The religious guys outside sporting events...

.SteezusChrist.

.SteezusChrist.

Active member
These guys are the best. They think people care. Tonight I was at McDonald's outside Fenway in Boston and this guy comes in with signs on him. It was like a city burning. I was with my girlfriend and 2 other guys. Only one friend and I talked to him.

You can have a lot of fun with these guys. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Yo dude, what's up?
Religious Freak: Hello.
Friend: What's that on the sign?
RF: It shows how Jesus will save us from eternity.
Friend (Points to some guy burning): What's that?
RF: Somebody who is not being saved. He is going to hell.
Me: What kind of people burn?
RF: Jehovas Witnesses always do.
Me: Do you have a bible on you?
RF: Yes, only the New Testament though.
Me: Can we show you a verse?
RF: Sure.

We proceed to tell him about this verse, which he has no clue about.

Me: You don't know the bible!?!? I think you read the Book of Mormon instead of the real bible!
RF: The Book of Mormon was written by the devil! (He lists some random guy and calls him the devil because he is mormon)
Me: I have Mormon friends.
RF: Tell them they are going to burn in Hell unless they convert.
Friend: (Pretending to agree with the guy) Yeah, the damn Mormons!
RF: Well, I have some things for you. (He pulls out all these papers)
Me: Can I ski in heaven?
RF: I don't really know, I haven't gone yet.
Me: Is there some epic pow pow in heaven?
RF: Whatever that is, it's not in hell.
Me: I know people that need you.
RF: Who?
Me: Tanner Hall. This one time, he was going to Chad's Gap, but not from the bottom of Alta. He managed to get there without MFM fucking him up. When he got there, he built the jump, but the snow was slushy. He hit it switch and fell. He was shouting, "Broke, my ankles are broke! Fuck! Ahhhh!" Then the camera man said "His ankles are broken!" Ski patrol came and blew it up.
RF: So how does he need me?
Me: He can't find Chad or his gap.
RF: OK, well I need to go, thanks for talking to me. Most people think I'm a total cookoo and don't want to talk to me.

At this point we can't even hold in the laughter.

We all start telling him he is perfectly normal and special.

Sorry for the pointless post, but we had an hour to kill and I am bored tonight, so if you see those guys, just talk to them, you can have some fun.

 
how am i going to get those two minutes of my life back?

that was so fucking stupid. you could have come up with 1000000 better things to say.

 
im sorry but i really truly hate religion and religious people!!!!!! religion is another name for a cult, and religious people are fucking creepy and its the downfall of humanity.......
 
the downfall of humanity began as soon as we saw ourselves a being more important than every other living thing. that's all i have to say.
 
i would tell him im like a buddist and that he is going to hell and he should convert thatd be so funny
 
Hating religion doesn't make you a nihilist

.

ni·hil·ism
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Audio Help /ˈnaɪ
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əˌlɪz
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əm, ˈni-/ - [nahy-uh-liz-uh
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m, nee-] - –noun

1.

total rejection of established laws and institutions.

2.

anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity.

3.

total and absolute destructiveness, esp. toward the world at large and including oneself: the power-mad nihilism that marked Hitler's last years.

4.

Philosophy.

a.

an extreme form of skepticism: the denial of all real existence or the possibility of an objective basis for truth.

b.

nothingness or nonexistence.

5.

(sometimes initial capital letter
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) the

principles of a Russian revolutionary group, active in the latter half

of the 19th century, holding that existing social and political

institutions must be destroyed in order to clear the way for a new

state of society and employing extreme measures, including terrorism

and assassination.

6.

annihilation of the self, or the individual consciousness, esp. as an aspect of mystical experience.

 
nah man. that's a good thing so we can evolve. the downfall began when we put other "creatures" in front of ourselves...
 
man, i love metalocalypse, such a great show.

but yeah, this was pretty funny, but could have been funnier
 
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