WARNING, you may be gothic...

Roussel

Member
**found in a christian news letter**

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, andviolence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:

reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other

Satanic

worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn

Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the

Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the

Bible,

prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,

witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.

(This

is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God

and

His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local

mental

health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to

vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may

speak

to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an

adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are

but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires

believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and

should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask

your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the

computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,

Scientology,

Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various

phrases: 'I'm so gothic, I'm dead', 'woe is me', 'I'm a goth'.

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene

immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within

it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your

local

mental health center.

--------------------

SkiboardMagazine.com
 
they forgot to say that snowblade is the devil...

'Moi c'que j'propose c qu'on envoye chier l'monde, on leur paye une criss de traite'
 
that just describes like every nigro out there

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When your not sure about something, just HUCK IT!
 
welp 1 outta 28, i guess im clean.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
hahaha masturbates.....so they are sayin that eery guy on the planet is a goth..and that was hilarious bout count dracula cereal

look down at your penis and then look at the girl, look down again and then back at the girl and say 'its not gonna suck itself!!!!!!'

-twintipin13

 
fantastic. i am going out to get a button that says woe is me today. and count chocula cereal... definatly of the devil. but thats just cause im so gawth.

-you think you can take us on... you and your cronies-
 
He who dwelleth in the eternal pit of despair and destruction..this is about you......you will love it......eternally?

I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.

I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it 'black black.'

I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.

goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.

goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, 'Oh no, now I'm goth!'

I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.

I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.

I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.

I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.

I'm so goth, I'm not only 'goth,' but also 'gothe' 'goff' 'gawth' 'gauwth' 'gothic' 'gothik' 'gothique' and 'gawfickk' and soon I hope to be 'gauewthickueu.'

I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, 'What are YOU so happy about?'

I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.

goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.

goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.

goth #3: What's a smile?

I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, 'What's with the shades?'

This next one is the feature of it all...... it could be a good song for us...you know...RRRIIIGGAAMMORTISSSSSSSSS.......

I'm so goth I say things like 'eternally yours in darkness' and 'love and darkness' and

especailly this one...

'may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace.'

I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.

I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.

I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth.

I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.

goth #1: I'm so goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.

goth #2: I'm so goth I AM the rain cloud.

I'm so goth I'm more goth than anyone else.

goth #1: I'm so goth I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

goth #2: I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.

goth #3: I'm so goth I pierced all my tattoos.

I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.

I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.

I'm so goth I'm dead.

I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.

I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, 'DEATH.'

I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, 'DEATH.'

I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.

I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.

goth #1: I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.

goth #2: I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.

goth #3: I'm so goth I stole my dog's collar.

I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.

I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.

I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.

I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized by my appearance.

I'm so goth I've been banned.

I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, 'the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!'

I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.

I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.

I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.

I'm so goth I like them better that way.

I'm so goth I punched a care bear.

I'm so goth I think saying 'oh my goth' is cute.

I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.

I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.

I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!

I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.

I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.

I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!

I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.

I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear 'Toccata and fugue in D minor.'

I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.

I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, 'the darkest dark of the dark darkness.'

I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.

goth #1: I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.

goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.

I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.

I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.

I'm so goth I'm catholic.

I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.

I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.

I'm so goth I was adopted by the Addams family.

I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.

I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.

I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.

I'm so goth I . . . wear . . . my . . . sunnnnnglasses at night (sung with a Corey Hart pout).

I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.

I'm so goth I want to die die die my hair black.

I'm so goth I'm on the second stage of aloof . . . I'm 'bloof.'

I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.

I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph.

I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.

I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat 'glummy bears.'

I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.

I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.

I'm so goth I call a smile a 'concave frown.'

I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.

I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.

I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.

I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.

My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.

I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.

I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.

I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.

I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.

goth #1: I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.

goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just 'goth.'

I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am.

I'm so goth I always use the word 'goth' instead of 'got.'

I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word 'goth' in it.

I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!

and always remember..

'may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace.'

-you think you can take us on... you and your cronies-
 
This is hilarious, where did you find it?

'-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night. '

All teenagers must worship satan.... those insomniacs are actually demon-invoking infidels.

My favourite: '-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.'

And this...

'-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the

computer.'

Uh oh... they figured us out... NS.com is actually a front for satanism

'-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask

your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. '

See, I TOLD you we should've joined the Amish

'Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include:... Scientology,

Philosophy...Hinduism and Buddhism.'

HAHAHAHAHHAHA...philosophy? Yeah, better not go near anything whose name means 'Love of Knowledge'. That's just asking for trouble.

Ahhh, you have to love extremists, if only for amusement purposes.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
the count dracula creal was a little too far, Did hey mean Count Chocula? A lot of those describe this girl at my church.

 
^I think so... haha, pretty much ALL of those were a little too far.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Hinduism and Buddhism.

That is the funniest thing i have read all day. tibitan monks are really just pasificist satian worshipers... I want to meet who ever wrote that. It might just be the highlight of my life.

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*
 
^Oh, there are plenty of them.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
i duno masteubating is pretty within the lines.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
nope, right way to spell it, well searching for porn it is.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
^I don't think there's an E...

