THE PILL!!
- Thread starter VT_FLO
- Start date
PilleDaKid
Active member
the pill, the pill, the pill.
Ski_Midwest
Member
the girls just say they have bad cramps and irregular periods... not like they go hey i wanna fuck my boyfriend can you get me on the pill
Shpadoinkle
Active member
It's mad fucking awkward. My mom thinks I'm a good little virgin girl...I'm not, and now she knows.
Shpadoinkle
Active member
True, but that doesn't ALWAYS work.
396222687862
New member
uh. yea...
Shpadoinkle
Active member
You're all guys talking about the pill. Just goes to show what you all know.
I'm 20 BTW
I'm 20 BTW
skiizy
Active member
Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight to prove I'm right
And I don't need to be forgiven
Don't cry, don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland
Sally, take my hand
Travel south cross land
Put out the fire and don't look past my shoulder
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get home before we get older
you post like youre 10!
Shpadoinkle
Active member
Nah, I just keep it short and sweet.
But since you know everything about the reproductive organ of the female...please share.
But since you know everything about the reproductive organ of the female...please share.
Skibumsmith
Active member
noooo please don't
who said he knew everyting anyway?
who said he knew everyting anyway?
skiizy
Active member
oh wait you wnated short and sweet... ok here you go:
Unlike the male, the human female has a reproductive system located
entirely in the pelvis. The external part of the female reproductive
organs is called the vulva, which means covering. Located between the
legs, the vulva covers the opening to the vagina and other reproductive
organs located inside the body.
The fleshy area located just above the top of the vaginal opening is
called the mons pubis. Two pairs of skin flaps called the labia (which
means lips) surround the vaginal opening. The clitoris, a small sensory
organ, is located toward the front of the vulva where the folds of the
labia join. Between the labia are openings to the urethra (the canal
that carries urine from the bladder to the outside of the body) and
vagina. Once girls become sexually mature, the outer labia and the mons
pubis are covered by pubic hair.
A female's internal reproductive organs are the vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.
The vagina is a muscular, hollow tube that extends from the vaginal
opening to the uterus. The vagina is about 3 to 5 inches (8 to 12
centimeters) long in a grown woman. Because it has muscular walls, it
can expand and contract. This ability to become wider or narrower
allows the vagina to accommodate something as slim as a tampon and as
wide as a baby. The vagina's muscular walls are lined with mucous
membranes, which keep it protected and moist.
The vagina serves three purposes:
1.It's where the penis is inserted during sexual intercourse.
2.It's the pathway that a baby takes out of a woman's body during childbirth, called the birth canal.
3.It provides the route for the menstrual blood (the period) to leave the body from the uterus.
A thin sheet of tissue with one or more holes in it called the hymen
partially covers the opening of the vagina. Hymens are often different
from female to female. Most women find their hymens have stretched or
torn after their first sexual experience, and the hymen may bleed a
little (this usually causes little, if any, pain). Some women who have
had sex don't have much of a change in their hymens, though.
The vagina connects with the uterus, or womb, at the cervix (which
means neck). The cervix has strong, thick walls. The opening of the
cervix is very small (no wider than a straw), which is why a tampon can
never get lost inside a girl's body. During childbirth, the cervix can
expand to allow a baby to pass.
The uterus is shaped like an upside-down pear, with a thick lining
and muscular walls — in fact, the uterus contains some of the strongest
muscles in the female body. These muscles are able to expand and
contract to accommodate a growing fetus and then help push the baby out
during labor. When a woman isn't pregnant, theterus is only about 3
inches (7.5 centimeters) long and 2 inches (5 centimeters) wide.
At the upper corners of the uterus, the fallopian tubes connect the
uterus to the ovaries. The ovaries are two oval-shaped organs that lie
to the upper right and left of the uterus. They produce, store, and
release egginto the fallopia tubes in the process called ovulation.
Each ovary measures about 1½ to 2 inches (4 to 5 centimeters) in a
grown woman.
