those effing squirrels.

ductapeboy

ductapeboy

Active member
so yea the little bastard came in the house again this morning.... he was chillen on the couch so we yelled at him and he dodged his furry little ass under it. so we had to open it to get hime out..... yep

its not nearly as bad as the time we woke up and the bastard was on staceys bedside table.... on the oposite side of the bed as the door.... now that was fucked... we yelled and shit... but he just hid under the bed... like what a way to wake up eh?

anyone else have any stories of the evil squirrels?

Dave Pauls

www.corbettsskishop.com

I like dead kittens.
 
no, but i have a few sad stories. Just yesterday i was driving, and the car in the opposite lane hit a squirrel, the poor lil guy was dragging himself outta the road using only his front legs. his back legs had been squashed, and his lil tail was flickerin around. it was sad. And there is a squirrel in our backyard whose name is Peter Hopskins. he is normal, except that he has a white tail. like, bleach white, not just lighter than the rest of him.

CUSTOM hats and headbands for sale. Earflaps, strings, visors, lil pom pom thingers, borders. PM me.
 
When I was younger I couldn't talk right, so when I told my neighbors there was a 'dead sgirl' in the road they freaked out. I meant squirrel. Other than that the basterds always used to come down our chimney and die.

'No its okay, I'm shaved' White Women

'I heard of Trimin the hedges, but you done scorched the earth..' Dave Chapelle.

patj
 
there is this one grey motherfucker what wakes me up everyonce in a while

hell yell like its the end of the world. i threw a rock at it

______________________

Heh
 
ive had a few squirrels in the house but the cat gets them before i do. you gotta get a cat.

i was going to go for a quad daffy but i was like, why huck? -mommy
 
my freinds cat kills ones like 2/3 it size and leves them on the patio

Chris Knight : So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.

Susan : Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight : Not right now.

Susan : A girl's gotta have her standards.

'Those things look like they have been stuck in the vaginal cannel for 3 years'

- My ecnomics teacher
 
my friend found this little injured, abandoined baby squirrel outside the dorm last year and brought it in and kept it in this cage he made out of a stolen laundry cart... the squirrel would chill with us and climb around and shit... he seemed totally tamed... it was fucking awesome, we had a pet squirrel for like a week... then the resident counselor lady found out and made him get rid of it. it was gay.

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

i love watching people get nutted. i hate seeing naked fat people getting the box munched - BallinBU

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Basically, you have to fly planes into buildings before anyone listens to you these days. - Jib_This
 
^sweet. Even better would be having a Flying squierrel. You could like put him on high things and have him launch.

 
we fed them outta our hands cause they where used to people, then we threw them into the campfire just after we bit their lil heads off.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
me and my mom got chased by a rabid squirrel... it got mad when i was poking it with a stick. Then it stayed on the porch for like 3 hours waiting for my mom to come out.

_______________________________________

do not speak unless you can improve the silence
 
i hate squirrels, i had to ( block your ears animal lovers) kill 3 the other day in my shed cus they tear up everything...there annoying as hell.

 
i'll kill u in a shed. see how u like it. thats sad. oh well.

CUSTOM hats and headbands for sale. Earflaps, strings, visors, lil pom pom thingers, borders. PM me.
 
my cat kills all these rabbits at my house by drowning them in our pnd. ITs a sadistic bitch. IT also can take squirells and stuff. I tried to go against a racoon but lost.

MHmh
 
^ when my granpa's cat had kittens he would put them in a wooden box with a hole in it and attach the box to the muffler of a truck. yup no nutering back then.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
damn that squirrel. im glad i was not home to see him this morning. i do not like him. at least he hasnt come in our room door again. that was NOT a nice way to wake up. i screamed like a sissy.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up

So now I have to chop you up, chop you up

And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

 
This guy i know cuts lawns to get some money, and he was cutting this one guys lawn and in the shed there were about 6 squirls and they all jumped out at him, so he hit them with a rake and killed them cause he thought they were rabbid... but really the guy was feeding them and they thought that he had food.... he never cut that lawn again.

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*
 
Squirrels live in my house too. They run around in the ceilings and shit, those motherfuckers. But when they go outside my dad and I shoot them with the .22 so they don't party any longer.

