13840348:Rparr said:
you should read this if you're looking for motivation to continue the break, it might be the most important thing I've ever read:
https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/5yzwyr/tutorial_how_to_quit_weed_and_be_happy/
That was pretty damn powerful to read, and I get where the writer was coming from. I've been watching "Neen Williams on sobriety" a few times on YouTube recently during this whole break and it helps keep me going, at least for skating as of now. The thing that's motivating me to stay away from weed for a little isn't the dependency I built off it, not the pain I occasionally get after to many big bong rips, or even my parents being annoyed I smoked everyday. It's the fact that I'm 20 years old and I'm not even in school nor considering to be at least for a year or two, working a shit part time job (only a few more days), and i only have 1 good friend around while my true best friends are all away from me enjoying their lives just begging for me to join them out west. I'm kind of a bum at this point and although I enjoyed it, it's time to change from it.
I never went down any dark path during my long term use, whether or not I'm stoned I make people laugh, can converse on many topics and still function like a normal human being. And even when I'm out of weed I find myself doing the same things I do stoned, just sometimes better. I just had an epiphany that i don't need to get home everyday after my 4-7 hour shift running a register or stocking and light up, I realized it's almost time to do the one thing I've loved since I was in first grade, skiing, and that if I continue to kill half ounces every 9 days I wouldn't even be able to afford a season pass this year, unless I grew up and put responsibilities first. Ever since I started smoking I thought "I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life" but recently it's kinda hit me, I know kids who use to be like me and now they're doing very well without it and claim to feel better without it. My main issue was boredom and the fact that I enjoyed being a stoner, but I was almost slipping to a degenerate level, smoking 3 bongs, rolling a doob and going into my back woods at times. It just became to much. I still consider it to be like my "alcohol" since I kinda hate drinking but it's not really a good way to put it anymore. I also just wanted to lower my tolerance for a while but it was hard over the summer having the homies around everyday and now that all my friends who are home are working full time, I might as well lay off and do the same.
I also need to step back and focus on my health before I continue usage, i was always stoned and knew that I should probably workout and start eating better, which has slowly been growing. I still need to build on it before ski season comes around, otherwise I'm gonna just get sore and stop for a while and become very rusty which is awful cause not to brag, I can toss when I have the energy too toss.
I'm not trying to stop smoking, I just really need to set my life up to what I have in mind before I continue with any consistent usage, which is to save up and live in SLC with my best buds so I can enjoy skiing while I'm young and to also get out of my parents house, and they want me to do the same and I still might just breakdown one day and go there on short notice. I was thinking earlier how even though I see all these guys I follow on SM ripping fancy Sov and toro pieces, I'm not even craving the need to go into my shed and rip the bong although it's partially cause I'm dry. I've just been enjoying the sobriety lately I love chilling outside with my dog while she's still around, going skating and actually landing tricks, and feeling better connected to my parents, who understand the weed lifestyle but don't support being a pothead bum.
After smoking after a week without it I realized how nice it is to do it every so often, not take a bong rip and be all "uhhhh hahaha" at the tv at 3 in the afternoon, and that I at least wait til weekends I can enjoy a bowl and feel great. I also wanna focus on this new job I have, it's not super hard by the sound of it but it's something I wanna put effort into compared to cashiering and putting out freight at a shitty store, I'm sure by the end of the 40 hour week I'll be dying for a puff to ease off but we'll just see. This piece is gonna help me continue, and although i might piff tomorrow if my friend comes home for the weekend, but by no means am I gonna buy anything so that I don't get home after and piff again.
I appreciate the help, I've heard this before from my oldest brother who actually went through hard shit years ago but with harder drugs I know I'll never turn to, he smokes occasionally but when it's kinda ok for him too. It's just difficult coming to terms with the fact that there's a time to slow down, and sometimes it's earlier than others. I still just love the plant and what it's opened my eyes too, music, friends, experiences like skiing or hiking and other common things like that. I'm not sure when I'll start again and when the consistent use picks up, I just wanna make sure that in 2 months I have a new pair of planks, a season pass, and a body ready to go off in the park this season, it's one of themost important things in my life and although weed is one of my favorite things to do off the clock, I don't want it to cause a financial and mentle struggle for me.
It comes down to the whole "work before you play" type deal for me, and it's just became playing more than working recently. I'm excited to continue the break but also excited to buy some dank green again and make sure if fucking lasts so I can actually enjoy it the way I first did back in high school.