There are two fallopian tubes, each attached to a side of the
uterus. The fallopian tubes are about 4 inches (10 centimeters) long
and about as wide as a piece of spaghetti. Within each tube is a tiny
passagewayno wider than a sewing needle. At the other end of each
fallopian tube is a fringed area that looks like a funnel. This fringed
area wraps around the ovary but doesn't completely attach to it. When
an egg pops out of an ovary, it enters the fallopian tube. Once the egg
is in the fallopian tube, tiny hairs in the tube's lining help push it
down the narrow passageway toward the uterus.
The ovariesare also part of th endocrine system because they produce female sex hormones such as estrogen and progesterone.
but hey thats a short humble summary
Unlike the male, the human female has a reproductive system located
entirely in the pelvis. The external part of the female reproductive
organs is called the vulva, which means covering. Located between the
legs, the vulva covers the opening to the vagina and other reproductive
organs located inside the body.
The fleshy area located just above the top of the vaginal opening is
called the mons pubis. Two pairs of skin flaps called the labia (which
means lips) surround the vaginal opening. The clitoris, a small sensory
organ, is located toward the front of the vulva where the folds of the
labia join. Between the labia are openings to the urethra (the canal
that carries urine from the bladder to the outside of the body) and
vagina. Once girls become sexually mature, the outer labia and the mons
pubis are covered by pubic hair.
A female's internal reproductive organs are the vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.
The vagina is a muscular, hollow tube that extends from the vaginal
opening to the uterus. The vagina is about 3 to 5 inches (8 to 12
centimeters) long in a grown woman. Because it has muscular walls, it
can expand and contract. This ability to become wider or narrower
allows the vagina to accommodate something as slim as a tampon and as
wide as a baby. The vagina's muscular walls are lined with mucous
membranes, which keep it protected and moist.
The vagina serves three purposes:
1.It's where the penis is inserted during sexual intercourse.
2.It's the pathway that a baby takes out of a woman's body during childbirth, called the birth canal.
3.It provides the route for the menstrual blood (the period) to leave the body from the uterus.
A thin sheet of tissue with one or more holes in it called the hymen
partially covers the opening of the vagina. Hymens are often different
from female to female. Most women find their hymens have stretched or
torn after their first sexual experience, and the hymen may bleed a
little (this usually causes little, if any, pain). Some women who have
had sex don't have much of a change in their hymens, though.
The vagina connects with the uterus, or womb, at the cervix (which
means neck). The cervix has strong, thick walls. The opening of the
cervix is very small (no wider than a straw), which is why a tampon can
never get lost inside a girl's body. During childbirth, the cervix can
expand to allow a baby to pass.
The uterus is shaped like an upside-down pear, with a thick lining
and muscular walls — in fact, the uterus contains some of the strongest
muscles in the female body. These muscles are able to expand and
contract to accommodate a growing fetus and then help push the baby out
during labor. When a woman isn't pregnant, theterus is only about 3
inches (7.5 centimeters) long and 2 inches (5 centimeters) wide.
At the upper corners of the uterus, the fallopian tubes connect the
uterus to the ovaries. The ovaries are two oval-shaped organs that lie
to the upper right and left of the uterus. They produce, store, and
release egginto the fallopia tubes in the process called ovulation.
Each ovary measures about 1½ to 2 inches (4 to 5 centimeters) in a
grown woman.
There are two fallopian tubes, each attached to a side of the
uterus. The fallopian tubes are about 4 inches (10 centimeters) long
and about as wide as a piece of spaghetti. Within each tube is a tiny
passagewayno wider than a sewing needle. At the other end of each
fallopian tube is a fringed area that looks like a funnel. This fringed
area wraps around the ovary but doesn't completely attach to it. When
an egg pops out of an ovary, it enters the fallopian tube. Once the egg
is in the fallopian tube, tiny hairs in the tube's lining help push it
down the narrow passageway toward the uterus.
