The "Official" Post Your College Essay Thread

foodisfun

foodisfun

Active member
*Warning: Long Post Approaching*

I don't know why i waited so long to do this, but i've been wanting to see what everyone else has done. i know it's gonna be extremely long, but w/e i'd like to see how other people write.

speaking of long essays, mine goes way past the "recommended" length and hopefully you'll soon understand why. the one i will post was my most used essay for schools that allowed me to choose a topic of my own, and this one was edited down to 3 pages. if for some reason you want to see the original 4 page essay, let me know and i'll be sure to post it up.

so here it is. you can critique it or w/e, but i don't care because as you'll find out, that's not what an essay is supposed to be about to me. this is personal, and no one got a look at it until it was complete.

I hate essays. It’s 11:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning and I should be leaving the SAT testing center. Instead, I’m instructed to turn the page and begin the writing component of the test. It’s my second time taking this exam, and the topic for the essay is just as extraneous to my interest as it was the first time around. This test, however, wasn’t what led me to have such strong feelings against essays, it just fueled the flame. Unfortunately, essays and I have spent too much time together, and perhaps just like an unhappy couple, we began to notice flaws and negative aspects about each other.

I’m not sure of the exact date, but sometime about eight years ago I formally met an essay for the first time. While being introduced, she held her ground and seemed very intimidating, while I nervously fidgeted around in my desk. There was an immediate attraction, however, when I looked deeper, and I could see a great future for the two of us. Her openness and willingness to listen to my thoughts, no matter how extensive or detailed, was a characteristic I knew I couldn’t find in many others. There was also something about this essay that let me know I would be able to communicate with her about anything, and she would try her best to understand my feelings.

After our initial introduction, we probably met only three or four more times throughout the remainder of that fourth grade school year. Having a limited number of visits with essays allowed me to really appreciate them, and always have something new and exciting to share. She was able to see me grow, mature, and respond to the many changes that occurred in my life over the next few years. A strange thing happened though at the beginning of seventh grade, and this is when an essential turning point in our relationship took place. I don’t know what made her change, but as I progressed through seventh and eighth grade, our conversations seemed to become more frequent, but directed only by her, allowing me little room to express how I really felt. She became less accepting and created stricter guidelines and regulations I was instructed to follow, and I no longer felt a real deep bond between the two of us.

I was optimistic after eighth grade though, hoping that maybe high school would permit essays and I to take a much needed break to evaluate our relationship. Just the opposite was proven true, however, as with more students and more teachers came more essays. Avoiding essays was impossible, and soon we began seeing each other at least once a week. Besides the fact that she was becoming less personal and more controlling and austere, I noticed some other unappealing qualities that became more prevalent as we spent additional time together. After the middle school years, she established a firm time limit, often not allowing me to finish my thoughts and project my ideas completely. I couldn’t understand how an essay’s most attractive trait could diminish so easily with time. She transformed from being so tolerant and perceptive, to becoming demanding and imperious. While we were once very personal and intimate, she suddenly began to share my thoughts and expressions for others to review and offer criticism. How can a relationship truly be meaningful and passionate when others are constantly trying to examine and analyze it? In addition to discussing my feelings and ideas to an open forum of friends, I was soon being compared to work in popular literature, where so called “experts” explained how to properly and appropriately convey one’s thoughts and emotions to paper. These writers contradicted themselves, stating that it is the individuals’ personal response and ideas that make an essay powerful, yet they create guidelines for others to follow to attain a successful essay. How personal is a writing sample when its format and design is taken from a book written by someone who knows nothing about your life and beliefs? Our conversations also altered from being open-ended, unrestricted exchanges, to discussions designed around works of literature I had no interest in and was forced to read. Time together was no longer spent enjoying each other’s company and joyfully chatting about personal events or happenings; rather, we occupied ourselves by bickering over trivial occurrences in our relationship.

