The Urban Legend Thread

trevorwoulddoit

trevorwoulddoit

Active member
We've all heard urban legends, from razor blades in Halloween candy apples, to alligators in the New York sewers. They're everywhere in our culture. Even skiing has it's urban legends. The Oakley Osama Pro, Defi Skeez...

I know there are tons out there, local ones, or even famous urban legends.

So this is the Urban Legend Thread. Lets here 'em.

I'll start with a couple.

The Horny Roommate

A student consults a doctor at the campus medical center after experiencing continual soreness in his rectum. The doctor examines the student and diagnoses the cause of the pain as homosexual activity, even though the student swears he's straight and has never engaged in such activity. The student later discovers that his gay roommate has been secretly anesthetizing and sodomizing him at night.

The Flashers

For initiation, prospective gang-members drive around at night with their headlights off, and kill the first person who flashes his lights to warn them.

A personal favorite….

Human's Can Lick Too

Once there was a girl who lived in a small town just south of Farmersburg. Her parents had to go to town for a while, so they left their daughter home alone, but protected by her dog, which was a very large collie. The parents told the girl to lock all the windows and doors after they had left. And at about 8:00pm the parents went to town. So doing what she was told the girl shut and locked every window and every door. But there was one window

in the basement that would not close completely. Trying as best as she could she finally got the window shut, but it would not lock. So she left the window, and went back upstairs. But just to make sure that no one could get in, she put the dead-bolt lock on the basement door.

Then she sat down had some dinner and decided to go to sleep for the night. Settling down to sleep at about 12:00 she snuggled up with the dog and fell asleep.

At one point, she suddenly woke up. She turned and looked at the clock...it was 1:30. She snuggled down again wondering what had woken her, when she heard a noise. It was a dripping sound. She thought that she had left the water running, and now it was dripping into the drain of her sink. So thinking it was no big deal she decided to go back to sleep. But she felt nervous, so she reached her hand over the edge of her bed, and let the dog lick her hand to feel safe, knowing he would protect her. Again at about 2:45 she woke up hearing dripping. She was slightly angry now but went back to sleep anyway. Again she reached down and let the dog lick her hand.

Then she fell back to sleep.

At 3:52 the girl decided that she had had enough...she got up just in time to see her parents were pulling up to the house. 'Good,'she thought. 'Now somebody can fix the sink...'cause I know I didn't leave it running.' She walked to the bathroom and there was the collie dog, skinned and hung up on the

curtain rod. The noise she heard was its blood dripping into a puddle on the floor. The girl screamed and ran to her bedroom to get a weapon, in case someone was still in the house.....and there on the floor, next to her bed she saw a small note, written in blood, saying:

Humans can lick too..

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
thre is one about a guy who takes a massive shit, then lights a match to get rid of the smell. He then drops the match in the toilet, which then explodes because of the cleaning supplys his wife has left there... his nuts get burned.

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*

theres an ilovemen.com? damn. see you guys later -skierdudeguy

violence, in canada? go spew your bullshit on somebody eles\' chest, we dont want that around here.-Mommy
 
Apple stole that from a shoe.

This dude sucked cock in my neighborhood

on the first day of school i wok eup late at my friends house so i was hurrying really fast to get ready and i ran into her bedroom and i tripped over the wheeel on her bed frame and flew forward landing face first into a pile of her dirty thongs-Public_Enenmy0255

RIDEblunt

 
or the infamous girl with a frozen hot dog (or the thawed out but the hot dog breaks version) or the guy nick-named Skippy for their creative use of the peanut butter and a dog and oh so many more

life is too short to have any regrets
 
Yes! The girl with the hotdog one is awesome.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
Here's some:

-Bubble Yum gum is so soft because it contains spider eggs.

-Evian water is filtered in cows blood.

-A group of medical students were bored and so they tried to think of ways of livening things up. Eventually one had the idea of 'borrowing' a human foot from the dissecting laboratory and puttting it in his girlfriend's bed as a joke. She was also a medical student staying at the same hall of residence. The students 'obtained' a human foot, went up to the girl's room and put it in her bed. They thought it would be fun to hear her reactions so they hid round the corner and waited for her to come home.

The student who had the key realised that he had left it in the door. However, before he could remove it the girl arrived back and, not thinking, unlocked the door with the key that was in the lock, took it in with her and locked the door on the other side.

A few moments later they heard her screaming and crying out. They ran to the door and tried to open it but it was locked. They shouted to her that it was alright but she continued screaming hysterically. At this point they decided to break down the door. However, it took them a while and they were relieved when the screaming subsided.

Finally, when thye broke in and turned on the lights, they were horrified at what they found. The girl was sitting in the corner of the room with a glazed expression on her face eating the human foot. The practical joke had backfired and they had driven her mad.