The ovariesare also part of th endocrine system because they produce female sex hormones such as estrogen and progesterone.
but hey thats a short humble summary
DrStrangelove
Active member
dude, fuck condoms when you have a girlfriend who's on the pill and you've both been tested...just make sure you're both on the same page ahead of time with the emergency abortion thing, and keep like 200 bucks apiece lying around in case it ever comes up
dave...
Active member
The Vagina (or more commonly known as 'the "Happy Hole"') is commonly considered to be small furry animal with possibly thousands of rows of razor-sharp, serrated teeth - capable of devouring large quantities of raw meat. The vagina has the distinction of being colloquially known as an "axe wound" in every spoken language on Earth. Also known as the thing-that-you-will-spend-nine-tenths-of-your-life-looking-for-but-never-getting.Its primary justification is to give meaning to the existence of females, for the vagina was made to give pleasure to men (among no other things) and is the one main reason why men keep women around (aside from breasts).Females were created to be a host to vaginas and sustain their lives by supplying oxygenated blood, and enable transportation to fresh kills of raw meat. Someexperts claim the that the original intended use of the vagina (note: the orange ones fuck you up real good) was to steal any fresh kitten souls from men who've beenhuffing - which explains why the male becomes lethargic and the female energized after sex.Professors of vaginology are commonly referred to as vaginarians, vaginalogists or vagiterians. That they may be called gynecologists is a vagination of clitorical proportion.Contents [hide]1 Alternate Definitions2 Civilization3 Censorship4 Other notes5 Pope Benedict XVI's Address on the Existence of the Vagina6 See also[/list]
Alternate Definitions
Also available with chipotle.The most influential force in the known universe, the vagina is stronger than the five fundamental physical forces (gravity, strong and weak nuclear, electro-magnetic,Rayner Administration foreign policy) combined. the vagina is lined with razor sharp teeth . It is also very formidable, except Katie Rayner likes them. It is thought to be the portal to God (at least according to Katie Rayner). Approximately one-half of the terrestrial human population is afflicted by the mysterious force, while the other half spends the majority of their young adult lives trying to access it momentarily.Vaginas sometimes have sex with their poop from the usual raw meat to include cheese, a change which transforms the creature into what is known as a "cheesy vagina." The vagina becomes more irritable after this transformation, and may indeed temporarily lose its appetite for raw meat entirely. The term vagina also typically refers to cities, states or countries with the characteristics of a vagina. For example, Toronto, Ontario in the summer can be considered a vagina because it is hot (near body temperature), humid (90%+ relative humidity), smells like rotting garbage (unwashed), and additionally gives birth to all Canadian hubris (reproductive function). Similar conditions exist for countries such as Taiwan ROC and states such as Florida in the summer.The world's leading expert on vaginology, Dr Condoleeza Rice, has suggested that the vagina's true purpose lies in the fabled "pussy fart", in which the vagina forces out a mysterious hydrocarbon gas capable of killing millions by means of hornification. Because of its overall deadliness, none have been able to analyse it in its entirety. All that is speculated is that if the atmosphere reaches critcal levels, massive horniness could be achieved and that in the case of such an event all men and homosexual females -- everyone who ever lusted after pussy -- will die. Vaginas are sometimes thought to have a mind of their own.Although it generally controls all of their functions, females are occasionally able to overcome the force of the vagina and use it as a suctioning device, removing all property and monetary assets from any man that may be attached. This action is generally referred to as a pussywhipping, referring to Admiral H. T. Pussy, whose female's pussy actually grew bullwhips to remove the money from his wallet by force. Males who believe they may be in danger of a pussywhipping are advised to dangle a diamond, credit card, or pair of shoes in front of the vagina, in order to increase its strength over the female's mind and keep her placated.Civilization
