Weirdest things your parents have ever said to you...

jimmychung

jimmychung

Active member
A reverse of another thread. So, let's hear it.

For me:

-We were all dressed up for something, and my dad and I had our suits on. And we were sitting on the couch, and my dad looks down and says, "I hate how suit pants make it look like you have a boner when you sit down."
 
Probobly the weirdest would have to be when my dad just randomly out of nowhere said to me, "You know son, if you like boys we wouldn't mind. Just thought I'd let you know." Right there I was just tempted to say that I've messed around with a few girls in his camper/couch/bed... But I held back.
 
Hehe...

I'd have to say, it wasn't anything my parents said, but I was getting a haircut yesterday and the barbers (4 of em) were talking about how attractive my mom is(cause she came in earlier to get my bro's haircut) anyway... 4 older men discussing how "you know the older they get, the better they look" sorta weirded me out.. and one old man goes "well they're all the same when you turn them upside down".. i was thrown off to say the least..
 
my parents have never said anyhitng very weird to me but one of my friends moms said " never do acid while driving a car" but his mom is a little weird she has alot of those big silver bars burried in their back yard for when the economy crashes
 
hahahahha, hmm yeah the weirdest thing hmm i'll have to get back to u on that one i cant think of any....my parents r pretty normal an dont tend to say random an weird things to me....

peace

***$FREE$KIER$***

~Baker~

*Powder Kings*
 
its not something bad that made me feel awkward or anything, but i had some melted butter and but it in the fridge and my dad comes down looks in the fridge comes over to me and in all seriousness said the did the fridge melt the butter?..............looking back now its not very funny, my parents are pretty normal people.
 
my dad asked me if i liked the taste of clams. i pretended not to know. but it was the weirdest thing ever.
 
there are a bunch, but the worst was most likely when my mom was piss drunk at a wedding and decided it would be fun to start explaining to me that the reason i probably like skiing so much is because i was concieved IN a hottub in aspen...i told her never to speak again
 
My rents never say anything awkward. It's weird, they never talk to me about anything out of the ordinary.

They weren't suprised when I told them I drink a bit and want Guiness for my birthday, I swear I can't faze them.
 
not the wierdest, but tonight my dad was arguing that pot should be legalized w/ his friend.
 
ahhh that does remind me of an akward thing now that you mention it... we had one of those free weekend things that you sometimes get from HBO and its all porn. you know what i am talking about. so anyways i am on the computer and its like midnight, my dads girlfriend walks out to make pop corn, on her way back in she goes "hey Cal. Would you like to come watch X rated movies with your father and brother and I?" i have tried to forget that night
 
My mom told me when we were at an Eric Clapton concert, and we could see the sound board guy gettin high, "Everything is better with a little pot."
 
its not a big deal..or at least not to me, its more just funny now, but i defintely wouldn't break that news to like a 10 year old
 
1 time my dad was having the "porn talk". cuz he came down when i was looking at the hot girl thread so i franticly scrolled down but he still saw....so then he says" now if theres snything that you dont understand on a site that ur not supposed to be on, just ask me"...i was just like, ummm ok
 
my dad started talking to me about how my sister was concieved in mexico and he actually went into detail, like why they did then and stuff. then he said i forget where we made you. it was wierd.
 
"make sure you wear condoms unless you want things to get messy. go have fun"

"pull your pants up. it looks like you have no crotch"

"you twat!!!!"

"that lady is a frickin bonehead"

"what a fat slob. how can people just not care about anything enough to let themselves be disgusting"

"you wanna know how i know the dog eats pretty much anything? because i clean up her shit. i'm surprised she isn't dead yet"

"so this old drunk street bum came in one night and was asking all the nurses for a handjob"

.....those were just a few i could think of, off hand.
 
my mom told me that my ex bf and i could get a hotel room after the damian marley concert on weds if we were too tired to drive, but we made it home and he was too tired to drive home himself, so he was gonna stay over, so i tell my mom and shes like where is he gonna sleep and i said " my room?" shes like "the couch.." i am like ok, then she comes down 5 mins later and says he can sleep in my room, its just a bed in my room... kinda caught me by surprise, then the next night she says he can sleep in my room again and i think she thinks him and i are still dating, had to be one of the weirdest things my mother has ever said to me
 
BAD RASTAFARIAN, BAD! I would've taken more time to come up with a more clever post making fun of you but then I remembered that you're a complete bitch.
 
My mom and dad went down to Key West to visit my uncle and they were partying it up pretty good. So they got back and they were telling me all these stories about the trannies, the chicks flashing people, and all the other off the wall stuff. Then dad and I were in the backyard moving some lumber and dad was telling me about this one chick who was flashing a bunch of dudes in a bar. She was wearing a mini skirt and I guess she pulled up the skirt to show off her cooch. Dad says to me, "Man, she had the nicest shaved snatch"...his exact words. I just kinda laughed nervously and hoped I would never heard the words "shaved snatch" come out of his mouth again!
 
had some peanut plants just grow out of nowhere at my parents. i was like "give me some seed so i can plant then on my balcony at my apartment"

dad says "then people will think you are growing marijuana off your balcony"

i tried so hard not to laugh
 
i really liked when my mom was trashed at thanksgiving and started brushing her hair with a knife at the dinner table.

or when she was telling me the story how her brother in law hates her (my creepy uncle) cause she gave his sons jell-o shots and theyre 16, old enough to drink, clearly.

my mom also tries to rap and her main goal is to "freakey-dance."

sometimes she tells me about when she and my dad did coke during their wedding.

i find it weird when she asks me about my sex life by saying things like "WOW that looks like a hickey." or "Are you sore today?"

yep, she's a keeper.
 
"Don't bed down drunk." that was the only sex talk my mother ever gave me, and i was 18 leaving for college when she said it.
 
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