We Love John Symms
- Thread starter Lilhorsey
- Start date
hahahah that shit is hilarious. i loved the in-depth coverage of womens slope
The_Oakley_Kid
Active member
finally someone tells it like it is
Peter.
Active member
omg rofl
im laughing so hard at "blow up and eat shit"
3:56 p.m. Don’t know who this is. Woah, nice 360. She almost grabbed
her skis on that one. Coming into the second jump and…she eats shit and
blows up.
4:00 p.m. Nice fakie 180, Kristi. Oops. Stays on her feet. And she’s
skipping the rest of the course. At least she didn’t blow up and eat
shit like the rest of the girls. Kristi’s ability to ski from top to
bottom without injury might just bump her into that coveted first-place
spot.
im laughing so hard at "blow up and eat shit"
3:56 p.m. Don’t know who this is. Woah, nice 360. She almost grabbed
her skis on that one. Coming into the second jump and…she eats shit and
blows up.
4:00 p.m. Nice fakie 180, Kristi. Oops. Stays on her feet. And she’s
skipping the rest of the course. At least she didn’t blow up and eat
shit like the rest of the girls. Kristi’s ability to ski from top to
bottom without injury might just bump her into that coveted first-place
spot.
i hope he comments on mens slopestyle too.
SirFryanator
Active member
hahahahah yes we do love john symms. Keeping it real.
zesty_buddy
Member
pretty funny, i lol'd
saucer_boy_lives
Member
live blogging the women’s us open slopestyle finals
February 1, 2008
3:56
p.m. Don’t know who this is. Woah, nice 360. She almost grabbed her
skis on that one. Coming into the second jump and…she eats shit and
blows up.
4:00 p.m. Nice fakie 180, Kristi. Oops. Stays on her feet. And she’s
skipping the rest of the course. At least she didn’t blow up and eat
shit like the rest of the girls. Kristi’s ability to ski from top to
bottom without injury might just bump her into that coveted first-place
spot.
4:02 p.m. Angeli VanL’aanen just skied from top to bottom, only
skipped one feature, and only looked like she was going to eat serious
shit one time. She’s in first now for sure.
4:05 p.m. Look out. Here comes Stephanie Meyers. Careful with those
knees, Steph. Nice straight air. Uncle E says, “That’s a 90 off, isn’t
it?” It is, Chris. Stephanie Meyers seriously upped the ante on that
last run. Kim Lamarre is way out in first right now. I bet her run is
sick. I joined the contest after her first run though. Hibbert says,
“Come on, Meg. Bring out the 900.” Yeah right.
4:08 p.m. Uncle E is bringing spectators back from commercial with
the quote, “Slopestyle for you newcomers…” I guess he doesn’t realize
that all the newcomers are competing in the women’s slopestyle right
now. Meg just blew up and ate shit on the flat-down box. No worries,
Meg. You’d only have to worry if somebody behind you was about to land
a run.
4:10 p.m. Kim Lamarre. She just ate shit on the knuckle of jump #3.
However, she grabbed her skis three times before that, which is three
more times than the rest of the field grabbed their skis. And then,
despite the bummer in the middle, she just did some legit-ass rail
tricks on the bottom. If I could do Kim’s rail stuff, maybe I could
compete in a slopestyle. She’s going to win.
4:12 p.m. Uh oh, Kim. Some girl with a name I’m not going to try to
spell just spun more than 360 on one of the jumps, and she slid the
down-flat-down rail.
4:14 p.m. Kim’s safe. Aerts is into 3rd. That’s legit. She had a
legit run. Kim ought to think about moving up to the big leagues and
competing in the slopestyle coming up after the girls’ contest.
4:15 p.m. 360. 360. 360. Skip the rest of the course. The crowd goes wild.
4:18 p.m. Battersby makes it to the bottom without getting hurt. She
might pop up into first. I didn’t see Kim’s run, but Ashley spun a lot,
and looked much less like she was going to blow up and eat shit than
any of the rest of the girls I’ve seen. She could take it. Just more
proof that ESPN needs to boost ratings and put women’s slopestyle into
the X Games.
