The Common Gaper

[douchebagmdgee]

So i was tutoring this girl in math, as I do because I'm good at math etc.. anyways I told her that I couldn't wait for winter and she asked why. I said for skiing of course, and she said oh thats so cool, I've always wanted to go skiing. I was like you should, she said are you good? Can you do backflips? I said yes... She said can you do 360s? I said yes... Then I realized I had come across a first rate encounter with a Common Gaper (genus: handicappera-gaperilus).

 

[thebeesknees]

Sometimes I cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending to be a slug.

 

[crazysincethe80s]

You can't backflip don't lie

 

[Flying~Squirrel]

doesnt matter, had sex

 

[douchebagmdgee]

sorry i just wanted to impress her :'(

 

[max...]

is she cute? if so that's a perfect opportunity to make a love connection

 

[midwestpowhunter]

pics or it didnt happen

 

[GILLSKI]

this thread would be way better with spiderman in it

 

[douchebagmdgee]

nope. my standards are far too high, which is also probably why i dont have a girlfriend. needless to say she is kind of maybe sorta not attractive... if i put it nicely

 

[thenightman]

description of boobs or this thread is complete useless. Although assuming OP is 12 there will be nothing to describe.

 

[bangarangmules]

Don't you have to ski to be a gaper though?

 

[douchebagmdgee]

fair enough, thread is now broken and im going to go cry in shame

 

[douchebagmdgee]

im 11 tyvm, and her tits are aight. c cup id say, but shes a bit on the chunky side

 

[KillaSteeze]

if the girl is 11 theres no way she has "aight" tits

 

[douchebagmdgee]

why would i be tutoring if i was actually 11... shes 17, /sarcasm

 

[KillaSteeze]

why did u say u were 11 then

 

[douchebagmdgee]

because someone said "OP is probably 12" so i thought id be sarcastic back

 

[theabortionator]

sometimes i touch myself while watching oprah and blasting dashboard confessional

 

[thenightman]

sorry, but i assume everyone on ns that makes threads like...

This:

https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/697526/

this:

https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/697442/

this:

https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/697424/

and this:

https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/697523/

are 12 years old.

 

[douchebagmdgee]

 

[snakerton]

i never know what to say in those situations like "are you good?" I'm not about to be yeah I'm hella good but at the same time i don't want them to think I'm some shitty skier

 

[cwphoto]

same with me. you can either go the 'yeah sometimes i chill with tom wallisch and we throw dubs together" route or the " yea... i guess I'm pretty good.."

 

[douchebagmdgee]

and then they are like "who is tom wallisch"

 

[cwphoto]

time to facepalm and leave the room

haha but really this is a regular situation for me. Im very used to explaining who tammy whamsticks is

 

[snakerton]

exactly. sometimes i just go eh, i do alright but then they think im that kind of skier that goes up 5 times a year and sits in the lodge

 

[douchebagmdgee]

I've never had to. Partially because i don't usually talk to girls about skiing.. or girls in general

 

[.AR6rider.]

I rate this story bullshit/10, just like 99% of the stories about gapers on NS. The whole, "can you do a backflip?" thing is so fucking overused and untrue. Get the fuck out of here, OP.

 

[cwphoto]

a loooong time ago i actually got the "can you backflip" question

to which i replied no

 

[snakerton]

from who? fellow ns or someone at school?

 

[cwphoto]

kid at school. it was way before i became a member on ns

 

[snakerton]

haha yeah thats what i though. often i get "can you do flips and stuff?"

 

[cwphoto]

haha nice

 

[SpaghettiWizard]

Can you backflip?

 

[LIL-WAT]

 

[I_Am_Mod]

it's cool that you've met someone who isn't a freeskier...you must meet a lot of people ....

 

[steezysteeze]

Going up the lift with a little kid always yields this question at my hill.

 

[JWeinstock]

condensending wonka...

 

[Barefootin_Fiend]

same here. at least once a week.

 

[Casper.]

J@k3 always has quality posts.

I lol'd

 

[T.CORC]

lost so hard hhaha

 

[Dr.Gonzo]

im sorry, weather or not you can do a backflip, when a gayper girl asks you your saying yes. It's different then with mans.

 

[Mr.Sloth]

I always tell them I can do this trick called the Horizontal Striking Rooster

 

[abathinggrape]

I tape my dog to my stomach and pretend I'm a seahorse