The Secret to Pooping Properly

squibble

squibble

Active member
I will now tell you how to get no-wipers for 90% of your daily deuces. It's something I've recently discovered after getting tired of wiping my ass and wasting so much precious TP doing so. When you go to take your next shit, whether it be outside on a lawn or in your own sanctuary, take care to spread your ass cheeks ever so slightly. The first log that drops might feel a bit funny, but only at first. Unless you've dropped the mother load and you think you may have clogged the toilet then I can guarantee that for 9/10 times you will face a virtual* no-wiper scenario.

*It's always a good habit to do a safety wipe just incase.
 
i always spread cheeks a bit and still have to wipe probably 3/4 times. you must just have alot of rock hard shits.

 
its all in the water/poop ratio to be honost with you. Spreading your cheeks only stops shit from getting on your butt cheek.
 
do anyone else's beer shits have a less then desirable wet composition, but end up being a ghoster nearly every time?
 
k i know this is gross as fuck, but i hate when sometimes shit doesn't actually fall off your ass, and you end up having to wipe a motherload of poo. that's absolutely the worst.
 
ya i know this happens like once in 500 poos. the best thing to do it wait for gravity to takr place...
 
does anyone else's asshole hair just get tangled sometimes? like seriously thats the worst il just be walking and it'll get tangled and feel like my asshole hair is getting ripped out. fuck. anyway this thread is nasty as fuck. im out
 
my butt hair gave me the idea. if you spread your hair is free from the a hole and thus when you wipe your only wiping the sphincter, which usually isnt that dirty.

thats gross detail
 
whip from the front, lift the sack, get it girl, and take your pants completely off before, i've profected pooping.
 
have a heavy fiber intake, either with metamucil or a good diet and ghost poos will come 100% of the
time
 
Hahaha. Apparently if you only eat vegetables and fruits and drink only water they will start being 100% clean after like three days. Almost worth being a vegetarian over?
 
humans are actually designed to poop while squatting, not sitting. so if you ever try it out and pop a squat it comes out real nice and clean at least 75% of the time.
 
exactly. not only does it come out clean, but if you squat properly it actually eases the flow of shit and helps get a more powerful push to fully clear your rectum of all fecal matter.
 
What i've found is with one of the "never ending story" shits, the ones that after the first wipe you know you're gonna be there awhile, is that if i just simply wait and read a good novel the poop eventually dries a bit. From careful calculation, i've noticed i only have to do about 50% of the usual wipes using this method.

Thus, i save endless energy on those messy "never ending stories"

 
While your statement is true here is how to do it

step 1- pull pants down

step 2- sit on toilet

step 3- sit a little off center of the bowl

step 4- press your left or right cheeck on the lid

step 5- stretch ever so slightly the opposite cheek to the other side of bowl

step 6- drop bears into toilet

step 7-
Fuck_Yea.png

 
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