TRASHING 5-Star Banff springs hotel room

S

skipimp_

Active member
Hey gang

well, Im coming to you from Zgengs Internet cafe in

Calgary AB. Still livin, enjoyin life. Got another

story. It's a classic.

Just got back from Banff yesterday, we stayed at the

Banff Springs Hotel for 3 days. Five star, Fairmont

hotel. Fuckin nice shit. we (Me, Aric, John, Sofie,

Sofie's brother) got our own room and we were lovin

it. We climbed straight up the mountain in Banff,

needlessly risking our lives numerous times. climbing

300ft cliffs, almost vertical, covered in snow, in

running shoes and one glove each. I'll send some pics

later. We get back to the hotel, disconnect the smoke

detector, and smoke ourselves stupid, drinkin all

sorts of booze. john unloads the climbing bag, and

theres a bunch of mushy bananas in the bag. So, being

young, dumb, and full of....fun, he throws it into the

ceiling fan.

Fucking banana everywhere.

Then Aric throws it in.

Fucking banana on the walls.

Sofies brother throws it.

Fucking Banana all over the ceiling.

I throw it.

Fucking banana all over the carpet.

Sofie throws it.

Fucking banana on the beds.

Everyones throwin bananas.

It's fucking all over everyones clothes.

We decide to stick crackers on top of the blobs on the

wall. Crackers on the wall.

Shit's goin to hell, cracker fights, apples smashing

on the wall, busted bananas all over the floor. This

five star hotel room is a fucking fruit salad.

Someone throws banana. i throw some banana. IM HIT!

AARRGGHHH, go to the bathroom, cleaning off. Someone

behind me. duck. Fucking banana all over the mirror,

and the floor. Walk out of the room. Aric is throwing

knives into the wall. He stabs two five dollar bills

to the wall. Sets them on fire. The wall is on fire.

This is a 700$/night room. John pours liquor on the

table. I make fun of him with a bottle of vodka. The

cap is missing. I pour vodka all over the floor. shit.

I lie down. All of a sudden Im attacked with a pen,

fighting with aric, theres pen all over. it's a

weapon, cutting. Testing survival instincts. it's

over.Look at the wall. Huge black marks all over it.

they're not comin off. ok, we gotta get outta this

room. We venture out into the hotel, walkin around,

opening doors, exploring. Go in the back corridors,

take bellboy elevators down, take a fire escape, run

across the courtyard, hop a fence or two, here's the

saltwater pool thats steaming in the cool night. It's

so inviting. Strip down and jump in. aaahhhhhhhhhh,

this is the shit.......We decide to find the hot tub.

Aric the Nude leads the way. no shoes, naked guys and

girl, we hop over a spiked iron fence. Turn a corner.

3 feet away, inside the glass, security. Aric is buck

ass naked. RUN NAKED MAN RUN!!!

jet to the pool, then get dressed and venture back.

see a japanese restaurant, door's open. go in. Theres

a huge japanese banner, 20 feet long, 3 feet wide. I

have to have it. Pull it down, its mine. Runnin down

the halls, I lose my towel. fix it. Lose it again,

fuck it. Back to the room. holy shit, someone broke

into our room and flung banana all over the walls.

What the fuck, I knew we should have locked the doors.

Pass the fuck out. Get up, pile into civic...yes

another one....and go to lake louise. Ski the sickest

shit Ive ever skied. Droppin cliffs into deep ass pow.

This is what livin is all about. for real. Go back,

chill out, pack up, go home. Get a call this morning.

Sofie's mom is being charged 800$ on her card for the

mess. Shit. 'ARIC!' I yell, 'We gotta go to the bank!'

and now im here, writing this.

I love life.

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
dude, you type too much! I'm waaaay too lazy to read all that, so I'll go with the universal resopnse.

For real? So cool bro!!!

This post was brought to you by me, Jeff Meeker.

____________________________________________________________

Dave Likes Kittens.

Undercover skier, and nuclear technician of the Silent Army!

::Viva La Ressistance::
 
that's why you don't fuck up hotels that make you leave a credit card! trash a shitty motel and pay for it the night before!

Viva la Resistance!

Storm Trooper of the Silent Army

Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis!
 
your a god skipimp, u have the shibbiest life experiences ever

-----------------

Alex

Guerilla Trooper of the Silent Army

::Viva la Resistance!::

 
'hahaha meeker, go back and read that shit! entertainng to the last drop! ghahahaha, well written, hahahah holy fuckin shit!!!!!!!hahahahahah'-NY Times

'Un-fuckin-believable'-L.A. Herald

Commander of the Silent Army

Viva La Resistance!