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
where you get that, i would love sending them a graph on how religon has declided so rapidlly over the last 50 years.

Chris Knight : So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.

Susan : Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight : Not right now.

Susan : A girl's gotta have her standards.

'Those things look like they have been stuck in the vaginal cannel for 3 years'

- My ecnomics teacher
 
i like how they call philosophy a dangerous religion... and i can only hope that thats a joke, because the only thing stupider than a goth kid is a goth kids insane christian parents. i blame nascar.

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

i love watching people get nutted. i hate seeing naked fat people getting the box munched - BallinBU

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Basically, you have to fly planes into buildings before anyone listens to you these days. - Jib_This
 
fuck, i got 21

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the

Bible,

prayer, church or sports.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may

speak

to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an

adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are

but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask

your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the

computer.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

---------------------

I have a different stance on abortion: I'm against abortion, but for killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be 'pro choice' is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80.
 
That is why I despise sectors of the Christian Church.

And yes, I am apparently a goth - lets all hold hands and rid ourselves of Satan.

-AndrewP

-------------------------------

Go Fishing. Go Ride.

 
-I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.

-I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.

-I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.

Hahahaha, I found these the funniest. Happy meal on was the best.

 
well i got 17!

actually back in junior high school i was a goth! i did the whole black trench coat and nail polish thing, listened to marilyn manson and nine inch nails, kept wanting to get a shit load of piercings but since i was under 16 i couldn't.

now i listen to mainly hip hop, have 3 piercings and am generally scared of people my age that are goths

SKIER'S IRRESPONSIBILITY CODE

1.ski FAST at ALL TIMES

2.take MAX air at EVERY opportunity

3.POACH everyone's favourite lines

4.IGNORE all posted signs

5.EVADE patrol at all costs

6.SMOKE big fat stinky ones

7.DRINK to excess

***C*C*R***
 
goths and rednecks are the two most amusing groups of people in our society. without them we'd all look so much stupider

-Strode

Abba Zabba, you my only friend
 
Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask

your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) LOL

/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
 
Ok, please do not take that so seriously, that obviously comes from a very extreme Christian view and really gives Christianity a bad rap, a lot of those things are completely outrageous, like 'insists on spending time with friends unaccompanied by an adult' or 'complains of boredom', and aren't applicable to anything, there is nothing about that in Christianity, simply views of extremists who want to have a tight grip on their children. Honestly, the whole idea of 'Goth' is stupid, its just people craving attention.

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte'?- Mr. Mugatu
 
i consider my self a christian and a bunch of it is bullshit lol

handicaped skiing

is so hot right

now.

finger old truckers for beer then sell the beer- lateralis

have seen a jogger with one, i was high when i saw him and for the first couple of seconds i thought he was really a fucking alien(on the oakley medusa hats)

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES
 
yeah..... iam catholic.. but im not a freak bible pusher,

/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
 
i saw the same article in the 'gay people are bad magazine' and 'teenagers suck newsletter'. i guess i'm mostly goth if thats true.

---------------------

Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

hoodratz47: sweet your now black....
 
those are hilarious

i pee on ur face but i dont care..

i take off ur little sisters underwear

shes only three so shes never seen a wee wee

so i told her it was a lollypop and the flavor was salty.

shoved in her mouth, it punctured through her cheek broke the glasses of that three year old geek.

r. kelly did the same but im not about to give him the blame cuz fucking littles girls is just my game
 
count dracula cereal, thats good shit

--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
 
Haha, that Goth article was probably written by a crazy lunatic Mormon who thinks he has reached Nirvana, only to find that he has been practicing the wrong religion for years and is a complete bastard. I hate close-minded assholes, and goths are just plain scary. Its tough to get to know them when they are slitting their wrist around you and all.

______________________

You Dropped Your Pocket!
 
In the paper a while back my friends sister found an artical titled like how to tell if your teen is on pot. The 'warning signs' where like being tired, wanting to be alone, hanging out with freinds. It was all shit that teens normaly act like

Chris Knight : So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.

Susan : Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight : Not right now.

Susan : A girl's gotta have her standards.

'Those things look like they have been stuck in the vaginal cannel for 3 years'

- My ecnomics teacher
 
im a goth then , true crime streets of la, 12-hour sleep and school suspensions all the way!!

I'd probably eat human if i didn't know where it came from. - Nick Mercon

How many telemarkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? none theyre all dirty hippies with no electricity.- Greg Tuffelmire

 
Dear Mr. Switch Pollard,

You complain of close minded people, and then promptly ripped a system of belif that you obviously have not even an inkling of knowledge about. You have defined what you cliam to hate. For the record, Mormonism has nothing to do with nirvana.

Love,

Mark

P.S. drown yourself.

-you think you can take us on... you and your cronies-
 
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm pretty scared of Christian people who think those kind of things.

Freaks me the fuck out.

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth

What's with all the hate?

 
i fit like, 10 of those. except im an atheist. so i can't be goth, because they worship the devil.

===================

fear makes it fun

member of the association against clubs

newschoolers.com. giving YOU something to do

 
everytime i read that i become more atheist

---------------------

Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

hoodratz47: sweet your now black....
 
Back
Top