4:20 p.m. Shanny Coen is going for it. Great fakie 180! Going big on
jump 2 and…she lands right on her side/face. Thanks for coming out,
Shanny.
4:21 p.m. Van Valin calls out a 540. Somehow this girl did a 5 taking off and landing forward. Amy Sheehan.
4:22 p.m. Commercial break. I’m glad I’m not judging this event. How
do you tell one phenomenal 360 muscle-flex from another? The technical
subtleties of these runs take a well-seasoned adjudicatory eye to
discern.
4:24 p.m. Ashley Battersby just shot up into first place. Better
luck next year, Kim. Maiko Hara just did an inward 270 off of the flat
rail. Progressive. Uncle E is trying to piece the lead change together
and says, “maybe it was that switch 540 up top.” Maybe. Maybe it was
that switch 270 disaster at the 2004 Powder Magazine Superpark.
4:27 p.m. Anna Segal killed the jumps. Then she killed herself on the rails. Better luck next year, Anna.
4:29 p.m. Caia something has just done some very stylie turns around
the jumps in the course. She got a little sketchy going through some
soft stuff on the sides. But her decision to stay out of the air should
lock her up the fastest time on the course thus far.
4:33 p.m. Stephanie Meyers. Last chance to dethrone Battersby and
her masterful handling of everything on the course except for her skis
(get it, she didn’t grab). And she eats shit. Gotta keep working on
keeping those eyes open off the takeoffs, Steph. Keep those eyes open,
and you’ll land flat on your back far less.
4:36 p.m. Ashley takes it home. Nice job, Ashley.
February 1, 2008
3:56
p.m. Don’t know who this is. Woah, nice 360. She almost grabbed her
skis on that one. Coming into the second jump and…she eats shit and
blows up.
4:00 p.m. Nice fakie 180, Kristi. Oops. Stays on her feet. And she’s
skipping the rest of the course. At least she didn’t blow up and eat
shit like the rest of the girls. Kristi’s ability to ski from top to
bottom without injury might just bump her into that coveted first-place
spot.
4:02 p.m. Angeli VanL’aanen just skied from top to bottom, only
skipped one feature, and only looked like she was going to eat serious
shit one time. She’s in first now for sure.
4:05 p.m. Look out. Here comes Stephanie Meyers. Careful with those
knees, Steph. Nice straight air. Uncle E says, “That’s a 90 off, isn’t
it?” It is, Chris. Stephanie Meyers seriously upped the ante on that
last run. Kim Lamarre is way out in first right now. I bet her run is
sick. I joined the contest after her first run though. Hibbert says,
“Come on, Meg. Bring out the 900.” Yeah right.
4:08 p.m. Uncle E is bringing spectators back from commercial with
the quote, “Slopestyle for you newcomers…” I guess he doesn’t realize
that all the newcomers are competing in the women’s slopestyle right
now. Meg just blew up and ate shit on the flat-down box. No worries,
Meg. You’d only have to worry if somebody behind you was about to land
a run.
4:10 p.m. Kim Lamarre. She just ate shit on the knuckle of jump #3.
However, she grabbed her skis three times before that, which is three
more times than the rest of the field grabbed their skis. And then,
despite the bummer in the middle, she just did some legit-ass rail
tricks on the bottom. If I could do Kim’s rail stuff, maybe I could
compete in a slopestyle. She’s going to win.
4:12 p.m. Uh oh, Kim. Some girl with a name I’m not going to try to
spell just spun more than 360 on one of the jumps, and she slid the
down-flat-down rail.
4:14 p.m. Kim’s safe. Aerts is into 3rd. That’s legit. She had a
legit run. Kim ought to think about moving up to the big leagues and
competing in the slopestyle coming up after the girls’ contest.
4:15 p.m. 360. 360. 360. Skip the rest of the course. The crowd goes wild.
