The "Im Drunk" Thread

I just took the taxi home, and the driver loved me.

Had my head out the window the whole time saying hi to people, only to get the response of "fuck you". Which the taxi driver loved, even more so when I yelled "OK!" to everyone.

I think I made his night.

As for everything else tonight.

 
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im glad this thread wasnt hard to find.i went t the bar wearing a wolf shirt, came home with two flags. 'murca
 
FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

im in miami and i wasnt allowed in the bachelor party so i had to pay 80 bucks for a cab back to a hotel where i could stay!!! at least i have wifi, weed, and maybe some bitches. oh and some MDMA. HARDCORE NIGGASFUCKAROUNDLIKEFUCKINGSLUTS
 
I suck at talking to girls. but the girls I was talking to last night i didnt want to do any thing with, i just wanted to hang out and have a good time. Kept on getting like wierd vibes of that they are interested in me and they would talk for like 10 min, then they would leave and just never come back and I would have to go run around the party looking like an idiot trying to go find them. fucking girls
 
last night i ended up shotgunning a beer underwater while naked, peeing on a couch and rug also naked, stealing cupcakes by hiding them in the sombrero i was wearing, and i woke up this morning with blood on my sheets and a severely burnt tongue
 
you put it up to your lips without opening the top and then submerge yourself leaving just the top of the can out of the water and proceed from there. it's called torpedoing
 
So this is a little bit late of a reply, but I am drunk and it still is eduactional, so I think this is relevant. Never, ever, EVER EVER ever, give the cops a fake ID. It will ALWAYS get you in more trouble than if you just gave them your real ID. Fake+cops=bad. Real+cop=good.

Btw, I got hammered tonight while working on my senior paper playing the Dream Girls drinking game: drink every time a full musical number happens, and drink every time Eddy Murphy's character does any drug. Check it. GUARD_PUMA OUT
 
Im watching friends with benifits by myself drunk, holy shit mila kunis is soo damn hot. I want to fuckin whack it right now but I took the pledge of no porn/ jerkin it. Might call the ex over later tonight for some slap and tickle
 
DO IT! Pics of ex are needed.

Also I fit into this threat at the moment. Fuck yeah $2 bottles of wine.

Getting blown drunk is the shit
 
I got hammered at the ski team social, my sober roomate picked me up, took me to taco bell like a champ, then they forgot my burrito, went back around, and they gave me the burrito AND CINNAMON TWISTS, FUCK YES!!!!!!!!! so yeah i have class at 8am, its 2am, woooh. yea college
 
How old are you?

I always think you are like 23+

But you could be 16 for all I could know.

Drunkthoughts
 
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