After numerous unhappy years of being together, it ultimately became obvious that our connection had not been as sturdy and personal as initially planned. Nevertheless, it was a relief to finally agree, as a couple, and come to the conclusion that we had one major blemish in our relationship that rose above all. There was a severe lack of communication. I should have recognized it earlier, but I was so busy trying to make our relationship work, that I shied away from the thought of communication errors ever occurring. As I reminisce about our past, it is apparent that we have never connected as profoundly as I had wanted to believe. No matter how detailed and comprehensive my writing, nothing can match the power and superiority of a life in progress. No matter how advanced and evocative my vocabulary, no words or phrases can truly describe an individual. No matter what anyone else says, there is simply no other way to truly get to know a person other than through physical contact.

Now as I’m taken back to this Saturday morning in a classroom, completing the “personal response” section of what is assumed to be the most important test of my life, I can’t help but whisper, “I hate you.” Again I don’t have enough time to thoroughly finish my reply, but this time I just smile and think, “Who cares?” If someone won’t allow me to completely express my opinions so that they can gain a better insight to my life, then they’re not someone I want to be with anyway.

 
idk what happened with the font or w/e, but the essay starts at "I hate essays."

don't forget to post yours up
 
ha that's why i waited until after i submitted my shit and after the deadline for the common app. i don't know if u guys were joking or not, but that's pretty lame if you use it cause it's something really personal that although didn't take long, means a lot to me.
 
ahhh the meta-essay. My english teacher told us to avoid these, but it appears that you did a pretty good job. I'm only in 11th grade, so I have another year to worry about this. More essays por favor?
 
that was great. most of the time I don't end up reading long posts on ns because, well it's ns, but I always do with yours. in less eloquent terms, I agree completely.
 
I liked yours man, it was funny! I did mine on the "significant experience/dilemma" essay

“Dude, this

homework is so gay.” This horrid

statement shows one use of a standard slang term in today’s society. Gay,

meaning homosexual, has come to mean “stupid,” “annoying” or “ridiculous.” I am

not completely innocent, as I have used the slang before. However, this

derogatory word often hurts and embarrasses homosexuals, implying that they are

“stupid,” “annoying” or “ridiculous” as well. Working at a gay-friendly store has

helped me become aware of the pain and humiliation that is associated with this

insulting phrase.

As stressful as

the college search is, I am able to focus my search based on one quality:

location. I know that I want a school that has the small town life that I have

grown up loving, yet I also want easy access to the wonderful experience of

city life. I was born and raised in a rural, western Massachusetts farm town of

roughly 900 people. The close-knit feeling of the town is one of its main

attractions. However, as I became older I began to take it for granted. I

couldn’t wait to get out of town and experience city life. Cummington, however,

has been one of the most important factors in my upbringing. Memories of going

to the local general store with my father on Saturday mornings still burn fresh

in my mind. Around 1999, the town was shaken by the news that the store had changed

ownership. The previous owners, a local family, sold the store to some of the

unlikeliest owners: two lesbians.

Beginning in the

spring of my sophomore year of high school, I worked as a dishwasher at The Old

Creamery Grocery Store. The store is known for its organic selection and its

famous macaroni and cheese. However, it is known more for its owners. The store

is owned by life partners Amy and Alice. These women are some of the nicest and

down to earth people I have ever met, and, had my mom not convinced me to apply

for the job, I probably would never have gotten to know them. When my mom

encouraged me to give it a shot, I was petrified. My first thought was “Great,

I’m going to work with gay people.” However, I soon realized that they were

similar to many of the other people in this area. They listen to the same music

and they have the same sense of humor as everyone else. I began to develop

friendships with some of my co-workers. As these friendships grew, so did my

respect for homosexuals. I started to understand how hurtful those derogatory

comments were. I vowed to attempt to change my language, and to encourage

others to do so as well. Due to my work experience at The Old Creamery, I have

gained an enormous amount of respect for individuals who are not ashamed to be

who they are.

The time that I

spent in such a gay-friendly environment has allowed me to become sympathetic

to those who suffer the effects of the offensive phrase. I have changed since

then in that I try to refrain from using terms that may offend someone. Also, I

have come to admire the people in this world that are not afraid to be

themselves. It feels nice to be a part of a generation that is more accepting,

and hopefully my kids and grandkids will live in an even more progressive time.

 
thanks for the props, and good essay^. it's definately something unique and not a situation that everyone has been through, so i thought it was a real good topic.
 
heres a grade 11 english essay, with quite a debatable topic:

Kraft Dinner: Spoon or Fork?