 
^that is freakin messed up dude

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
One more, I found this one to be wicked funny. Personally.

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as 'Bonkistry'. He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final, they had a solid A.

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to UVirginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVa for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. 'Cool' they thought, 'this is going to be easy.' They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said:

(95 points) Which tire?

 
For her hen-night treat, a friend of a friend went with some mates to see one of those raunchy male stripper acts.

ladies were having a riot ogling the hunky fellas' bulging pecs. They were getting all over-excited, shrieking as the gyrating Adonises disrobed.

Apparently, the bride-to-be got a little tipsy and forced her way to the front of the stage to get a better view. Dancing in a frenzy, she was almost overcome when, at the climax of his act, one of the writhing hunks whipped off his shiny G-string and flung it on to her face.

A couple of days later she was checking her complexion in the bathroom mirror when she noticed a spot near her eyelid. This blemish was a little worrying; with the wedding at the weekend she wanted to look her best for the photographs.

Over the next few days, she tried every kind of cream, but the spot just got larger and larger until she was driven to visit the doctor.

The quack took one look, and informed the girl that he'd have to operate immediately: she had a pubic louse living in her face.

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...

BUM LOVING FOR LIFE!

'If i was a slutty white chick id rather have a 14 inch beast in my twat than a 6 inch white man cock' -Lateralis
 
this thread's awesome. that first one scared the shit out of me.

___________________

Kerry/Edwards '04

Coors, the coldest tasting beer in the world
 
The girl going mad story is fucked up...

-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-

 
the one with the girl and the dog and the licking scared the shit out of me when i wzas little.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

16 to a real ugly fat girl but whatever beauty is but a lightswitch away - wiener
 
i thought the tire question on the thes was the best because its very plausible

what happined to drugs, sex, & rock and roll...now adays we have aids crack and techno.......

Guns N' Roses
 
the dog one and the foot one were fucking twisted and scary...Bonk was great

----------------------------------------

I NAMED JIBBERISH BITCHES. (thanks to MikeE)

real stuff is better than stuff on a screen, porn to sex, skiing to ns

-C-Man

JC, TMC, S3p, WCJF

i nailed a chick on saterday night, well sunday morning. then at 815 her friend ran into the room say we are late for church. we need to go. haha i love catholic high school girls

-skiingpimp

 
yeah the dog one was the worst. oh dear god i am never staying home alone again at night

------------------------------------------------------------

drinking is always the answer. dog dies? have a drink. got a F on your math final? have a drink. hooked up with you moms aunt? have a drink.-cj
 
Here's a couple that are true:

Number one: I have a friend named Micheal Hunt.

Number two: For an Englsih 30 exam we had to write an essay on one of several different topics. One of the topics was the meaning of courage. My buddy chose this one and this is what he wrote...

'An essay on courage by ________.

This is courage.

The end.'

He got an A.

_______________________________

What is the colour of a mirror?

'Fear is your only god' - Zach Dela Rocha

NS hockey pool champion: 2003

www.theeasyrider.com
 
Here's another one:

Below is a true story about a recent wedding that took place in Clemson,SC.

There was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.

To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope including the wedding party.

He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was a 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.)

After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said:

'Fuck you,' he turned to the bride and said 'Fuck you,' and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said 'I'm out of here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong.

His revenge:

1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception.

2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen.

3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
What is the girl and the hotdog one? I'm have a vague recollection of it but i can't remember it well.

________________________
 
Here's a rough outline of the hot dog one.

There are many variations some more grotesque and detailed than others.

Hot Dog Lovin

At a party last week this girl gets really drunk and really horny. The guys at the party can't satisfy her and she starts looking for an object to do the trick. Her attention turns to the kitchen where she finds a frozen hot dog. She gets a little too excited and the hot dog breaks in two with one piece remaining inside. She has to be taken to the hospital to have it removed and is quite embarrassed.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
but you forgot about the embarrasment about going to the doc, and waiting until it started to hurt and stink, only to have the doctor find maggots living in there too.

Antoher good one, similar to the college exam is the one abou the student who was unprepared for an eastern philosphy exam, only to walking and be handed a blue book. The prof, then put the question 'Why?' on the board. Everyone started writing like mad and people started asking for more blue books, while the unprepared student wrote a quick saying and passed it in and walked out.

Needless to say he had the highest score by simply anwering 'Why not?'

life is too short to have any regrets
 
About a week or so ago, a mother took her eager 3 year old son to Burger King for lunch. After they ate their lunch the mother said that the son could go and play on the playground for awhile since he ate all his lunch.

