. As for sleep, chug some nyquil or take melatonin.
14543494:Granby_killdozer said:
Can confirm about the gym/dog but I gotta disagree about the banging another girl. Could help for different folks, ig if you're an incel or sumthin, but sex is easy to get. Companionship is not. Not having companionship is the depressing part. Can fuck more people and still feel empty, and then you gotta take on all the baggage that comes along with those other chicks you're banging too.
14543480:weastcoat said:
i dont know who got you thinking long replies are wrong but that persons opinion is just wrong.
Anyways yeah ive been doing that the last few days and thats fine is just when im down its fucking bad. Supposed to work as a cashier tommorow and god fucking damn that shits gonna be hard. Getting a dog does seem like a good idea tho now that i think about it.
ASSholebomber22
Active member
14543500:tutipups said:
GrapeHunter
Active member
14543499:tutipups said:
do not get a fucking dog u will get over this chick and be stuck with a major burden that you won't be able to take care of because you have to go to work or school all day. don't make a dog have an awful life because you wanted a pick-me-up from a breakup. downvote this all you want, but you all know its true
Granby_killdozer
Active member
14543504:GrapeHunter said:
you know there are dog breeds that are perfectly content laying around sleeping all day and are chill as shit right? taking care of a dog can be very easy. They are a huge responsibility but I can garuntee they're better off sitting around a house than they are in most shelters.
**This post was edited on Jul 8th 2023 at 2:02:38am
freestyler540
Active member
Sorry to hear OP, i feel ya. It feels like girls believe guys dont have emotions, or too macho to have feeling.
My best advice is talking it out with a trusted friend. One who wont say much and let ya say anything without prejudice. Its ok to have emotional outburst for the first while. Avoid social media at all cost and talk to someone real.
I mixed high risk sports to purge to mind of any residual feelings; nothing reminds you more about wanting to be alive when freeclimbing a 60’ cliff. Going outside to get exercise is the best way to clear the mind and soul. Things like booze will not help.
My best advice is talking it out with a trusted friend. One who wont say much and let ya say anything without prejudice. Its ok to have emotional outburst for the first while. Avoid social media at all cost and talk to someone real.
I mixed high risk sports to purge to mind of any residual feelings; nothing reminds you more about wanting to be alive when freeclimbing a 60’ cliff. Going outside to get exercise is the best way to clear the mind and soul. Things like booze will not help.
Granby_killdozer
Active member
14543498:Lonely said:
Idk. It’s helped me… have you actually tried banging a different chick since your breakup? I’ve been through many and the self esteem boosts definitely helped. You gotta be like Austin powers and get ur mojo back baby
GrapeHunter
Active member
14543512:tutipups said:
maybe u gotta stop dating chicks with major problems, doesn't seem to be helping you're situation. u don't get paid enough to be their shrink
arnie_grape
Active member
never been dumped ama
SchizoSkier
Active member
14543385:partyandBS said:
I am beginning to dislike you less and less each day
partyandBS
Active member
14543591:SchizoSkier said:
That’s probably cause when i was most active on here was when I was the deepest in both my trauma induced major depression disorder and my excessive drinking so ya didn’t get the best me. Thats for sure. But then I went through a quite a pivotal moment and now I’m deep into my own self healing and today is 123 days sober. A bit more thoughtful with my approach to life these days.
sorry you ever got a version of me that ya didn’t like. My B
Granby_killdozer
Active member
This thread has aids. I regret contributing to it.
a_pla5tic_bag
Active member
Boy have I got the song for you OP
C.R.E.A.M
Active member
Have you thought about what your needs are? What can you do or are you doing to put yourself in a position to do those things? Eating healthy, exercising, focusing on a career or something that provides joy/income/belonging? You can't draw a map to somewhere you have never been, you can't help someone if you yourself need help. Focus on yourself, start by getting up and going for a long walk or jog.
ASSholebomber22
Active member
14545234:C.R.E.A.M said:
That's fuckin deep bro
Young_patty
Active member
Years from now you might stumble across one of her posts on social media, maybe with a husband or new boyfriend.
And you’ll sit there, and silently think to yourself:
“thank god she found someone that makes her happy, cause it sure as shit was not about to be me”
and then you’ll scroll right past it, as if nothing ever happened at all.
And you’ll sit there, and silently think to yourself:
“thank god she found someone that makes her happy, cause it sure as shit was not about to be me”
and then you’ll scroll right past it, as if nothing ever happened at all.
ASSholebomber22
Active member
14545259:Lonely said:
What about this: one day, you'll come across a GoFundMe for $3k started by her fiance who asspacked someone to replace his mid 90's accord after having to sell his house and brand new 4runner because he didn't know how to budget between oil field jobs
Too specific and tmi but lol enjoy your downgrade hoe
ASSholebomber22
Active member
14545265:Lonely said:
Hell no lol but occasionally I'll open it to laugh at the $200 donated of the $3000 he asked for after sharing the GoFundMe half a dozen times
Young_patty
Active member
14545259:Lonely said:
LMAO bruh, she must have reaaaally hurt you. Couldn’t be me.
“We need justice brother”
dawg sometimes the best justice is her seeing you flourish and succeed in life without her. Move on already king.
14545269:Young_patty said:
Hey man, you can move on and also not wish the best for someone who fucked ya over
If people do something shitty its nice to see that karma reciprocated in all parts of life, not just relationships.
Don't waste brain space on them, but also don't huff the "I'm so happy the shitty person is happy" copium either.
Young_patty
Active member
14545274:Lonely said:
I feel you Dawg, but idk if going through life holding grudges like that is really the healthiest way to live.
And you know that the opposite of love isn’t hate right? It’s apathy. You hate this girl because you loved what y’all had and now it’s over. Sorry but also not sorry.
you know what’s better than getting “justice” after being dumped? Making a better life for yourself and knowing she’ll never be apart of it. Living your life unbothered by her existence is way more powerful than holding some grudge.
littleman34
Active member
Damn man sorry to hear what youre going through. Letting go of your love and memories can be so hard I think its something we can all relate to. Personally I feel that its about letting yourself feel that sadness and loss, accepting it, and seeing how you can move forward. Maybe find a new hobby to set your mind to, or get prepped for ski season!!
Lots of really good wisdom in this thread man. Take care of yourself and remember you will move on eventually and you will meet someone new down the road
Lots of really good wisdom in this thread man. Take care of yourself and remember you will move on eventually and you will meet someone new down the road