The Homeless

cj

cj

Active member
Anyone here know any cool homeless people. I met this one guy Gary who says hes not homless, he is 'lacationaly challanged'. Me and him talk alot. He actualy chooses to be homless for some reason...i dont get it. But ya, we talk alot. He told me a cool story about how when he lived downtown he didnt cary a knife or anything, just a bottle of hairspray and a lighter, he told me alot about how to burn peoples faces...no joke. Gary is dope. Hes like one of the coolest homless people i know, if not one of the coolest people people i know.

Dave is also realy cool but he isant homless. He lives with his brother and tells me about his depression and his skitso pills he has to take. Dave is pretty cool, i see him all the time at the store. Apparently he did way too much acid and never became normal again...oh well, i learn lots form these guys.

Anyone else know any cool homless people or other crazy folk that have influenced theur lives?

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fuck shit ass cunt
 
dude theres this drunk hobo named jim in brattleboro who nevre remembers anybody, but will be happy to talk to you whoever you are, hes kinda cool, i guess hes a total ass to women though

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Dan Maguire

Yankees Suck

'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

'It's not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson
 
When I was 14, we used to get 'Tex' the local homeless guy to buy us booze. Then we stopped, cuz he was weird. Tex got hit by a train a couple of years ago, and now he's dead.

'I've had some good sex, but it's not very reliable. You can't phone up the sex report, ya know? You can phone up the snow report'...Crucial Mike

 
dude, burnin peoples faces, SO FUCKIN COOL

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'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Bonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg
 
I knew this guy who we called jesus.. he wrote scribbles in his notbook all day, and read philosphy...

-Pat

WBP|films

you're all so worthless
 
theres a homeless guy in my town everybody calls papa gus. hes a vietnam veteran and hes a little nutty but everybody likes helpin him out. all the store owners in town give him free food, free clothes, free necessities basically. he supposedly saved a lot of peoples lives in vietnam and hes got lots of medals and stuff that he always wears. hes a very proud yet humble man. i dont understand why hes homeless though. but hes cool he tells us war stories and hes a really smart guy. he was a POW and he killed 3 vietnamese soldiers with a sharpened TV knob and escaped with some other prisoners, pretty hardcore mcgiver style guy.

-paul

i think i think i like it like thata
 
well at HN session 4 me and brandon (skifreak) were going to 7-11 coming from the market place hotel and he was like, i gotta take a piss, so he stops at this randon dorrway outside, at the top of the staircase at the 2nd story landing and just starts pissing on the door and im like, what the fuck, so he keeps on pissing and this crazy german dude pops out of the door and brandon is pulling his pants up and running away while the german guy is shouting in german and kicking him in the ass, it was sooo funny, and we laughed all the way to 7-ll, but anyways the story about a bum pissing on a wall just reminded me of that

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HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
 
No disrespect or anything, but you people seem really sheltered. A good friend of my in HS was homeless. He hitchhiked across Canada and back. When he got back we worked 3 jobs just to keep himself busy, but that didn't help his scitzo (sp?). He ended up getting checked into the Royal Ottawa Hospital (hospital for people with mental issues) when he tried to highjack a bus.

- - - - -

'If you cut us do we not bleed. If you tickle us do we not laugh. If you poison us do we not die. If you wrong us do we not revenge.' - I have no idea, but it's quoted in the Pianist
 
theres this dude in my town this name is chew, hes the HS baseball teams ball boy, he jumps in creeks and shit to get the balls back, he wears a baseball helmet and full uniform, he plays football and baseball by himself its funny to watch, and he rides this bmx bike to all the baseball games like 10 miles away, hes nuts and has metal problems

-erikolson
 
I hit a hobo in the back with an empty 40 bottle I threw out the back of a truck doing like 60kph. He was a good sport about it.

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'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'

'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

don fok wif me ruf sker wist syde crue nga

 
There's a guy in my town and he lives in the woods and flips on anyone who comes near him. then once he came into town to watch the Grinch at the theater and he sat next to me, and he kept laughing hysterically and slapping my back, then he'd turn to me and, while laughing, repeat the line that the Grinch had just said. but then he murdered an old lady a couple months ago.

Girls don't like sensitive guys. Since I don't treat women like objects, I have to treat objects like women.

 
i recommend www.bumhunt.com for all of you, go now. its the greatest site of all time...concerning bums anywaay.

Joel
 
one time me and my friend met this homeless black dude named T. he told us about his custody battle with his 'bitzch' and we bought him lunch at Burger King. he was so dope cuz he had a real high pitched voice like mike tyson. wait a minute....

*$* *$* *$* *$* *$* *$*

Official NS Pirate!

sms.session.four
 
there's this bum near my house named jason. he's one of the coolest people iv'e ever met. he sits downtown all day and talks to random people about random shit. when he was young he smoked himself retarded and now he can't work. so he chills on the bench waiting to have a conversation with the next person who walks by.

 
what was he smokin

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'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Bonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg
 
one time i was downtown chillin and this homeless guy started randomly talking to me. it was great we had this whole conversation about diferent stuff and he was telling me and my friend how good the weed was back in his day and how he grew this plant once that was 8 feet tall and how he smoked a shit load and went home and he was totally stoned and his mom was their too and he had 2 try and act normal. aww good times good times

___________________

i have a shitty sig
 
There's this sick homeless guy named Tom in Burlington, I talk to him every week. He tells me about his sex life and how he is always doing girls on playgrounds. He told me this story once about his first time giving a girl oral pleasure, he was in his dads new T-Birgd with white vinyl seats and he was doing it in the back seat and she is like 'Oh man... my stomach doesn't feel so good' while he's doing it and he's like 'Uhh want me to stop?' and she's like 'No no no' and then a few seconds later she took a HUGE DUMP in his face and all over the car. Then he had to explain the POOP STAINS to his dad. But man this guy is so cool.

-Lauren

The Official 'Sweet Ass Bitch' of The NDSC
 
niiice lauren

was he the one who drove the truck around with the dog in the back?

i read in the paper today that someone stole a homeless persons wheelchair

it was sad

 
I don't know if Tom can drive, I have seen him on a scooter before, but I don't think it was his... I totally want to beat up a blind person someday, well if they deserved it.

-Lauren

The Official 'Sweet Ass Bitch' of The NDSC
 
we have Uncle Sam. This bum who wanders the streets preaching, dressed as Uncle Sam. Plus we have hudreds of other homeless but most of them are mean crack junkies. They live in this homeless city of tents down by the Kalamazoo river. There is like a murder a week.

Fritz

'Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing'- Sir Thomas Beecham

'What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?' - Hobbes

'When you smoke herb it reveals you to yourself.'

Bob Marley

*-FRITZ-*
 
we hang out with this guy outside the bowling alley all the time. he always buys us beer as long as we spot him a few

the artist formally known as sleezemcfly and skimonkey05

member number 22196, 21088, and 6089

 
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