The mating call of the vagina can now be bought for $12.99 at your local record emporium!!!If global trends continue as they are now, it is predicted that by the year 2037 the woman's vagina will reign supreme over all of civilization as we know it, in the rise of the second Woman Empire, Aristasia. Under the new administration, men will be used only for fertilization such as when a woman/vagina wants to have offspring or only if it/she is rather horny.Men will be addressed simply by numbers, e.g. #2774890. Each man will have their own unique number and must send a request to the almighty vagina for their needs, such as new clothing or food of their own choice. The food they'll receive by default will be beer and steak and they will have daily activities such as watching porn or sports shows from the 90s, in a highly effective method to keep men from questioning the world around them.Women will also have a vast amount of freedom to do as they please and have the privilege of not asking the supreme vagina. This freedom will be spent shoeshopping 24-7. The shoe industry will experience an unparallelled economic boom. Science and technology will fade away as women will be too busy trying on shoes.If any man or woman defies the rule of the supreme vagina, they will be tortured and automatically thrown into the death chamber which lies deep within the supreme vagina herself and straight into the placenta. There, the victims will be squeezed to death and if still alive, they will drown in acidic amniotic fluids. Vaginas also produces the funniest phone number in the world.However, without a radical restructuring in policy this empire is doomed to fail like the first one.CensorshipMany women attempt to censor their vaginas. The most common method, though generally discouraged by males everywhere, is to grow hair there. Alternatively, they can wear clothes. Many a man's preferred methods include burqas.Pope Benedict XVI's Address on the Existence of the VaginaWith more questions being asked daily and public pressure mounting, during his 2008 visit to the United States, Pope Benedict XVI spoke publicly for the first time regarding his stance on the existence of the vagina. The statement is as follows:...and finally to my subjects:In recent months, so-called 'authorities' have been fueling the public imagination with unwarranted speculation on the vagina. It is God's will that the subject of the vagina is not to be explored, and is not supposed to be questioned. We shall know in due time, once God tells us what it is for. Man may question or even speculate on the purpose of the vagina, but no conclusions should be drawn unto its origin. I do not have a vagina, nor have I ever seen one. I'm not even sure if I have a butthole or not. We must not question God's motives on the existence of the vagina. If anyone here now has ever seen a vagina, please email me a picture at popebennyxvi@vatican.va. Rest assured that all these pictures will be forwarded personally to me for quick viewing.God bless you, and may your life be free of freak Skil-Saw accidents.
Alternate Definitions
Also available with chipotle.The most influential force in the known universe, the vagina is stronger than the five fundamental physical forces (gravity, strong and weak nuclear, electro-magnetic,Rayner Administration foreign policy) combined. the vagina is lined with razor sharp teeth . It is also very formidable, except Katie Rayner likes them. It is thought to be the portal to God (at least according to Katie Rayner). Approximately one-half of the terrestrial human population is afflicted by the mysterious force, while the other half spends the majority of their young adult lives trying to access it momentarily.Vaginas sometimes have sex with their poop from the usual raw meat to include cheese, a change which transforms the creature into what is known as a "cheesy vagina." The vagina becomes more irritable after this transformation, and may indeed temporarily lose its appetite for raw meat entirely. The term vagina also typically refers to cities, states or countries with the characteristics of a vagina. For example, Toronto, Ontario in the summer can be considered a vagina because it is hot (near body temperature), humid (90%+ relative humidity), smells like rotting garbage (unwashed), and additionally gives birth to all Canadian hubris (reproductive function). Similar conditions exist for countries such as Taiwan ROC and states such as Florida in the summer.The world's leading expert on vaginology, Dr Condoleeza Rice, has suggested that the vagina's true purpose lies in the fabled "pussy fart", in which the vagina forces out a mysterious hydrocarbon gas capable of killing millions by means of hornification. Because of its overall deadliness, none have been able to analyse it in its entirety. All that is speculated is that if the atmosphere reaches critcal levels, massive horniness could be achieved and that in the case of such an event all men and homosexual females -- everyone who ever lusted after pussy -- will die. Vaginas are sometimes thought to have a mind of their own.Although it generally controls all of their functions, females are occasionally able to overcome the force of the vagina and use it as a suctioning device, removing all property and monetary assets from any man that may be attached. This action is generally referred to as a pussywhipping, referring to Admiral H. T. Pussy, whose female's pussy actually grew bullwhips to remove the money from his wallet by force. Males who believe they may be in danger of a pussywhipping are advised to dangle a diamond, credit card, or pair of shoes in front of the vagina, in order to increase its strength over the female's mind and keep her placated.Civilization
