Simonfiller, if you want to spam up a thread with pointless propaganda (and on occasion bald-faced lies, Kerry, over his career, is far right of Ted Kennedy), you might as well make it even. With that in mind:
RESUME
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
- I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
- I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.
- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
-All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!
Or this equally trashy piece of e-literature...
Past work experience:
a.. Ran for congress and lost.
b.. Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
c.. Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil
in Texas, company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
d.. Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that
took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded
Sammy Sosa to the
Chicago Cubs.
e.. With fathers help (and his name) was elected
Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and
oil companies and
made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
Replaced Los Angeles
with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
Cut taxes and
bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of
billions in borrowed
money. Set record for most executions by any Governor
in American
history.
f.. Became president after losing the popular vote by
over 500,000
votes, with the hel
p of my fathers appointments to the
Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
a.. Attacked and took over two countries.
b.. Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
c.. Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in
history.
d.. Set economic record for most private bankruptcies
filed in any 12
month period.
e.. Set all-time record for biggest drop in the
history of the stock
market.
f.. First president in decades to execute a federal
prisoner.
g.. First president in US history to enter office with
a criminal
record.
h.. First year in office set the all-time record for
most days on
vacation by any president in US history.
i.. After taking the entire month of August off for
vacation, presided
over the worst security failure in US history.
j.. Set the record for most campaign fund-raising
trips than any other
president in US history.
k.. In my first two years in o
ffice over 2 million
Americans lost their
job.
l.. Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work
Americans than any
president in US history.
m.. Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12 month period.
n.. Appointed more convicted criminals to
administration positions than
any president in US history.
o.. Set the record for the least amount of press
conferences than any
president since the advent of television.
p.. Signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than
any president in US history.
q.. Presided over the biggest energy crises in US
history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
r.. Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US
history and refused
to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
s.. Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
t.. Set the all-time record for most people worldwide
to simultaneously
take to the st
reets to protest me (15 million people),
shattering the
record for protest against any person in the history
of mankind.
(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches
/)
u.. Dissolved more international treaties than any
president in US
history.
v.. My presidency is the most secretive and
un-accountable of any in US
history.
w.. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US
history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Con
doleeza
Rice has an Exxon
oil tanker named after her).
x.. First president in US history to have all 50
states of the Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.
y.. Presided over the biggest corporate stock market
fraud of any market
in any country in the history of the world.
z.. First president in US history to order a US attack
and military
occupation of a sovereign nation.
aa.. Created the largest government department
bureaucracy in the
history of the United States.
ab.. Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget
spending
increases, more than any president in US history.
ac.. First president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the
US from the human rights commission.
ad.. First president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the
US from the elections monitoring board.
ae.. Removed more checks and balances, and have the
least amount of
congressional oversight than any
presidential
administration in US
history.
af.. Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
ag.. Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
ah.. Refused to allow inspectors access to US
prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
ai.. First president in US history to refuse United
Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
aj.. All-time US (and world) record holder for most
corporate campaign
donations.
ak.. My biggest life-time campaign contributor
presided over one of the
largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history
(Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
al.. Spent more money on polls and focus groups than
any president in US
history.
am.. First president in US history to unilaterally
attack a sovereign
nation against the will of the United Nations and the
world community.
an.. First president to run and hide when the US ca
me
under attack (and
then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force
1)
ao.. First US president to establish a secret shadow
government.
ap.. Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after
911, and in less
than a year made the US the most resented country in
the world (possibly
the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world
history).
aq.. With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the
most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
ar.. First US president in history to have a majority
of the people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat
to world peace and
stability.
as.. First US president in history to have the people
of South Korea
more threatened by the US than their immediate
neighbor, North Korea.
at.. Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to
be awarded
government contracts.
au.. Set all-time record for number of administration
appointees
who
violated US law by not selling huge investments in
corporations bidding
for government contracts.
av.. Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin
Laden 'dead or alive'.
aw.. Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to
murder the
leaders of our country at the United States Capital
building. After 18
months I have no leads and zero suspects.
ax.. In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have
successfully
prevented any public investigation into the biggest
security failure in
the history of the United States.
ay.. Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for
Americans than any
other president in US history.
az.. In a little over two years created the most
divided country in
decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever
been since the civil
war.
ba.. Entered office with the strongest economy in US
history and in less
than two years turned every single economic category
heading
straight
down.
Records and References:
a.. At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).
b.. AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military
during a time of
war.
c.. Refuse to take drug test or even answer any
questions about drug
use.
d.. All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have
been spirited
away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and
un-available for
public view.
e.. All records of any SEC investigations into my
insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
un-available for public
view.
f.. All minutes of meetings for any public corporation
I served on the
board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for
public view.
g.. Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)
attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
un-available for public
review.
h
. For personal references please speak to my daddy
or uncle James
Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the
Carlyle Group for
war-profiteering.)
Come on guys. These things are bullshit. Sure, there's some truth in there, but if it sways you... you need a little more information.
------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always
Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...