I got so battered last night that I had to send my clients around the corner so I could run behind a tree to be sick. Unfortunately I fell into a snow hole under a pine tree and the impact of falling into an eight foot deep trench made me vomit on myself-love Bawbsy....
 
AH HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

THAT IS GOOOOOOLD!!! HAHAHAHAHA, love it!!!

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

#Cut the Jibba Jabb Crazy Fools! Start Skiing!#

*Be greatful, everyday, for snow, mountains, gravity and skiing*

@Talent Is Important, But Image Is God!@

 
sounds like a blast..wish i could've been there to see :)

****************************************

how did canada get its name? they drew letters out of a hat..

C-eh-N-eh-D-eh
 
haha, fucking Motley Crue probibly couldn't have trashed a room better. hoever there was no shit on the walls was there.

 
atta boy, fuck the springs and fuck everyone who thinks they are remotely cool for working there, fuck em all.

______

'You're old enough to know that you won't get a lot of things in life because you don't have tits' - One of the 1/4 pipe builders at snowjam winnipeg to a couple young boys in response to why we'd let 3 girls on the ramp and not them

Don't think just jump.

 
amazing! that story is so chill.. you should turn it into a movie

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

'What time is it?.. Saturday?
 
HAHAHAHAH!AHHHHHHAHAHAAH!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

~572nd Member of Newschoolers.com

'if you were doing one of them doggystyle and she flexed her butt cheeks, your dick would get ripped off.'

~Alpentalik on the subject of Serena and Venus Williams

'dave pauls has a baby sized wang so he gets baby sized tang'

~Casper

 
crackers and banana are the shit

but fuck you were in a hotel and you didnt throw anything out the window.

first thing i do in a hotel is grab the matress and toss that fucker out the window lol

 
yeah man that was friggin hillarious, youre like my idol skipimp, i stayed at that hotel but i didnt pull any crazy shit like that, that mustve been so sweet

--------------------

Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

 
at the WSI big air i was watching from the big hotel directly across from the jump and they had free redbull and vodka and free beer because it was an orage party. me and a buddy got so fucked up we tried to set the fire sprinklers off by lighting them on fire so we could start an unofficial wet t shirt contest as i was putting the lighter to the sprinkler i was kicked in the back of the head by some guy sitting on the counter and then got effectivly kicked out of the building that is my hotel story

AMA-RIP
 
not bad wiener

Wow, im like 6 peoples' idol. sweet. Yeah, life is full of wickid shit there to be plucked. Im no one special, I just like stories. Money? whats monbey? the only thing worthwhile buying with money is memories man. fucking memories.

Ill get you guys with another story soon enough..I got enough material now, but I need some more. just to let you know, I post all my stories in My Last Thread. But not many people read them, so Im making each one a thread now. but check out that thread for all of em.

peace

hey, if you ever wanna hit up the rockies for a weekend or shit, lemme know

blunt1212@yahoo.com

(403) 273-8704

my name's shawn by the way

lates

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
it's 403 440 0419

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

LICK MORE MOOSE!!!!

GROW MORE TREES!!!!!!

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
 
sounds like a hell of a trip ski pimp.

SKIING IS LIFE...the rest is just details.

eat/sleep/drink/drink some more/ski
 
hrm well speaking from a maids point of view (since ive been a maid in nice hotels before)people who trash the rooms just look like assholes. its not that cool really. and its pretty damn pointless. i mean...if you are staying at a crap hotel..that stuff is expected...but super nice hotels...people at least expect you to have some class.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up

So now I have to chop you up, chop you up

And I'll just wait till I get caught...

 
class?......like school?

it's ok, apparently the guy who had to clean our room was an asshole.

yeah Im in calgary....at Mount Royal

skisnuffer is gonna be here soon too.

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

LICK MORE MOOSE!!!!

GROW MORE TREES!!!!!!

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
 
One day skipimp is going to write a shitty ass story and no one is going to comment, everyone will continue with the idol stuff and how that was awesome...but until then nice

------------------------------------------------------------

Word Up To Canada
 
oh the day for shitty ass stories is fast approaching.....

i dunno...maybe not....

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

LICK MORE MOOSE!!!!

GROW MORE TREES!!!!!!

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
 
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