The mating call of the vagina can now be bought for $12.99 at your local record emporium!!!If global trends continue as they are now, it is predicted that by the year 2037 the woman's vagina will reign supreme over all of civilization as we know it, in the rise of the second Woman Empire, Aristasia. Under the new administration, men will be used only for fertilization such as when a woman/vagina wants to have offspring or only if it/she is rather horny.Men will be addressed simply by numbers, e.g. #2774890. Each man will have their own unique number and must send a request to the almighty vagina for their needs, such as new clothing or food of their own choice. The food they'll receive by default will be beer and steak and they will have daily activities such as watching porn or sports shows from the 90s, in a highly effective method to keep men from questioning the world around them.Women will also have a vast amount of freedom to do as they please and have the privilege of not asking the supreme vagina. This freedom will be spent shoeshopping 24-7. The shoe industry will experience an unparallelled economic boom. Science and technology will fade away as women will be too busy trying on shoes.If any man or woman defies the rule of the supreme vagina, they will be tortured and automatically thrown into the death chamber which lies deep within the supreme vagina herself and straight into the placenta. There, the victims will be squeezed to death and if still alive, they will drown in acidic amniotic fluids. Vaginas also produces the funniest phone number in the world.However, without a radical restructuring in policy this empire is doomed to fail like the first one.CensorshipMany women attempt to censor their vaginas. The most common method, though generally discouraged by males everywhere, is to grow hair there. Alternatively, they can wear clothes. Many a man's preferred methods include burqas.Pope Benedict XVI's Address on the Existence of the VaginaWith more questions being asked daily and public pressure mounting, during his 2008 visit to the United States, Pope Benedict XVI spoke publicly for the first time regarding his stance on the existence of the vagina. The statement is as follows:...and finally to my subjects:In recent months, so-called 'authorities' have been fueling the public imagination with unwarranted speculation on the vagina. It is God's will that the subject of the vagina is not to be explored, and is not supposed to be questioned. We shall know in due time, once God tells us what it is for. Man may question or even speculate on the purpose of the vagina, but no conclusions should be drawn unto its origin. I do not have a vagina, nor have I ever seen one. I'm not even sure if I have a butthole or not. We must not question God's motives on the existence of the vagina. If anyone here now has ever seen a vagina, please email me a picture at popebennyxvi@vatican.va. Rest assured that all these pictures will be forwarded personally to me for quick viewing.God bless you, and may your life be free of freak Skil-Saw accidents.
SteezyMcDizzle
Member
I need a girlfriend that skis....now...
Skibumsmith
Active member
Me too.
Shpadoinkle
Active member
NOOOOO! That's what that thing is? I thought it was a black hole where the gravitational force is so powerful that nothing can escape its pull after having fallen pasts it's horizon.
Dave is a ladies man. He is the original author of that shit.
Dave is a ladies man. He is the original author of that shit.
TechnoPotamus
Active member
TechnoPotamus
Active member
i'm not trying to attack your parents, but that is so stupid. My parents were like that with me drinking, they were like OMGZZZ you're not allowed to drink but obviously i did it anyway and then drove drunk cuz i was young and stupid as fuck.
the point is....parents need to wise up and realize you're going to drink/smoke/have sex/whatever it is even if they say no.....so a smart parent will do their best to accept the situation and just help their kid handle it as best as possible.
anybody feel me on this one?
/rant.
the point is....parents need to wise up and realize you're going to drink/smoke/have sex/whatever it is even if they say no.....so a smart parent will do their best to accept the situation and just help their kid handle it as best as possible.
anybody feel me on this one?
/rant.
afrocentric
Member
im no parent, but this definitely seems coherent. and thats the kind of parent i plan to be because that how i was raised.
GreenStezz
Active member
..........................................
skithe49th
Active member
yeaa my dad freaked out when he found a 40 in my room.