The bad pun thread

[nochill]

Bring your best/worst puns to the table now. Here's my contribution. The shovel was truly groundbreaking but it was the broom that swept the nation.

 

[JGWI]

Me and my recliner go way back.

 

[shin-bang]

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

 

[270on420out]

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

 

[stinky_cheese]

how do you get holy water? boil the hell out of it

 

[skiersupreme]

two dress shirts were in a race, but it ended in a tie.

 

[Zurg]

ur mum

 

[Zurg]

ur mum

 

[Brule.]

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

[buzzlightyear]

ur mum

you have got to be kitten me.

 

[mike759]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

 

[iSmokeweed]

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/609362/PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS

 

[Zurg]

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/609362/PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS

good one

 

[SteezOnSkis12]

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef

What do you call a cow with all four legs? Your Mom

 

[.otto.]

WHAT DID THE FISH SAY WHEN HE HIT A WALL??!!

"DAM!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[Ski_The_E]

What about science puns?

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me... That's a salt.

I told a history major a chem joke today... There was no reaction.

Not a pun but still a solid science joke:

Schrodinger and Heisenberg were driving on the freeway when a cop pulls them over.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" asked the cop

"No, but I knew where I was." responded Heisenberg

"You were going 100." said the officer, confused.

"Damnit! Now I'm lost!" he responded

Suspecting drug use, the officer checked the trunk.

"What the fuck?! You guys have a dead cat back here!!"

Schrodinger responds "Well we do now, asshole!"

 

[.FRY.]

deez nuts

 

[steeze4days]

deez nuts

HA GOTEEEM.

 

[Craze]

Me and my recliner go way back.

Hahahaha that was punny!