She watched as the boy played in the tunnels, slide and in the ball-pit. The boy played for about 10 minutes when he started to whimper slightly.

The mother asked the boy what had happened and he mearly replied, 'Hurt mommy.' The mother assumed that the little boy had banged his elbow or something while playing.

They left to return home. A half and hour after they were home, the mother noticed some big red welts on the little boys arms and legs. Not being able to figure out what they were, the mother started to look at them closer. Could be red ant bites . . . she did not know.

An hour later, the little boy died. Come to find out, when returning to Burger King to see if there were red ants in the play area, in case the little boy had an allergic reaction. Burger King employees and herself discovered that there was a family of baby rattlesnakes living underneath the balls in the ball-pit area. She has since found out that this happens more frequently than not. The snakes will crawl into the ball pit because it is dark and warm in there. She knows for a fact that another death has occurred because of this in South Carolina. Please use caution when letting any children play in an outside play area of a fast food resturant, this could happen anywhere.

did that make any sense?
 
yo, bhill... how do you steal an urban ledgend? thats alomst the dumbest thing iv heard. And i saw it on a tv show that tried to figure out if there was any truth behind it. THe used alot of explosives and blew up alot of toilets. In the end they came to the conclusion that it was, infact, not true.

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*

 
There was this girl at my high school who liked to camp and stuff. About a week after returning from one of these trips she developed a large, red lump on the side of her neck, just bellow her ear. As it turns out this lump was full of spider eggs. It burst durring geography class and spiders poured out of the open wound.

You cant accually tip a cow over when it sleeps because cows sleep on the ground. And if you havent noticed they are quite large and heavy.

what time is it?.....4:20
 
A woman ordered a chicken burger from McDonlads and asked for them not to put any mayo on it. After a few bites, she noticed a white cream squishing out from the bun and all over the chicken. She decided not to worry about it though, since it was juts mayonaise.

She put the rest of the bun in the box and brought it home for later.

Later that day she started to feel pretty ill.

It ended up that the chicken had a tumour and when she bit into it, the puss from the tumor squirted out all over the bun and chicken.

_______________________________

What is the colour of a mirror?

'Fear is your only god' - Zach Dela Rocha

NS hockey pool champion: 2003

www.theeasyrider.com
 
can someone explain the dog one? i might be stupid, but i dont really get it. 'humans can lick too?'

-Dan

RED SOX
 
^the killer was licking her hand

----------------------------------------

I NAMED JIBBERISH BITCHES. (thanks to MikeE)

real stuff is better than stuff on a screen, porn to sex, skiing to ns

-C-Man

JC, TMC, S3p, WCJF

i nailed a chick on saterday night, well sunday morning. then at 815 her friend ran into the room say we are late for church. we need to go. haha i love catholic high school girls

-skiingpimp

 
cows do sleep standing up... i know plenty of my friends that are farmers that have cows to know that.

_________________________

sanctioned outerwear -http://sanctioned.tk

jacket comming fall 04.

tshirts & hoodies available now.
 
how can you not get the hot dog one. She didn't have a dildo so she used what was available (and the two differences are either the frozen one that freezes to her insides and the thawed version where is breaks off and grows maggots).

life is too short to have any regrets
 
cow tippings no fun, raise the bar a little, its all about Deer Jacking. Get him in the headlights (so they freeze) as someone runs out tries to take him down (with a similar charge to cow tipping) - works best with a pickup and people in the back.

life is too short to have any regrets
 
i held the record at my high school for hitting deer too. 3 at once. in my moms honda going less than 25.

it was soo crazy. there was blood everywhere.

_________________________

sanctioned outerwear -http://sanctioned.tk

jacket comming fall 04.

tshirts & hoodies available now.
 
This one is so digusting it needs to be posted.

You have got to read it.

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular 'Sea Monkey' pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
Told ya it would. I had to post it.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
Over the line... SICK!

_______________________________

What is the colour of a mirror?

'Fear is your only god' - Zach Dela Rocha

NS hockey pool champion: 2003

www.theeasyrider.com
 
that was fucked. i cant believe that i jsut read that. just curious, how true would you say that is? whats the source?

-------------------------

'Hasta la victoria siempre'

Ernesto 'Che' Guevara
 
I'll post the source later. It gets debunked.

But, you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications! Oh, dear Lord!

I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

Breathe and Stop

Ninja Steeze 05

 
^ as in it was fucking bullshit, or as in it was real? cause that is SICK

___________________

- Ian

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

'what a coincidence! i have an erection.' - Derek

'the objective was to get huge tits the size of mountains jack ass. i had to look at fat porn to make these.' - bitchassphatz
 
Ok, that hot dog one is true, happend to a girl at our school, (she is a senior now.)

