Tough decision.

ggfski42

ggfski42

Member
Ill try to keep this short as possible. I am from a small town in Illinois, a few years ago i left home for a better life and settled in the mountains here in CO. I love it here, it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. But now I am faced with a dilemma. I have a slightly older brother who still lives back home and we are very close. Just found out that he has a serious substance abuse and gambling problem. he told our Mom he sold everything he owned for cash and he's scared of what he might do next to get more money. The guy obviously needs help, and he has no one to turn to except me now because he has no more friends and our mom wont help him at all. I guess my question is, would it be stupid for me to move back home and try to help him through this? Or do I need to get on with my own life? What's a guy to do NS?

 
As shitty as it sounds you have to put yourself first, at least to some degree. If you have the resources to help, then do it. If you don't have the resources and you take him in regardless, my guess is that you'll drag down your own life more than you'll end up helping with his, and your family as a whole will be in worse shape for you having done so.
 
Is there any way to get him in to rehab? I feel like if he's that worried about what he might do next professional help might not be a bad idea. How much you want to help him might also depend on how many bridges he's burned in the past though.

I have some cousins who had a rough go, and two of them got good girlfriends and smartened up, the other two resent their family and parents and take no responsibility for what they do. Its tough because they become not likeable and you stop wanting to help them because they reject you.

Anyway, I hope you figure something out. I would say take him on or at least be there for him if he's really trying to clean up his act, but if he's not ready to take responsibility for what he's doing it might be harder than you expect. Try and talk your parent's into helping too if thats what you decide to do. You may make a better case than your brother. Good luck, hope you make a good call.
 
Yeah i'm pretty sure that's the plan, he needs professional help for sure. I talked to my aunt this morning and apparently my dad and her are going to help. He's owned up to what he has done and it sounds like he want's to fix it. He has a complicated history and I feel like with no real support there is no way he can succeed.
 
dude it's your fucking brother...family comes first is my opinion, I'd try to get him to CO with you so you don't ruin your life trying to help his, but if you can't afford that then I guess it's up to you to judge if he can get out of this without you being physically close (i'm guessing you guys talk on the phone right?) or not. Maybe you can go over there for a short period of time, and try to figure out the best thing to do?
 
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