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth

What's with all the hate?

 
congratulations

____________________________________

-Harrison

SSK PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: MOTION (LARRY HODGEDON) IM ME FOR MORE INFO

You are a total asshole. Tripping a pregnant girl is not okay.

-eastcoastpride
 
a bat lived behind my curtain for two days. at night he would come out and run into the ceiling and lamps and shit, we finally got him out... and a squirrel came in last year, the little basterd barracaded himself in our pantry... then he ran into my neighbors dog... and the dog chased him out

4FRNT.

High Society.

Enom Headwear.

Sidewinder Sports.

I live above a star, yet i dont burn, i have 11 neighbors yet none of them turn. My initials are PRS, what am I?

'god invented alcohol so the irish wouldn't take over the world'
 
HAHAHAHAHA, THAT IS THE FUNNIEST ICON I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!

____________________________________

-Harrison

SSK PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: MOTION (LARRY HODGEDON) IM ME FOR MORE INFO

You are a total asshole. Tripping a pregnant girl is not okay.

-eastcoastpride
 
Has this happened to anyone else? My gutters are too wide, squirrels squirm in, get stuck, rattle for like a full week trying to get out, then die of starvation. I forget about it and when I empty the gutters at fall I was fucking scared when the decomposed body washed out...

That was one of (if not the most) disgusting thing I ever saw, a humid, famished, half-decomposed squirrel body swarming with ants.

**********

'Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.'

'I understand small business growth. I was one'

-Dubya!
 
once a squirrel went into a room in the hotel I work at and ate a whole bag of trail mix. Another time a bat flew in my house and my mom saw it fly into the bathroom in the middle of the night so she just shut the bathroom door. I ended up having a shower with a bat that morning because I didn't know it was there until I saw it hanging from the faucet when I turned the water off.

'When I go skiing on Thursday, I'm gonna grab my skis! Grabbing didn't even EXIST the last time I skied!' - a snowboarder co-worker who is going skiing on Thursday.
 
^ thats creepy. bats are cute and all...but still creepy. sneaky little guys.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up

So now I have to chop you up, chop you up

And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

 
Once i came home to see a big mess all over my dinning room table and then look up and on the mantle sat a fat squirrel. So i try chasing it away, doesnt work just stays in the house. So i go to get my friend and he brings his BB gun. The squirrel was now in the family room near my computer, so I'm like 'NO IF YOU SHOOT YOU'LL HIT MY COMPUTER!' so I run up and the squirrel runs to a mantle piece on the wall of the family room. My friend shoots it twice with the BB gun and the thing goes CRAZZY!! It comes running at me I kicked it and realised, OH SHIT maybe i should open the door. So the squirrel hides under the couch and I open the door. It doesnt move. So i take the BB gun shoot it in the tail, thing goes crazy and finally out the door. The most odd thing was, was it was still alive after being shot 3 times, it must of been taking lessons from 50 CENT YO DOG

- LM Productions -

CCRider

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice got stuck in my nose

u kno im ghetto
 
yeah i found an injured little squirrel and kept it as a pet until this chick that i had found it with gave it to the audobon society because she thought there was something wrong with its leg, i was pissed

--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
 
i thought i was eating them when i downed 15 shots of tequila in 20 minutes no one believed me that i was eating them but i seemed to think i really was then i dissapeared for a while and no one knew where i was until i came screaming back in the house asking me what was wrong and i told them i got a raped by a cop and he slit my asshole open with a razorblade and fucked me even harder

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
When I went to this camp thing in 6th grade we woke up to see that squirrels got into our cabin and stayed in there until the morning. Probably because it snowed that night.

 
I was on the T (subway/train) yesterday, and I looked out ther window at a stop, and there was a squirrel tail sitting on the tracks. No squirrel, just his tail. Strange.

Teddy

WWTJSD?
 
^^^bahahahaha an instant sig. classic stef

'i thought i was eating them when i downed 15 shots of tequila in 20 minutes no one believed me that i was eating them but i seemed to think i really was then i dissapeared for a while and no one knew where i was until i came screaming back in the house asking me what was wrong and i told them i got a raped by a cop and he slit my asshole open with a razorblade and fucked me even harder'

-lateralis

 
i have a wierd mind when im hammered

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
you have a werid mind 24/7!!!