4:18 p.m. Battersby makes it to the bottom without getting hurt. She
might pop up into first. I didn’t see Kim’s run, but Ashley spun a lot,
and looked much less like she was going to blow up and eat shit than
any of the rest of the girls I’ve seen. She could take it. Just more
proof that ESPN needs to boost ratings and put women’s slopestyle into
the X Games.
4:20 p.m. Shanny Coen is going for it. Great fakie 180! Going big on
jump 2 and…she lands right on her side/face. Thanks for coming out,
Shanny.
4:21 p.m. Van Valin calls out a 540. Somehow this girl did a 5 taking off and landing forward. Amy Sheehan.
4:22 p.m. Commercial break. I’m glad I’m not judging this event. How
do you tell one phenomenal 360 muscle-flex from another? The technical
subtleties of these runs take a well-seasoned adjudicatory eye to
discern.
4:24 p.m. Ashley Battersby just shot up into first place. Better
luck next year, Kim. Maiko Hara just did an inward 270 off of the flat
rail. Progressive. Uncle E is trying to piece the lead change together
and says, “maybe it was that switch 540 up top.” Maybe. Maybe it was
that switch 270 disaster at the 2004 Powder Magazine Superpark.
4:27 p.m. Anna Segal killed the jumps. Then she killed herself on the rails. Better luck next year, Anna.
4:29 p.m. Caia something has just done some very stylie turns around
the jumps in the course. She got a little sketchy going through some
soft stuff on the sides. But her decision to stay out of the air should
lock her up the fastest time on the course thus far.
4:33 p.m. Stephanie Meyers. Last chance to dethrone Battersby and
her masterful handling of everything on the course except for her skis
(get it, she didn’t grab). And she eats shit. Gotta keep working on
keeping those eyes open off the takeoffs, Steph. Keep those eyes open,
and you’ll land flat on your back far less.
4:36 p.m. Ashley takes it home. Nice job, Ashley.
solitaryman
Active member
amazing.
hollygrove
Active member
"“Slopestyle for you newcomers…†I guess he doesn’t realize that all the newcomers are competing in the women’s slopestyle right now. "
ahhahahhaa
ahhahahhaa
4:29 p.m. Caia something has just done some very stylie turns around
the jumps in the course. She got a little sketchy going through some
soft stuff on the sides. But her decision to stay out of the air should
lock her up the fastest time on the course thus far.
the jumps in the course. She got a little sketchy going through some
soft stuff on the sides. But her decision to stay out of the air should
lock her up the fastest time on the course thus far.
skiminnesota
Active member
this is my favorite but, since you beat me.... here is number 2
4:21 p.m. Van Valin calls out a 540. Somehow this girl did a 5 taking off and landing forward. Amy Sheehan.
4:21 p.m. Van Valin calls out a 540. Somehow this girl did a 5 taking off and landing forward. Amy Sheehan.
edmonton_skier
Active member
hahahaha ive never laughed harder
SteezePatrol
Active member
did ns stream the chicks too?
Literature
Active member
I much appreciate! Hell where chicks spin good ski?
snowbladesforlife
Active member
Yes and even though I believe in the women's rights movement, they shouldn't have had the right to be on that course competing. If I hadn't have been so drunk during the middle of the day I would have spiked my computer. Then the moderators deleted my insightful, passion driven threads on the subject. Â
sdfjklioeur
Active member
hahaha
im john symms, i dont like soft serve
im just kidding, i love soft serve
im john symms, i dont like soft serve
im just kidding, i love soft serve
snowbladesforlife
Active member
Judging from what I saw they should have divided up the prize money and been given equal last places.Â
I have a joke for you:
How many girls does it take to get worked by a curved upbox?
That's why they shouldn't be on the course.Â
I have a joke for you:
How many girls does it take to get worked by a curved upbox?
That's why they shouldn't be on the course.Â
Caveman.
Active member
You are going to the US Open right? After all this shit talking? Talking shit on the women and Evan Heath among others? Symm's blog was humorous. You and your posts make you seem like a douche bag. Why don't you take your snowlerblades down to Copper and see how many features you can fag tag with them.
