The Truth about Chuck Norris...

"Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out transformed into a robot."

good site
 
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris
 
This is one of my favourites

"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths."
 
we once threw a bachalar party for chuck norris, he ate the entire cake before he realized there was a hooker inside
 
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

hahaha good one... I've heard quite a few of those ones but some were new.
 
chuck norris was denied a sosage mcmuffin at Mcdonalds because it was 10:35, he roundkicked the whole restourant so hard it became a wendies
 
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

haha, thats so hilarious. im laughing so much right now. haha
 
Every Friday, Chuck Norris stands menacingly on the shores of southern Texas and gazes stoicly into the ocean, whilst masturbating. This is why Hurricane Rita turned east.
 
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.
 
Chuck Norris is sueing NBC claimng that LAW & ORDER are trademarks for his left and right legs

CHuck Norris beat the living shit out of a Burger King employee for not giving it to him his way, when he asked for barbed wire on his burger

Rumour has it Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparelleled martial arts skills. Shortly after the transaction, Chuck stole back his soul with a round house kick to the face. The devil noticing the irony, admitted he had seen this coming... the two have been freinds since and play poker together the second wednesday of every month

Just to prove cancer was no problem Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for two years, aquireing 7 different types of cancer. Only to rid them of his body in 30 minutes of flexing
 
My buddy did a search and replace for chuck norris with Jack Burton much more fitting, if you dont know who jack burton is go watch big trouble in little china bitches
 
When Vin Diesal jumps into a body of water he does not become wet, instead the water becomes Vin.... Old stuff but still funny
 
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
 
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.
 
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