Things you did wen you were younger that you never knew you werent supposed to do

i went around door to door flipping everyone off

and not that your not supposed to do this i used to kiss my best friend on the cheek and stuff when i was like 5 (sasdly, he was a guy

no homo
 


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Around the age of 4 I was a straight up kleptomaniac. Anything that I saw in a store I'd jack. I'd shove them in to my suspenders and then act completely innocent.

The first time I met my next door neighbor's kid I threw a cue ball at his face and cracked his nose.

I bit a few kids when they pissed me off, punched my kindergarten teacher in the jaw etc.

And to top it all off, whenever I had to take a shit I would crawl behind my couch and drop a deuce. My parents started recognizing the warning signs when I'd disappear for longer than 5 minutes in my TV room.
 
Oh. My. God. I absolutely died reading that. This whole thread made my day though.

As for me, can't remember too much right now. Though I used to call my brother Omi. His name is Chris. I also decided to stick my leg out when he was running across the hardwood floor and tripped him. His two front teeth came out and slid across the floor like chicklets.

Oh, my brother and I cut down trees in our neighbours yard. Just two of them, but they were pretty thick, probably 6-8 inches at the trunk. Then we took our axes and hatchets and chopped every single spoke on their bike. This was at the place we used go to our summer cabin. After that we were not welcome back.

 
um let me think........

my friend and i were wresteling and i kicked him in the ass and broke his tail bone in 4 places

this kid was the first to fall asleep so i put my balls in his mouth

broke a kids nose

and when i played baseball a kid on the other team and i got in a fight so i clubed him over the head with a bat
 
throwing pudding throwing stick in the street taking the neighbors letters saying you big horses ask uncle mels tv remote stair injury

When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to see what it would be like if I threw chocolate pudding over the table in the cafeteria. So I flicked pudding over the table with my plastic spoon. Needless to say, my parents got a call from my teacher, Mrs. Deach, after they saw a big glob of pudding on the ground.

When I was 3 or 4, I thought it would be a great idea to throw a huge stick in the street. I dont know why but I thought I would run right after I threw it. So I threw it and turned around and somehow, it was perfect timing and this guy in a red convertible got hit by the stick when it came down. He stopped the car and started yelling and I ran inside.

When I was around 3 again, I was really jealous that my parents got letters in the mail and I didn't. So one day I ran to the mailbox after school, stole all the mail and ran up to my room and opened all the mail. Little did I know, the mailman had made a mistake and I had opened my neighbors mail. I had to go over to their house and explain everything to them.

Around 3 again. I was at my Uncle's house in Florida and I wanted to watch thomas the tank engine and he wanted to watch CNN, so he turned the channel from Thomas the tank engine to CNN and set the remote on the table. I was so fuckin pissed. I stole the remote, turned it back. Then I decided he wasn't going to be able to turn it back to CNN if I threw the remote across the room behind the tv. So I threw it and he got soo pissed cause it was like this $100 remote. Then he went up to the tv and changed it manually to CNN. Fucking gay punishiment.

I didnt know the word ass when I was young, and there's a part in home alone 2 when kevin says something like you big horses' ass. I thought it was big horses ask. So one day I said it at daycare while my parents were at church and one of the ladys there was so appalled that a 3 year old said ass, and she said dont say that, and I thought she meant horse, so I didnt say horse for like 4 weeks.

I always called crayons crowns and I still insist on callin them crowns

 
i basically pissed wherever i wanted to or felt like it, didnt matter the place or who was around. on the carpet under my bed, behind the family room chair, and in the middle of the front yard facing the road were a few of my favorites. that came to a quick halt when my grandmother saw me drop trow and wiz behind aforementioned chair and whooped my ass

fuck i really miss those days
 
uhhhh,
i was a badass

so this one time this chick pushes me so i grab her by the throat and smash her head into a tree,

in 5th grade this kid tripped me and i fell on him, my hands landed around his throat and he kicks me in the chest, i held onto his throat and rebounded landing on his chest, i then proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

we found army men so we set em on fire in the bathroom of the christian school i was at, the principal wasnt ok with this.

