Unsupportive parents(?)

Dani*

Dani*

Member
ok well it's not so much both of my parents as it is my mom.

i get into way too many fights with her over stupid shit and i am just so sick of it.

last night she got mad at me because i bought a new wallet because my other one was stolen. i don't understand her ways of thinking.

she thinks I am lying and not going to school. she raided my personal belongings and demands that I let her have my passwords for everything on my laptop.

the other night she said i was a "stupid fucking kid" and that I should just "quit university". she made me give her my university account's password to check if i was going to school (uh they don't take attendance in university). she said what i am studying is a "load of shit" and i won't get a job with it.

she constantly puts me down, I am never good enough for her. and she wonders why I have a low self esteem?

she gets mad at me for having a boyfriend, she gets mad at me for not taking up hobbies she wishes she could do, she gets mad at me for not being like her.

/rant
 
she's a nice person when she wants to be, and she's still my mother.

but i cant say i havent had the urge to punch her in the face.
 
OMG me too i like my mom but she is a specal ed teacher so when she gets home shez always pissed and takes it out on us like there hasnt been one night in 2 months that I've been home we've fought
 
whoa! I started reading that and was ready to write back something about how you shouldnt worry, parents get way easier to deal with when you get to university, but fuck, not for you i guess. Thats pretty shitty.
My 2 cents. move out. Its not the best thing when you are trying to afford school, but you can take out a student loan. I had huge issues with my parents when I lived in their house, under their rules. Once I moved out, all the nagging and authority was useless and they stopped. The relationship is good now, but it was pretty toxic a few years ago.
Worst case scenario, you move out, your mom is still a bitch, just quit seeing her until she comes around and realizes shes being unreasonable. id let her know whats up first. let her know she needs to stop what shes doing, and if she doesnt, cut that out of your life for the time being. Its not permanent, hopefully, but nobody needs the crap your going through, Your mom needs to cut the cord.
 
i would move out, and i have contemplated that option quite a few times - but my parents would probably do everything in their power to keep it from happening, and i know it would break my mom's heart severely. I don't know why but i would feel guilty...
 
Your in college, i feel like if your not expericencing college as a time to live with other people your age, and learn to be responsable and idependent before you have a full time job then your missing out. Im guessing you go to school close to home, it might seem stupid but just moving across town where you wont see your parents every day, will make it better. Then when you stop in its almost always on good terms. You also sound like you have a crazy controling mom so idk how well that would work.
 
have you done something to spurr this lack of trust. if you havent, its time for you to stop letting your mom harass you, and if moving out is what it takes do it. saying this would go out of their way to stop you, it would break her heart, etc, etc. those are just excuses. if that shit doesnt stop you need a change of scenery. life will be drastically different, but believe me, but personal freedom from you parents is a complete necessity for your situation.
 
the last thing you probably want to hear is a dr. phil response. but maybe try to see whats bugging her, theres probably more to it than a wallet etc. if you see things from her perspective than you can better help her to understand yours
 
the only thing I've been doing is being myself, and for my mother that's not good because she had plans and goals for me that I don't always agree with. the thing is, both of my parents had shitty lives and theyre putting the ownus on me, I am the supporter of their dreams and it's such a big burden. if i fail, it'll be like theyve failed again. they can't grasp the idea that my happiness is all that they should look out for, not theirs. it should be that if i am happy, they are happy. but i have to constantly prove to them that i am the child they want and i am going to grow up to be what they wanted to be. it isn't fair to have someone living through you, it's such a hollow feeling. whenever i do something i like to do, it all of a sudden becomes pointless if it doesn't have to do with school or work. i always feel inadequate and low because i have a different mindest than that of my mother. i've tried talking to her time and time again, it just doesn't change anything.
 
tell your mom to fuck off, you can't have that much love for someone that constantly puts you down, even if its your own mother you still need to stand up for yourself
 
and you shouldn't care about your parents goals for you because in the end you have to do what makes you happy, not them. And if they "fail" again who cares? You have to do what is right for you, no one should be able to influence what you really want and right now your letting your parents get to you, tell them its your life and they should be happy with what your doing with it
 
obviously there's some kind of problem in the way your mom's thinking, not saying she has a mental problem. but it seems like she wanted to go to university and do all this shit when she was your age but couldn't, and now she wants to see you do all shit but she's dissappointed. just tell her to chill out and if she ever does anything crazy again, just say this house is a stressful environment and if you don't cool your shit i'm moving.
 
sit down and talk with her. Or call her out. Ionno if you've tried that before but sometimes that shit works. And if it doesnt, talk to your dad about it.
 
tell her straight up. " im not you so please dont try to turn me into you. life is a learning experience and if you dont let me experience that, then how will i ever be able to better myself. " and moving out would be a good idea too. it doesnt have to be far, just out of the house. it would be better for the both of you. you will still be around and your mother will learn to let you go. are you an only child? she sounds like you are still her baby and is not ready to let you go yet.
 
my mom got pretty bad for a while and still is at times, i can never party etc... but what i did is that i wouldnt do the things she wanted me doing just small things such as chores every weekend, no skating on weekdays when i have school, no hanging out much on weekdays, come home at 4 on weekends etc i had to prove her its my life and i do what i want and im mature enough to know what my responsibilities are and i can take care of school still having fun and doing what i want as long as it doesnt affect my grades, this really helped and im still debating wether or not to move out wheen im 18 but try to talk it over at 1st if not drastic changes are definitely needed, i used to tell my mom how i couldnt wait to move out and not have to see her everyday (i know its harsh but thats what it took to ease her up a bit) talked to her about the posibility of me moving out to another state etc.. she still thinks im a walking phail and im nto gonna be "sombody" in life, she tells me everyday how everyone in our family is succcesful and im not going anywhere in life but i dont let htat get to me much i jsut wanna be happy with whatever lfie brings. good luck with your mom i definitely know how that goes
 
my mom does some of those same things, but lately she's been pretty chill. but, she doesnt think i go to class (which i actually do now..), and she freaks out if i dont do my homework 3 days before its due.

i'd say you should talk to her and tell her that its your life and you're not the same person she is or something like that. that sucks though, i'm sorry
 
Oh i've got something for your jerk off mom to suck on. It's eight inches long and hangs between my legs everyday...

it's a 357 magnum

 
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