the absolute dumbest jokes you've ever heard
- Thread starter petek
- Start date
DENALI44
Member
Q: so why did the woman cross the road?
A: who the hell cares, what is she doing out of the kitchen
Q: why do women have boobs?
A: so you got something to look at when they are talking to you
i actually like these jokes,just thought id share them
Believing in jesus is like believing in santa claus, once you reach a certain age you realize that it's all made up
A: who the hell cares, what is she doing out of the kitchen
Q: why do women have boobs?
A: so you got something to look at when they are talking to you
i actually like these jokes,just thought id share them
Believing in jesus is like believing in santa claus, once you reach a certain age you realize that it's all made up
Apple
Active member
Q: when is a car not a car?
A: when it turns into a drive way
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Oooohhhhhhhh, 'straight edge', that sounds so hardcore, I guess it's just better than saying 'I'm a sanctimonious pussy who thinks he's better than everyone else.'' -Gdawg3
A: when it turns into a drive way
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Oooohhhhhhhh, 'straight edge', that sounds so hardcore, I guess it's just better than saying 'I'm a sanctimonious pussy who thinks he's better than everyone else.'' -Gdawg3
cobble_hills
Member
why dont women wear watches?
beacuse theres a clock on the stove
beacuse theres a clock on the stove
steeze_it_up
Member
why did the chicken cross the road?...
because i kicked it
he is too new to know about the old school newschoolers.
- linemaverick540
because i kicked it
he is too new to know about the old school newschoolers.
- linemaverick540
joeengel
Active member
1 black joke)
why are black people so tall?....becuase their knee grows (negros)
1 physics joke)
why did the chicken cross teh road?.... y not (physics term for initial y postion)
the last one
how do you make martha stewert cry twice? fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the drapes
$$ ICED OUT RACING $$
toss your salad outta here
why are black people so tall?....becuase their knee grows (negros)
1 physics joke)
why did the chicken cross teh road?.... y not (physics term for initial y postion)
the last one
how do you make martha stewert cry twice? fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the drapes
$$ ICED OUT RACING $$
toss your salad outta here
steeze_it_up
Member
i like the martha one
he is too new to know about the old school newschoolers.
- linemaverick540
je suis un pizza(I am a pizza)
avec du fromage(with cheese)
je mange le petit chevre(I eat little goats)
avec le pepperoni(with pepperoni)
he is too new to know about the old school newschoolers.
- linemaverick540
je suis un pizza(I am a pizza)
avec du fromage(with cheese)
je mange le petit chevre(I eat little goats)
avec le pepperoni(with pepperoni)
drewishish
Active member
wat is purple adn hanging off my porch
barnie hanging
'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
barnie hanging
'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
hoodratz47
Active member
why do black peopel have white hands... caue they were on a wall when god shit on the...
what does it mean when the flag is half mast at teh post office... ther hiring...
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'Iam sittin here in my Ns hoodie, i have my goggles on and my silk pj's.. God!! i want to ski.. Shorty -T
what does it mean when the flag is half mast at teh post office... ther hiring...
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'Iam sittin here in my Ns hoodie, i have my goggles on and my silk pj's.. God!! i want to ski.. Shorty -T
hoodratz47
Active member
^^^^ HOLY FUCKK> BHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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'Iam sittin here in my Ns hoodie, i have my goggles on and my silk pj's.. God!! i want to ski.. Shorty -T
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'Iam sittin here in my Ns hoodie, i have my goggles on and my silk pj's.. God!! i want to ski.. Shorty -T
Public_Maverick
Active member
My friend's dad was really drunk so they had to pick him up from a party and when they we're pullin out of the driveway he grabbed that bar in the car and started yeling 'WHY ARE YOU GOING SO FAST?' then when they were's almost home he sundelly grabed the wheel and said 'WAIT! I forgot the duck' and they almost died
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass
list of awful/somewhat funny jokes
Q Why couldn't helen keller drive?
A CAUSE SHE WAS A WOMAN
Q What do you call nuts on a wall?
Wall nuts
What do you call nuts on a chest?
chest nuts
What do you call nuts on a chin?
DICK IN THE MOUTH
Q Whats red and bubbly and taps on your window?
a baby in the microwave
Q whats black and blue and squirms when you touch it?
A baby in a garbage back
Q Whats green and black and smells like shit?
Same baby, two weeks later
Q Why do mexicans make enchiladas?
so their kids will have something to unrap on christmas
Q What do you call a mexican getting into a porsche?
GRAND THEFT AUTO
Q What do micheal jackson and mcdonalds have in common?
they both like to stick their meat in 12 year old buns
Q Why dont i trust woman?
because i dont trust anything that can bleed for 3 days and not die
So this family ate dinner together, 2 daughters, a mom and a dad, they ate a turkey that their dad had shot himself. after dinner the girls come up to their mom at different times and tell her that they pissed out B.B.s, the mom says thats just because their dad shot the turkey with a bb gun. then the son comes up and before he can say anything his mom says 'lemme guess, you pissed out a bb?' to which he replys, 'no mom, i was jacking off on the porch and shot the dog.'
