Things not to do at Church?

HomieJon

HomieJon

Member
So my family decided to go to church for Christmas. Normally only my mom and sister go. They forced the rest of the family to go. To spice things up, i brought a fake blond mustache. I put it on when we got in.(looked like a pornstar) Turns out it was disrepectful, and ended up getting yelled at at the end by my mommy, and one of my teachers?

So, What else can't you do in church?
 
Well you can't crack open a can of Coor's.
You also can't afterbang when you recieve the body of christ thats a no-no
 
drink that blood stuff then pretend ur drunk...
or play with magnets
or take money from that plate they hand around
big no-nos
 
lets see...
seckssleepburploud fart (silents are OK as long as they're covert enough)dance to the musiccall the person next to you 'nigga' as you great thembeat itjerk itchoke itstrangle itmasturbateshout 'WORD!' instead of amenheavyhead when you bow your head

Its pronounced GOD not Jah
 
Oh you should have said "Christ had a beard and a mustache and I just wanted to be closer to him on his birthday?
 
Depends what church you go to...some churches are slack and they'll let you do like 80% of the things that have been mentioned haha
 
have sex with your cousinpee in a girls buttpoop all over your girlfriends chest
just a few of many...
 
wow, not only are you a rebel, you are also a martyr to all other 13 year olds out there sticking it to their parents. do you feel cool that you stressed your alliance to the atheist faith by disrespecting your whole family in public at their place of worship?
 
Well everyone's saying no beer or weed...one time I went to church and the priest gave this sermon (speech/lecture) about how god approves of alcohol and that god may have light up once or twice in his day to escape. It was awesome
 
Dont draw little pictures of elephants taking a poop on the pieces of paper in front of the alters. My dad did that once. i laughed
 
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haha friends and i snuck into our church made weed brownies in the oven then ate them at the alter. after that we kneeled and gave thanks.

/end claim
 
make a "peace radar" out of your fingers and yell peace to all while in wednsday mass...boy di i learn in 4th grade
 
Blow bubbles

were a bathrobe naked underneath

read a playboy

snort cocaine of the minester's wifes's ass

last one can get you some serious comunity service time. damn that summer wasn't very exciting.
 
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