What are your excuses for not calling your girlfriend?

becuase she has gone crazy in the last week or so, and i really dont want to see her crazy ass anymore, and am in love with another girl. seems simple enough. but thats not what i tell her. i say, im tired let me sleep
 
i start refering to myself in 3rd person when ever she gets mad... she then usuially laughs at me for being dumb and forgets why she was mad in the first place
 
wait are u still with that girl that had the giant take pictures of her(shamo as lats would say)

or this someone new?

do u pay them or waht?
 
But then when she calls me, I say: "Bitch don't you ever, EVER, call my house again. If you do, I swear to God almighty that I will drive right over to your house and kill you and anyone else in it, including your dumb fucking fish and your dog. If you want the Meat Puppet, you page me bitch, and then get your ass over here. And bring some donuts too, I love donuts."
 
I just say "You have a phone too, my cell's always on, so why didn't you call me?"

Can't really get mad at you if you turn the tables on her.
 
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