Q What happens when you kick a rednecks cousin in the mouth?
the redneck gets a circumsicion.
if i think up anymore ill post them
______________________________________
'michael moore called...said he is ready to fuck you again' - SUpilot
'Yeah, most pros are strict Mormons. I read an interview with Tanner where he talked about his experience with a caffinated beverage. He said that it screwed up his style because he was poisoning the temple that is his body. Then some of his wives left him.' - Mistaskier
Q Why couldn't helen keller drive?
A CAUSE SHE WAS A WOMAN
Q What do you call nuts on a wall?
Wall nuts
What do you call nuts on a chest?
chest nuts
What do you call nuts on a chin?
DICK IN THE MOUTH
Q Whats red and bubbly and taps on your window?
a baby in the microwave
Q whats black and blue and squirms when you touch it?
A baby in a garbage back
Q Whats green and black and smells like shit?
Same baby, two weeks later
Q Why do mexicans make enchiladas?
so their kids will have something to unrap on christmas
Q What do you call a mexican getting into a porsche?
GRAND THEFT AUTO
Q What do micheal jackson and mcdonalds have in common?
they both like to stick their meat in 12 year old buns
Q Why dont i trust woman?
because i dont trust anything that can bleed for 3 days and not die
So this family ate dinner together, 2 daughters, a mom and a dad, they ate a turkey that their dad had shot himself. after dinner the girls come up to their mom at different times and tell her that they pissed out B.B.s, the mom says thats just because their dad shot the turkey with a bb gun. then the son comes up and before he can say anything his mom says 'lemme guess, you pissed out a bb?' to which he replys, 'no mom, i was jacking off on the porch and shot the dog.'
Q What happens when you kick a rednecks cousin in the mouth?
the redneck gets a circumsicion.
if i think up anymore ill post them
______________________________________
'michael moore called...said he is ready to fuck you again' - SUpilot
'Yeah, most pros are strict Mormons. I read an interview with Tanner where he talked about his experience with a caffinated beverage. He said that it screwed up his style because he was poisoning the temple that is his body. Then some of his wives left him.' - Mistaskier
tahoeskier.
Active member
^ i dont like the baby jokes but the michael jackson one is hilarious
AJ_concepts
Member
what do you call a guy with no limbs thats stuck in a mail box?
BILL
what do you call a guy with no limbs, tahts in a pool?
BOB
*******************************************************
a good friend will always bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting there next to you saying that was fucking awsome
time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas
BILL
what do you call a guy with no limbs, tahts in a pool?
BOB
*******************************************************
a good friend will always bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting there next to you saying that was fucking awsome
time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas
jibberjason
Active member
a totally naked man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist immediatly declares, 'Well, I can clearly see your nuts.'
___________________
'I swear she looked 17!' -My almost 22 year old friend talking about his 14 year old cousin
member# 1981
___________________
'I swear she looked 17!' -My almost 22 year old friend talking about his 14 year old cousin
member# 1981
*i<3snow*
Active member
this joke is so stupid and i got it from this goofy kid at my school.
when the pope was a kid, and he went on his roof, what did he drop on people's heads?
HOLY WATER BALLOONS! *laugh hysterically for 10 minutes, bow and walk off*
~*Michelle
->'the CD goes right here. the speakers... oh well one of 'em's broken, but THIS speaker is good, and these wires, they are really good!'
when the pope was a kid, and he went on his roof, what did he drop on people's heads?
HOLY WATER BALLOONS! *laugh hysterically for 10 minutes, bow and walk off*
~*Michelle
->'the CD goes right here. the speakers... oh well one of 'em's broken, but THIS speaker is good, and these wires, they are really good!'
passion4this
Active member
a guy walked into a bar and said to the bartender 'I bet you a beer that I can bite my eyeball' The bartender looksat theguy and said 'ok, no one can bite their own eyeball' so the guy took out his glass eye, bit it, then stuck it back in. Thebartender, laughing, says 'touche' and gived the guy his beer. After the guy had finished his drink, he says to the bartender, 'I bet you another beer that I can bite my other eyeball.' the bartender replies 'ok noone can have 2 glass eyes.' so the guy pops out his false teeth and bites his eye... he got his 2nd beer....
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
passion4this
Active member
what did the ocean say to the plane as it flew over
nothing, it just waved
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
nothing, it just waved
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
passion4this
Active member
what do you get when you cross a teacher and a crab?
snappy answers
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
snappy answers
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
passion4this
Active member
where do fish keep their money?
in a riverbank
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
in a riverbank
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
passion4this
Active member
2 guys were walking down the street and one turned into a store...
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
hoodratz47
Active member
what do you call a girl with no panties in teh winter time... chapped lips...
whats blue and hangs from a tree.. a monkeys after birth
why did the monky fall out of the tree.. casue it was dead..
why did they baby fall out of teh tree.. it was stapled to teh monkey..
whats red and sits in the corner.. baby playing with razors.
whats green and sits in teh corner.. same baby 3 months later..
there jsut starting
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
just chillax and slide.. Shorty _t
whats blue and hangs from a tree.. a monkeys after birth
why did the monky fall out of the tree.. casue it was dead..
why did they baby fall out of teh tree.. it was stapled to teh monkey..
whats red and sits in the corner.. baby playing with razors.
whats green and sits in teh corner.. same baby 3 months later..
there jsut starting
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
just chillax and slide.. Shorty _t
passion4this
Active member
this is fun but it's also a sign that we have way too much free time when skiing's not around to entertain us.......
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die
Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die