The surefire way to get laid...

NoTeefa

NoTeefa

Active member
Is to lower your standards.

Come clean kids.

I want to hear some good stories about that lagune creature you slept with, now almost everybody's done it, so no need to be ashamed.

I want details too! don't just say "man I fucked the nastiest bitch ever!" I want to know exactly how ugly she was, how drunk/desparate you were, and how it all came to be.

alright! let's go...
 
aight, so this one time i was with this older lady. so when we're done we just sitting in bed and smokin' a cig and talkin about things. So i tell her that i'm a great freestyle skier and i spend all my time on NS. so she sais "No way, my son is on that all the time" so i'm like what's his screen name and she sais she will go get it. I was like "no,no. don't worry about it" but she said"no, it would be good if you could talk to him and maybe help him out a little bit. maybe you can get him out of this fetish he has with guys hooking up with really nasty chicks, so i'm like ok whats his screen name and she says..."NoTeefa"!....so now im like shit!!!!hahahaha!

Just joking man, that would be fucking halarious though.
 
Got drunk at a friends house and some chubby chick that liked me sucked me off haha...thats about the worst thats happened.
 
d00d, fucking weak man, I didn't realize you were kidding till the end.

I'll post my story tomorrow when I have more time
 
Well I was in Toronto (Toronto girls love cock) and this girl had such horrible boobs that I found myself groping her neck to see if she had an adams apple. Scale of drunkeness- shitfaced

Another time in Toronto I vomited, passed out and this fat girl wearing a poncho was riding me.

Scale of drunkeness-EPIC
 
dude, dont spread our fucking secret you douche. its code 1 verse 3 of chapter 6 in the fifth book of the code of ruffies.
 
I ordered a girl a roofie colada one time. She and the bartender both just looked at me. That was sort of an error in judgment, but I think I'm way funnier than I am when I'm drunk.

I'm actually of the school of "raise your standards", because then you make your own. I've actually never hit anything I later regretted. However, Jib_This needs to see this thread...
 
I actually left pretty quick, it's really not okay to even mention date rape drugs in a bar. It sketches people.
 
the problem hasn't hit me yet.. but apparently my brother is called the 'dragon slayer' because of all the dirty chicks he's hooked up with:

a bald one

one with a pointy chin that poke him in the butt apparent

fat ones

manly ones

etc etc

Gotta slay a few dragons before you get to the princess.
 
one of the guys on my rugby team's only stanard is if he can touch the tips of his two middle fingers together when he's huggin the chick.

one game my rugby team is called "From the Pound by the pound." the name says it all. It can get pretty freakin nasty. We all put money in a pot before we go out and whoever wins the game gets the cash.
 
my team had a simliar kid, he made a website called *hisname*doesaTON

and he fucked alot of fat chicks, made them step on a scale and counted upwards till hit hit 1 ton in weight....disturbing to say the least
 
I went to this party one time, and this chick had a smokin ass, so I go up to talk to her and she has a big wart on her face. Later on, we are both drunk and she pulls me inside a bedroom. Before we start I put a bag over her head so it was all good though
 
i had sex wstith the who from whoville, but tghis was the tall who from whoville fuack. thats like my lagonn creatue and jabba the huut wraped into one.
 
does it count if you were passed out? because there was this girl who we call chubaka, and she ended up goin on this austria trip that i went on with a bunch of poeple. anyway we got back from the bar and drank a little more, and i go to bed and pass out, and she (she being chubaka, who happens to be fuckin nasty) gets in be and starts spoonin. i didnt bang her but technicaly slept with her for a little bit. im just happy i fell asleep before anything could happen
 
heres mine..

down at the beach (oc maryland) aug 2nd week...

1am we are rolling around looking for hookers in my friends h1 hummer..we have been out since 8 looking so that was a fail. most of us are drunk or high or something, iam really looking for action at this point like no other haha. so i find the the fugliest bitch within like my distance of seeing so i spot a "heard" of fat bitches haha, damn iam mean. my friend yells hey ladies pile in! so we get them in the car and i was just like randomly screaming HEY WHAT IF I WHIPP MY DICK OUT!!??!?! so i did and i was like give me head or something chop chop! while we were doing this my friends were all cracking jokes on them like hey u guys are some finily tuned alecthic machines. so after that i dont even touch this girl after she did her duty we kicked them out never seen again, or didnt even get there names
 
my friends, who were too busy not helpin a brother out when a girl was taking advantage of him, made fun of me the next day
 
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