/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
 
one day we came home and our cat had a hole on the side of his face. he is an indoor cat too. we took him to the vet and they said it was a bite. we think a squirrel came out a small ceiling hole which was made by the squirrel. the ceiling is like 20 feet high probably. and came down and bit him. we dont know where he went though. that lil bastard

Take me to your special place,

Close your eyes show me your face............I'm gonna piss on it

 
i used to have these skwirls in the yard causin a fuss all he time. it was worse though. i fuckin hate birds getting loud, especially when it wakes me up. there was a woodpecker that used to sit right outside my window for like a month. i threw shit at him and all, but he would be back the next day

 
I used to have a bunch of squirrels in the backyard but then my cat caught and killed most of them. The others ran away

JIBARITO

(its actually a restaurant in Peurto Rico)

Guitaring for life

 
so i woke up this morning to the squirrel again. this time the bastard was ON MY FACE. i woke up with something soft and fuzzy brushing against my mouth, and stacey yelling something... so i open my eyes in time to see a squirrel runnig accross the bed and out the door. so i said 'fucking squirrel' and went back to sleep. it was scarey.

Dave Pauls

www.corbettsskishop.com

I like dead kittens.
 
MAN! you really need to do sumthin about yer squirrel situation. do you have any cats? you oh well, if i were you i would just befriend the little bugger, and teach him how to steal and shit. he's be yer lil buddy and very profitable if taught to steal right.

CUSTOM hats and headbands for sale. Earflaps, strings, visors, lil pom pom thingers, borders. PM me.
 
when i was younger, this old guy i used to do yardwork would pay me 50 cents for every squirrel i shot(.22) in his backyard that tried to get into his birdfeeders

girls poo, but they are giftwrapped, have a little bow on them, and smell like cinnimon and vanilla

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

 
thats radly awesome!

_____________________

There is a man, A certain man, And for the poll you may be sure that hell do all he can, who is this one whos favorite sign just by his action has attraction magnets on the run, who likes to smoke, enjoys a joke and wouldnt get a bit upset if he were really broke with wealth and fame hes still the same i bet you five if not alive that you dont know his name.

**NWFT**

_____________________
 
it was, good times good times

girls poo, but they are giftwrapped, have a little bow on them, and smell like cinnimon and vanilla

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

 
man....haha 'FUCKING SQUIRRELL' haha man thats funny....alotta people down here in hickville indiana go squirrel hunting like religeously

hazel
 
^im in indiana right now

girls poo, but they are giftwrapped, have a little bow on them, and smell like cinnimon and vanilla

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

 
you can get western grey squirrel tags in oregon. im not sure when the season is and where the hunting grounds are.

_____________________

There is a man, A certain man, And for the poll you may be sure that hell do all he can, who is this one whos favorite sign just by his action has attraction magnets on the run, who likes to smoke, enjoys a joke and wouldnt get a bit upset if he were really broke with wealth and fame hes still the same i bet you five if not alive that you dont know his name.

**NWFT**

_____________________
 
and yet again today the squirrel was just chilling on our couch....at least it wasnt on our heads this time i guess. damn squirrels.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up

So now I have to chop you up, chop you up

And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

 
tame it and have a pet squirrel pet squirrels are so cool

--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
 
The squirrels are cool here in ATL, but I hate the evil squirrels in Michigan. They all need to die.

Anyways, this guy that worked for my dad had to go put some trash in a dumpster. When he opened it, a racoon jumped out of it and scared the shit out of him. Still to this day, he shudders at the word racoon, and won't go within 50 feet of that dumpster.

 
When I was in 8th grade we had masses of starlings that would come to our bird feeders and chase all the other birds away. My parents being bird lovers that they are wanted to get rid of the starlings to get the others back so hey would have my brother and me sit at their bedroom window and shoot starlings with a BB gun. Well one day there weren't many starlings left, but there was a squirrel. Me being the smart kid that I was and not noticing the piece of wood jammed in the site, didn't realize the site didn't work so when I tried to shoot the squirrel I shot a hole in my neighbors house.

Join me in Whistler from June 20-26... it's gonna kick! :)

 
remember rocko's modern life? filbert had a squirrel infestation in his shell. he got rid of them with a squirrel grenade. it was awesome.

...............................................................................................

-steve

[i treat each day like its game seven in overtime.

born to shine at home and over border lines.]
 
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