If one is to partake in

eating Kraft Dinner, one must first acquire the proper utensils to carry it

out; for the issue of eating Kraft dinner with a fork or spoon is not a simple

decision, but rather a complex matter. There are many assets that the spoon has

to offer that the fork does not. The spoon offers a wide concave surface,

whereas the fork provides a slender sharp form that is essential for jabbing

and mobility. When choosing the correct utensil for eating Kraft Dinner, one

must also closely examine the texture of the food, the amount it is cooked, and

so on. One may base his or her decision on this essential factor. Lastly, a

spoon is more suitable for consumers of all ages, as they do not have sharp and

potentially dangerous points, unlike a fork. In this utensil debate, it seems

that the spoon prevails.



The broad and enveloping surface of a spoon is ideal

for a comfort food, as it allows one to insert a larger amount of food into the

mouth each time. Consumers who enjoy gorging find this method of eating ideal.

In contrast, forks hold little amounts of the tube-like Kraft dinner pasta.

Some users may find that the pasta falls off the fork frequently, making it

impractical and time-consuming. Some of the less mature eaters find forks

entertaining, as individual pieces of pasta can be slid onto the prongs of the

fork. Overall, the spoon is the dominant utensil in this respect.



Kraft Dinner is a food which can be prepared in a

variety of ways, and is usually cooked by inexperienced chefs. Due to this

fact, Kraft Dinner can come out undercooked, at al dente consistency, and it

can also be overcooked. Both spoons and forks perform well in undercooked

conditions; however, spoons are superior when the pasta is overcooked, as a

fork would merely tear up the soft and deteriorating pasta. It is evident that the spoon is versatile, and

is appropriate for all eating conditions. Another enticing feature which the

spoon bears is the ability to contain the cheese sauce. When extra milk is

added for a creamier sauce, it can be eaten with the pasta, whereas the sauce

would only drip through the hopeless prongs of the fork. As world renowned chef

Emeril Lagasse once so boldly stated, “I don’t limit myself [to a fork].”



An aspect that must be taken into consideration is

that the easily made processed pasta is enjoyed by all ages, although, the two

biggest target markets of Kraft Dinner are young children and college students.

In the case of young children, the indented concave structure of the spoon,

allows more food to spoon ratio for the less advanced eaters. Additionally, it

does not have any sharp dangerous edges that could potentially harm its user.

In 1999, a tragic incident occurred when a nine year-old boy, who had

challenged motor skills, accidentally stabbed himself in the eye, which

resulted in permanent blindness. This is just one occurrence which could be

avoided with the use of a spoon over a fork. As for college students, the spoon

is a necessary tool for making Kraft Dinner. Living in a dorm room, a very

large concern is cleanliness and lack of utensils. Therefore it is incredibly

important to be able to make Kraft Dinner with the least amount of dishes

possible and the spoon can be used in all steps of preparing the meal making it

the ideal form of silverware. From the stirring of the pasta, to brewing the

cheese, and eventually enjoying the meal itself, the spoon is the superior instrument.



When the two common household forms of cutlery are

thoroughly analyzed, the parabolic shape, universal applications, and the easy

to operate qualities of the spoon prove it to be the dominating utensil over

the fork. The spoon allows the eater to consume more pasta at one time, while

providing smooth comfort. The spoon has enough versatility to contain the

pasta, no matter how it is cooked. The spoon is also the safest utensil to use,

as it is smooth and has no sharp points, unlike the fork. The fork has many

characteristics which are certainly useful in different situations; however,

the spoon is the best choice when specifically eating Kraft Dinner. Be that as

it may, one may wonder, what if one was to eat Kraft Dinner with a spork?

 
Colleges have been looking for more and more satirical essays about witty and interesting things rather than an essay about yourself. A few ivy-leagues actually have applicants draw a picture instead of write an essay now. I wanted my topic to be how hard it is be an upper-middle class white male in todays society, but my guidance counselor thought it was too "risky"

I wont post mine at the moment because its on our downstairs computer. I actually wrote it one night when I couldn't sleep at like 2 in the morning, after editing it came out really well though.
 
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