She, before the hot dog incident, was known as a very very horny and sexually outgoing girl, which would be a good thing if she wasn't butt ass ugly. Anyways she was known to use everything from eventually 4 fingers, yes 4 fingers, to the handles on her hair brushes. Well one night alone at home she decided to use a thawed hot dog, it broke. Parents where not home so she called one of her good friends to drive her to the hospital. Eventaully she told her parents and her good 'friend' told one person that told another and eventually the whole school knew.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
after reading the site trevor put there, i would have to say that story isnt true. read all the shit at the bottom. but who the fuck would be able to think of something that dirty. that was fucked true or not

-------------------------

'Hasta la victoria siempre'

Ernesto 'Che' Guevara
 
That is by far the sickest shit i hav ever read.oh dear god

--------------------------------

drinking is always the answer. dog dies? have a drink. got a F on your math final? have a drink. hooked up with you moms aunt? have a drink.-cj

...:::~*Beckster*~:::...
 
of course it wasnt true, do you know how much a lobster tial would hurt while flapping up and down agains a vagina? it wouldnt pleasure her so much as tare her apart. That was what told me it was fake. plus lobsters look gross, how could someone get off with somthing that looks like a scorpian?

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

--->CCR*

 
^^ ahhhhh thats so wrong

--------------------------------

drinking is always the answer. dog dies? have a drink. got a F on your math final? have a drink. hooked up with you moms aunt? have a drink.-cj

...:::~*Beckster*~:::...
 
the octopus

This teen age girl, growing up in a California coastal town, was obviously pregnant — stomach starting to swell, morning sickness, etc. She, however, tearfully insisted to her mother that she couldn't possibly be pregnant. She had never 'done it' with a boy and it just wasn't possible.

As time went on, however, the signs continued. Her stomach continued to grow, her appetite increased, and so forth. Her mother insisted she was pregnant. The girl insisted it wasn't possible. She was still a 'good' girl.

Finally x-rays were taken and the girl was vindicated. She had a large tumor in her stomach and surgery was performed immediately. To everyone's amazement the surgeons removed not a tumor but a small, live octopus that had fastened itself to the lining of the girl's stomach.

What happened to this girl supposedly is really possible. Octopus eggs are microscopic in size and laid in clusters of tens of thousands. They are usually affixed to kelp at the ocean bottom by a sticky secretion. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that a few could escape and float to the surface where they could be swallowed by an unsuspecting swimmer . . .

the gerbil

The following is a true account:

A 26-year-old male arrives at the ER complaining of rectal bleeding. He is too embarrassed to provide an accurate history but provides the examing doctor a clue: 'There might be something stuck in my rear end.' Examination reveals a non-tender abdomen, but a rectal exam shows blood coming from his anus. A speculum exam reveals bloody stool and a dead gerbil. Apparently, through the cardboard tubing from a paper towel roll, the rodent had been forced into his rectum. Once the animal was in, the tube was pulled out.

The idea is that as the gerbil suffocates, it scratches and claws at the lining of the rectum, providing an intense sensation to the patient. The rodent should then have been defecated, but the swelling and bleeding had caused the retention of the animal. The patient required pain medication and antibiotics after the animal was removed, but was then allowed to go home.

The dog

Number 1- One evening at a party, my wife and I were talking to another couple while we were waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. Eventually, the subject of surprise parties came up since we were at one. I could hardly believe my ears when the lady across the table said something like, 'You'll never believe what happened at a surprise party my friend went to in Canada:'

A man decided to throw a suprise party for his fiance. All the guests were hiding downstairs, where her bedroom was, when she came home. She didn't come downstairs immediately, but went straight to the bathroom and got into the shower, so they decided to wait until she got out to surprise her.

After her shower, she came downstairs calling the dog. They turned on the lights and yelled, 'Surprise.' The man's fiance was standing there completely naked except for some peanut butter spread all over her nipples and crotch.

The wedding was called off. She quit her job and disappeared -- nobody knows where she is. When the friend went back to Canada shortly afterwards, the house had a 'For Sale' sign in front.

Number 2-

This guy's girlfriend is turning 30. He invites friends from both of their workplaces to a surprise birthday party. On the night of the party, the girl is not yet home; all the guests are hiding in the basement of her house. She comes in the front door and looks for her dog, which the boyfriend has downstairs to get the birthday girl to come downstairs. A few minutes of silence pass, then the girl is calling for the dog again. She starts down the basement steps still calling the dog and flips on the lights. She has no clothes on and her breasts and crotch are covered with peanut butter just for the dog. There she stands in front of family and friends.

Her boyfriend has left her, she has not been back to work since. No word on her family.

 
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