Weirdest conversation on the lift

This old dude got on the lift with me and weiw. He was bitching about hitting some rock with his brand new skis the whole ride up. Keep in mind it was the 2nd weekend killington was open so obviously the coverage isn't great. And the whole 10 minutes he would not shut up about the rock. "That cock sucking mother fucking gay ass fucking cock sucker rock" Heard that about 50 times on the way up.
 
I was at Powder Mountain and these two guys were arguing if they were at Powder Mountain or Snowbasin. One guy had a skate helmet on backwards. They were dressed pretty gaper. They could have been trollin' but I doubt it.
 
not even that weird but I met this old guy that absolutely loved his mary jane. He kept asking if I smoked, and I think he just wanted a friend. I was skiing solo so I shredded with him and smoked a couple bowls in the woods haha
 
haha they had to be trolling. those resorts are exact opposites.

i rode up with this one dude at the bird the other day who told me a friend of his got in a fight with a guy in the lift line about cutting, they ended up on the same lift, and he ended up pushing the dude off the lift. he got sued and kicked out of snowbird of life apparently.
 
It was back in the day when I was like 8 getting my first lesson at Northstar, These kids dipshit parents put them in an advanced lesson even though they had only skied for a week so instead of learning I had to wait every time they ate shit. And one of them kept collecting pine cones but the instructor told him to put them down. The kid noticed that he got sap on his jacket and the whole lift up I had to listen to "That dang ole pine cone ruined my day" over and over, my little 8 year old self was like "Dafaq ?"
 
Not on a lift, but i got picked up hitchhiking down the Sea to Sky to Van once and the guy who picked me up started talking about how he thought Serial Killers were the next progression to human evolution.

I got out of the car fine, but was prepared to jump out of the car if shit got any weirder.
 
Skied with a super homie old guy at Crystal and he smoked me out and then he told me on the lift he had a buddy that almost died from a windsurfing fin going up his butthole after bailing on an air.

It wasn't a weird conversation, but boy would I hate to have a windsurfing fin tear my sphincter.
 
My Friend rode on the lift with an old guy at my hill who said that he was going to be in the olympics and everybody called him Peter Pan because he wanted to live young and be free.

 
some guys went off on how the government uses atmosphere harvesting technologies to launch tsunamis in japan. and one time at bachelor some guy tried to get me to believe in god and he prayed with me.
 
I was taking a last lap and got on the lift with a bunch of 40-50 year old jersey guys. About a quarter of the way up, the guy to my left pulled out a pack of gum and in the most obnoxious accent ever went around the lift "Single? Single? anybody wanna single?" After turning it down I listened to them discuss their favorite pornos and how they left a "brutal scene" on and one of their 6 year old daughters had watched it and started screaming daddy.
 
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A few old school guys, around the age of 60, were talking about getting vag and making fun of the ones not getting any. Almost threw up. I didnt know you could get down when you were that old!
 
I was on the lift for The Wall at Kirkwood. Anyone who knows Kirkwood, knows this lift is long. The one other guy on the lift started chatting, nothing weird. 10 minutes later I'm listening to a full blown pitch for switching to DirecTV. No joke, this guy was a DirecTV salesman and was using his day off to troll the lifts for sales. I got off at the top and he rode the lift back down. And no, I didn't buy it.
 
Some guy was ranting about how the government controls the weather. He called me a fucking retard when I disagreed with him. He then proceeded to tell me he takes hemp oil pills, and he was 300 years old.
 
I was on one of the longest and slowest lifts I have been on (around 10 minutes to top) with this Australian guy that had an extremely strong accent. He talked non-stop and I could only make out 20% of what he was saying. So I just went "mhmm" when I could and tried my best to hang in. I pulled out my phone and pretended to get a call, but he talked even louder and asked me about the phone. Somehow he persuaded me to hang up so we could continue our great conversation.
 
Hahahah I love his description of the rock.

I used to be pissed about hitting rocks, but now I'm at the stage that if I see one I'll actively go towards it to use as a jump.
 
me and my one friend were on the lift with an old women and a girl around 5. this little girl would lick her mitten and then rub it all over the seat in the space between my friend and her. park lift too. my friend later asked " What if i get aids?" i ignored him
 
Mine wasn't exactly weird but it was funny. Some guy wouldn't stop complaining about how he forgot his weed on the counter at home and how he could find some for after he finished skiing. It was one of those you had to be there moments.
 
