Things old skiers say

Hey, I'm Glen Plake

I fucked your mom when she was a snow bunny

We were doing tripples back in the 70's

I used to hang out with Warren Miller

Have you even done LSD while skiing?
 
Man I actually do remember the first time I tried shaped skis.

SO different.

I'd add "I don't like snowboarders, they scrape all the snow off the hill."

 
My dad always says that snowboarders aren't good for anything except for shoving snow off the sides of the trails lol
 
"this whole hill use to be nothing but moguls. then snowboarders came along and all they do is push it to the bottom of the hill!" - old man on the t-bar
 
also "there's a bunch of pieces of metal lying in the middle of the hill"

not to me, but a genuine concern voiced to customer service at my hill
 
People ask why my poles are short. and i dont even have short poles. and says "hesher" when ever i refer to a pro skier
 
haha yes, i took the lift up with a guy last year, asked me if i could do helicopter spins. I replied, you bet, do you still hit up the park? He said, he just turned 80 and can still ski down the hill with one ski over his head. i saw him a few runs later, and sure enough he was skiing down the hill with one ski over his head. I was pretty amazed at the time.
 
- These skis really cut a turn.

- My son's a great skier. He goes off the jumps and has the double edge skis.

- I want something high performance like my rear-entries.

- Crank the bindings up, I don't want them to release. Just make sure you do a binding check.
 
haha, more often little kids than old people, I've had a little girl tell em I smell like a skunk after a safety meeting.

I'll add

"why are your skis so wide? does that help in the moguls?"

"those look like water skis!"

"how long are those skis?"

"you should be wearing a helmet"

"my 219 rossi's sure were fast back in the day"

and I don't know what it is about our mountain, but we get a lot of trashy dads who call us "park rats" out for the dumbest things, and completely out of the blue, like in the lift lines "why do you punks dress like that? you think you're tough or something?" to which I'll usually reply "I'm the best skier on the mountain, I can dress however I want". It usually rustles their jimmies. I'll always give respect when I get it but these old guys feel like they have to look tough in front of their Jersey trash wives or something.
 
This haha. When I showed some too my dad first thing he did was run into the attic and pull out this ad
fulltilts.png
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top