The best gaper quotes

i get on a bus with my skis strapped base to base, the bus driver asks, "is that one of those trick skis" i say, "uhm yeah?" he says, "isn't it hard to ski with a foot holder on the bottom too?"
 
About a week ago I had some gapper come up the lift I was working with his rentals on backwards, they are some shitty rossi which happen to be twin tipped with plastic coverings at the tips. I try to get them off and tell him they are backwards, he tells me he is now way cooler than the rest of his friends because his bindings flip up at the front. i just laughed and walked away
 
"I'm gonna go ride the box! It's the same as riding on snow!"

a two buses of teenage boys from a local jewish day school rolled into our resort. It was a legit take over. Never seen so many yamakas in my life.
 
I did that once (I have FKS) and I got stuck in them lol. I had to have my friend help me get out.

I dont think you'll be able to ski that way though. There is little control
 
gaper 1: Both of the things are jumps, even the thing you land on.
gaper 2: Ya, you just dont have to get any air off of them.
 
I always wear my helmet skiing, never without it. I was running through a parking lot area with lots of thick metal arched signs all over the place. He ran right under, me being 6'5" cracked my head open on it. also partly due to my LRG hat I was wearing and since it was dark i failed to see the sign. there is now 10 stitches in my head and my hat has a permanent indent in it from the sign.
 
3 different people said this to me at my hill today. After the 2nd time i was pretty fucking annoyed, and by the 3rd time well.....

" Yeah, so the new Snowboard park they put in looks pretty cool, huh? "
 
me: (doing a 270 on to a lil box and i clipped my ski and fell)

gaper: "OOOO YOU SUCK!"

me: "haha really funny mr RENTAL SKIS"

gaper 1 + gaper 2: "at least we can afford rental skis!"
 
my friend told her boyfriend that she had been trying boxes all day and he simply replied:

"don't be silly babe, you can't do a box or a rail on skis."

needless to say, she dumped the tool.
 
i'm puttin my skis on at the top of the park and this like 40 year old snowboarder man in gaper clothes comes up, falls down next to me.

gaper: i hope i have enough booze in me to do this.

me: ok...

go down take the lift up and he's still sitting there.

gaper: hey you wanna race?

me. no...

gaper: yea i asked like 40 people already today and no one wants to. i think theyre scared.

then he skis away and falls in like 5 seconds.

Another day we were waitin outside for my friend a little girl went to get her skis/poles out of the rack and she took my poles and her mom said, "no those aren't yours, they're way too short" haha yeee

also have gotten this year,

are those doubles? and

where do you buy shirts that big
 
one time i was riding at brighton boarding, but there was this way gaper guy standing right behind the lip the big bertha, so no one was going so i decided to go, i tall tapped his head and he fell down the landing i felt bad but laughed anyways haha
 
Yeah, I missed my whole first season of skiing due to a re-injured collar bone. Was tobogganing new years day, hit some sticky snow, got hucked forward. It took 12 weeks to heal, which was twice as long as the 1st time and unfortunately it was my right arm so I still had to go to school(yup, I'm a lefty).

So in short I know how you feel.

Actual gaper quote:

I was waitng in line for the handle tow(because my hill is 100 vertical feet)and I overhear this girl in full rental gear explaining to her friends that she doesn't like goggles because they're hard to see with.

I'll likely get more this weekend when I go to Asessippi this weekend and ride an actual chairlift instead of a towrope. Hopefully there's a race comp going on when I go so I get a gold rush of ignorance.
 
haha I love gapers sometimes, they make my day everytime they speak.

someone in the park asked me once "aren't those tall t-shirts only for boys??"

me wearing a 6xl t-shirt.
 
oh and a mom from a race kid said once, (while pointing at 2 of my friends who were wearing tall tees and stuff) "look, the guys here wear dresses!" and I think she was serious..
 
this little black kid obviously boarding for the first time, after my friend threw a backflip was like "HOLY SHITTTT THAT BITCH FLIPPIN" and he screamed it ahha
 
Yeah, I ski with my bro Steven, and my friends Steven Reda and Brandon Hicks, usually at spring or stony, or I go to Falcon Ridge, Holiday Mountain(but not this season as it sucked last year) Frostfire, and 2 yearly trips to Asessippi(1 with my bro and dad, and then on the Free Press trip).

Are you also an unlucky flatland rider? Maybe I've seen you. What's your suit colours? I'm always looking to build my crew.
 
Me skiing in austira and going up in the gondola. I have to take my skis with me inside there because you cant put them on the outside. I had old Volkl dogen(around 80 underfoot) in 178 and im like 6'2''This gaper family with one kids.
Dad: so are those powder skis?Me: ....meh not really those are park skisDad: But you can go into the powder with them?Me: ...yeah?Kid: Can you ride upside down?Me: you mean backwards?Kid: yeah yeah yeah!Me: yes!
Kid and father were super impressed and asked me a lot of more questions, but i didnt listen.
Another time with Rossi S6 skis i heard 2 gapers behind me and they had new head race skis.
Gaper#1: look at those skis, they are snowboardsGaper#2: He probably can't ski with them
Me (pissed off and turned around): Are those the new Jon Olsson pro modelsGaper#1: YES!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck these guys :-D fuck gapers
 
not necessarily gaper, but i was at jiminy peak one night and these two dudes working the lift thought the length of my poles was hilarious. "whatd you pay, half price for those?" "did you break your poles?" not much variety beyond that. it got old quick
 
so my friends wanted to put an edit together and we were recruiting dudes to be in it and the kid who was filming who boards was like "lets get chris he can backflip" so i was like "can he 7?"him: "no but he is so sick!"me: hating my gapers of friends
 
yah one time i was sitting on a lift with some people and this kid asks the guy sitting next to me hey r those skis the ones with the two tips?? while pointing at his racing skiis...
 
This is reasonable. I don't like skiing with goggles at all. If I can I'll be skiing in sunglasses, pretty much only use goggles on days where it's snowing.
 
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