Some old guy told me I should quit skiing to avoid getting a concussion because he asked about colleges and I told him about how I'm doing in school, etc. He also told me his son was on Forum's AM team... so there's your cool story for the day
 
Weird. When I was in batchelor over winter break some dude I rode up summit with kept trying to convince me to join the mars hill church. Apparently, the reverend there "preaches the word of god like it was meant to be preached." Right as we got off I was like "thanks, but no thanks" and skied off.
 
one time a friend and i were being asked by a stranger about the camera we were using. we proceeded to tell him about how we use it for pornography and how its such a lucrative business.
 
I got a really funny story about how this guy broke up with his girlfriend.

He was fuming about how he was watching golf that day and she came in and said, "You know, watching golf is a huuge turnoff" (the guy nailed the voice), and how she proceeded to put in a chick flick and told him "watch this, and tell me what happens in it". He explained how he got a couple minutes through it when she came down to apologize and he just snapped, he told me he said something along the lines of "Fuck your movie, fuck your rules, and fuck you! I'm done with you and I'm going skiing!"

I was laughing my ass off because he proceeded to bitch about her shit being all over his house and how he was going to get drunk that night and come home and step on all of her "pointy-ass shoes".

I just wished him luck with the whole situation and went on with my day haha.
 
I spent a chairlift ride discussing different scenarios of what would happen to all the campers at Windells if Mt Hood erupted. This was with Colby West. And he brought up the topic of conversation. I think he kind of wanted it to erupt.
 
rode up with some old dudes at killington and they were talking about foods that relieve constipation

 
it was in austria and it was one half an hour till the lifts closed. me and my brother were riding up with three english snowboarder bums we had joined up with and they were arguing about how they wanted to keep skiing pow but they needed to get into town to get job cuz they were down to 10 bucks. it felt like a sitcom and i wish i'd had my cameramore funny than weird
 
One time i rode up the chair with 2 black guys and they were talking about girls at the gym with camel toes. by far one of the funniest conversations i have ever heard. " Hey wheres the camel toe?" "down on the bottom shelf by the pickles." soooo funny where that conversation led to.
 
I was talking with a bunch of guys from Toronto on a chairlift in Whistler 2008 about how the worst people I've met and meet are consistently from Toronto.

It's like a rule for me: Toronto = Total Douchebag.

They didn't even care, thought it was funny. I said there must be a point where you wake up in the morning and realize you are a complete and utter douchebag, and then you realize there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, and then you go back to sleep. They were in agreement: well that was cool.

 
Though the guy i was with had a bluetooth in, turns out he was just talking to himself. About the weather and how it affects aura's. I guess crazy fucks love talking about the weather.
 
I was teaching a lesson to a 6 year old, but his dad decided to tag along. And on the lift the dad tells me that his son walked in on his parents having sex, except his parents are gay, and now he thinks because of that his son is now gay. And then on the next lift ride the son tells me the same story and how he doesnt understand why he doesnt have a mom, yet he for some reason is ok with that.....
 
In the gondola my friend was talking about how much she hates telemark skiers and the single who was with us pointed to his skis on the rack outside and they were telemark skis. It was super awkward
 
Met some super old guy that said he had hit inferno when it was like a 90 ft quarterpipe and has known compton/lupe/williams since they were kids
 
When I was younger, around 9 or 10, I rode up the lift with three maybe 18 or 19 year old kids. One of them told me that if they could describe my goggles with any hormone, it would be dopamine. He and another one of his friends started to debate what function dopamine served in your body. It really wasn't that weird in retrospect, but it was when I was younger.
 
This kid asked me my age and i told him. Then i was like are you in 8th grade? Nope.. 9th? nope, turns out he's 21 and in college. Not a crazy story but fairly awkward. Oh and also one time this guy whipped out a bong and took a couple puffs and put it away
 
My first year living in SLC, first lift ride at park city, Im on the lift with these two business men friends who hadnt seen each other for a few years so they were catching up on their travels. One of the guys kept talking about having just come from dubai where there is this skybar(?, im guessing a bar at the top of a skyscraper) that had the best 150$ martinis. I had spent all that morning planning out how to live off 150$ for a month.

Not really a weird story, but i have never been able to relate to someone so little before.
 
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