Things you did wen you were younger that you never knew you werent supposed to do

i had some dinosaur fettish when i was around 4 too and i used to dig up the lawn looking for fossils....actually i think thats why my parents grounded my for my previous story
 
when i was 3 i had the little people play set, with came with a washroom complete with a little toilet, well being 3 years old i got the bright idea of using this 2 inch tall toilet to see if it was the real deal
 
ok i got a few

wen i was a kid i would ding dong ditch houses, but not run away so when they came out i just laughed at them THEN ran away

This is a true story NO LIE. When i was a kid i heard this song that was a spoof of that song allstar, but it was called porn star(it was by weird al) but i thought a porn star was someone who knew alot about computers, so i wrote a story for my 1st grade class titled Porn Star, and it was about the quests of this "porn star"

o and one time after a hockey game all of the stalls were full, so i just took a piss in the sink.
 
i was smart when i was younger.

i locked my mom in the basement of our old house using plywood and i stuck it under the knob. my mom tried to call to my neighbors for help but they didnt want ot break the door down and my sister had gone to church. so when she came back she had to climb through the bathroom window and nearly fell into the toilet.

man when my mom told me that i cracked up cause i clrealy dont remember it.
 
when i was younger i hide under my deck for about 2 or 3 hours and mom and dad called the police because they couldnt find me , it was all because i wanted to stay out latter.
 
oh my god i just looked at one of my baby pictures and i saw a pic of me and my brother butt naked running around my neighbors front lawn hahahahaha
 
Drive my moms car, when i was like 4, i put my moms car in reverse, pressed the pedal with my hand, backed down the drive way, and proceeded to take out our electricians car door.
 
my dad locked me in my room and i was on the first floor by the poorch and opened my window and cut a giant hole in it then snuck out the window and walked in the front door. hahaha he got mad cus the window got messed up.

and i had really bad speech problems, our neighboor was a lifeguard and i ment to say you swim like a fish to her but i sounded like, you swim like a bitch. yeah i said a lot of bad words on accident, oops.
 
Alright, well one time when I was probably 5 or 6, this kid that lived across the street from me, Grant...called my dad a wimp, so I told him his dad was a butthead, to which he ran across the street and told his dad what I had said, anyway we ended up arguing about it a wrestling on the ground, and I already hated this kid cause he was a bastard and he would always steal my toy guns and shit, so I got him down and stood up over him, and like stomped on his nuts repeatedly, we never did get along quite the same after that.
 
uh at a sporting event I went to the bathroom and went up to a urinal pulled my pants down to my ankles and peed. My dad laughed
 
once, i guess when i was like 4 we were at a restaurant and bob probert, this big enforcer dude that played for the red wings at the time was waiting in line, and i walked up to him and punched him in the balls
 
my little brother pissed in a toilet that was on display is sears.

and id always get seperated from my mom in gabe's for like 10 mins and then find her and cry because i thought she left.
 
I still pee in sinks and showers... It all goes to the same place in the end.

I used to think the shorthand for condominium was condom and i tried to say something really smart to my mom about how condoms were a problem in suburbia or something.
 
when in big stores My brother and I would try to pull strangers pants down. we did it a few times. Then we would run away laughing like heelions and hide under my moms shopping cart.
 
i cant think of anything i did. but i remember going over this girls house wen i was like 7 and she made her barbies and beanie babies have sex.
 
i tried to tie a full sized tire swing to my basement ceiling (too hard to explain, but i got it tied up there) then i sat on it and it brought the entire ceiling down. that was about ten years ago, we just got the ceiling replaced this year.
 
when i was little i thought it was hilarious to throw toys from happy meals out of my mom's car window while going like 75 mph. the toys would hit peoples windshields.

when i was little i thought it was alright to shit and pee anywhere in the house

i also thought it was alright to go under womans skirts in public and look up and yell "mom what is that thing" or why is she so fat. haha

i also lied too when i was little. one time in my friends car i told his mom i was born in the bushes outside the hospital because my family was too poor to afford the hospita so i was born in the bushs
 
thats good though, i believe in ,not neccesarily beating, but smacking kids once in a while until they are about 10. i think it helped me a little because im still an asshole to my parents bu i bet id be ten times worse.
 
my family had a biiig jar of change that we filled throughout the year, and every year we used it to go to six flags (which i didnt know). so one day when i was like 6 i decided it was "money day" and i took all the money and ran around our neighborhood and just threw all the money everywhere. apparently, ma and pa weren't a big fan of money day
 
I warned my mom for like 3 days that we were getting low on toilet paper. Sure enough, I took a crap and had no paper. I was pissed so I wiped my ass with her loofa. It was dry and scratchy, but did the job. We never ran out of TP again.

My friend used to brag that he could get his parents minivan up to 50kph in his very short driveway and slam on the brakes in time to stop in the garage. One day he tried for 60 and put the van through the back wall of the garage and into his bro's bedroom.
 
i have two older brothers, and i always thought they were really cool so i would hide and like listen to their conversations to get new "cool" words to say to my friends.

one day my brothers were talking and my oldest bro called this one chick at his school a cunt. (he didnt know i was listening)

so the next day at school samantha shreve took my scissors (that bitch) and i was like "HEY! THOSE ARE MY SCISSORS YOU CUNT!"

mrs seybold damn near shit herself in anger. good times
 
Me and my brother used to wear our helmets just about everywhere. I guess a couple times at the grocery store and various other places people asked my mom if we had some sort of a 'condition'.
 
i sometimes used my moms tampons in my nerf guns and when i would leave my ammo laying around it would be gone the next day cuz my mom would take em back. and i usta play doctor witthis girl when i was 4 and we would peep shit
 
I thought it would be really funny to surprise my mom one day by covering myself in fake blood and pretending to be dead at the bottom of the stairs. she didn't laugh
 
Me and my friend found an ant hill at the park when we were like 8 and we were pissing on it. So my brother comes up (he's 4 at the time) and he thinks it would be funny to top our piss and shit on it. Me and my friend are just sitting there laughing our asses off. So my brother pops a squat and shits all over this thing. It was fucking hilarious, anyway it was pretty wet shit and most of it ended up in the bottom of his pants. My mom had to leave my sisters softball game and come clean my brother up. It was pretty funny.

Another time I was 4 and we were having a celebration in May (may pole and shit), and when everyone went back inside me and my friend (same friend who pissed on the anthill) went and pissed all over the maypole.

Another thing I'm not really proud of is building forts under tables (putting a blanket over the table) at our afterschool program thing. When kids walked by we would yell "doggy want a raisin!!!!" We yelled the same thing when the black janitor walked by and threw raisins at him, he wasn't pleased and my mom was notified.

I've done so much other shit too, I was such a bad kid (now I'm straightened up......pretty much....)
 
when i wass born, there was a huge blizzard going on, and you weren't supposed to drive anywhere, etc. well, when they first took me home, my brother ran up to the house and locked us out.
 
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