uhhh, my dad was smoking so i went up and punched him.

my mom was being a bitch so i went to my room and didnt come out for like a week while she was home

i saw braveheart and i was like 4 and i weent up to my mom and was like ima fucking kick your fuckin as you fuckin fucker haha, i had no idea what i was saying
 
my friend did that........last year, he's 16, he had poison ivy all over the inside of his asshole and on his guch and all over his balls and everything, i laughed so hard when he told me
 
hahaha i was cleaning the bathroom at the store i work at and my manager was in there and he asked me "if i was to take a shit in the urinal would you clean it up?" haha
 
when i peed in pools, i was like 7 my dad was in the deep end i was in the shallow end i screamed across the pool:

"Dad can i pee in this pool like last time?"

 
at a public pool with a deep end like 12 feet deep i was like 8 years old and my brothers friends said there was a bouncy ball at the bottom of the deep end so i dive in and go after it and when i brought it up it turned out it was some one elses fucking shit. no joke the little kid shit in our public pool and i was the chosen one to pick it up....damnit
 
when my bro would piss me off, id take his toothbrush and rub it on the toilet

i used to say poon alot

if some kid had gum or candy or somethin at school, id wait until recess and then sneak in the classroom and take some...

i still do this, but i used to take aqua-dumps alot.... and this one time i got caught in the act by my dad's boss while out on the lake at this big company picnic thing. talk about an awkward conversation between me n my dad...

 
i ran around the house naked in front of my older sisters friends until i was like 8... but truth is i just wanted to show them my package ;)
 
when I was 3 1/2 years old, right before my brother was born my aunt bought a lifelike baby doll for my mom to give to me so I could learn how to be compassionate with a newborn in the family, and get used to helping to take care of him and all that. So she thought I would be compassionate or whatever, and I guess they walked in the living room 10 minutes after giving me the baby doll and found me throwing it against the walls and kicking it around hahaha, needless to say my aunt couldn't believe her eyes and was not happy.

another time I guess we had like huge collection of stuffed animals from all the gifts or whatever after my brother was born, and one night my dad walked in on my throwing like a hundred of the stuffed animals in my brothers crib, apparently I was trying to hide him so I would get more attention hah but his crib was totally filled with the toys and he was under all of them
 
-when i was about 5 i thought it would be funny to open the car door going about 100 km/h on the high way

-drop a rock on my sisters head

-at recess we made a sweet sand fort but other kids kept kicking it down so in the wall we put rocks in the wall so when they kicked it again they ended up breaking their toes (grade3)

-left the car door open a over night so it wouldnt start in the morning

 
when i was little i was grounded and locked in my room...i was so enraged by this that i took a clothes hanger, untwisted it so it was 1 long wire, wrapped it around my teddy bear's neck, and shoved the 2 ends into an electrical outlet....it actually blew the teddy bear's head clean off and it started my rug on fire....it was fucking insane! i dont fuck with electicity anymore.
 
-when i was little and taking a nap in my crib i was like 1 year old my sister came into the room and dropped/threw onions and potatos at my face

-it was at my public school and i was in kindergarden and my mom came to pic me up after school and the teachers were haveing a meeting, so i went and pulled the fire alarm, everyone freaked out and firefighters had to come

 
srry i posted it by accident

- you guys are talking about sleeping back down the stair i went in one of the big rubbermaid bins, my sister pushed me and i ended up crahing into the wall

- i was like 4 and i stuck dry spaghetti noodles up my nose to be like pumba from lionking, then ended up snapping and we couldnt get them out my nose bled for like and hour until my dad got home and could help me.

- i was in the bath tub (maybe 3 years old) and i had to go so i let it go and a log of poowas floating around the bath tub

 
Called 911 and told them someone stole my cheeseburger when i was like 4.

About 4,Was at my friends hosue and took a poop on his deck then his mom said im calling your mom and i told her to suck it. like that one guy did on wwf .then she called my house and i told her to go eat my poop.
 
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