That's Entertainment? (rant)

Quinny

Quinny

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Ah yes, entertainment. It's the cornerstone of any complex civilization. To bad our modern entertainment is at an extremely low point.

Do you know what I mean?

Has anyone noticed how many remakes and sequels there are in Hollywood today? Lets list a few...King Kong, Resident Evil, Oceans 11, Tomb Raider, Assault on Precinct 13, Lady Killers, Fever Pitch, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, House of Wax, The Longest Yard, The Honeymooners, Bewitched, Bad News Bears, Freaky Friday, and The Dukes of Hazzard. There are a million more...but you get my point. How pathetic is this?

Has anyone also noticed how many sequels and prequels there are in Hollywood today? Lets refresh ourselves...Son of the Mask, Shanghai Knights, Little Mermaid 2, XXX: State of the Union, Electra, The Ring Two, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, Guess Who, Beauty Shop, The Amityville Horror, Freddy vs. Jason, Star Wars: Episode III, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist, Batman Begins, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, T3, and Dumb and Dumberer. These have all come within the last 5 or so years. And there are more...we can't forget Resident Evil 2, Spy Kids 3-D, The Lion King 1/2, Ice Age 2, The Mummy Returns, MI:2, The Matrix 2 and 3, Alien vs. Predator, and Lethal Weapon 4. Had enough? How about Rush Hour 2, Die Another Day, or Shreck 2? Okay, I'm done torturing you. Now onto my point...nah, 1 more. Legally Blonde 2!

Creativity is an endangered species in Hollywood. For every good movie 5 shitty ones spring up in the box office trying to emulate it. I'm really fucking sick of it.

The Lord of the Rings craze can be thanked for the "epic" turds like King Arthur, Troy, and Alexander. Thank the X-Men success for garbage like Daredevil, Hulk, and Fantastic 4. Not to mention the trend of war movies. Everything follows a pattern. Oh look! Another bland romantic comedy! The girl is actually a ghost half dead in a coma. How zany! How about that! A movie about twins who switch places. Wacky! You can't write this gold...oh wait...yes you can. THESE MOVIES ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME!!!!! They require little effort to make. Most of the comedies are tied and predictable. Look at Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Did any of the "gags" in that movie actuary catch you by surprise? If they did, I would rank your intelligence among ameba. By just seeing the trailer you could call the entire fucking film. Look at action films. All they do is completely disregard anything close to a coherent storyline and instead inject it with a jillion special effects to the point that they aren't "special" anymore. Is it really worth paying money to be unsurprised and not entertained? HELL NO!

Lets look at another recent trend, movies about rappers. Pop culture has duped many into thinking that famous rappers and hip-hop artists actually live interesting lives. It would come to shock many that they don't. Seriously, I have no idea why people care about 50 Cent, Eminem, and 2 Pac. All of the stories involve them being dirt ass poor, shooting people, trafficking drugs, or being dirt ass poor so they have to shoot people in order to traffic drugs. Great! All of this AND they are trying to make a career out of rapping. Whats even funnier is that the directors dramatize and exaggerate everything because their lives truly were boring. Oh well, we can all eagerly await the white-collar rapper Kanye West to tell us his life story: "My life was so hard before I became big. When I interned at a software company, they put me in a cubicle. Me! In a cubicle! What made it even worse is that they had no doughnuts in the break room! So I leaped from my desk, busted a cap in the ass of every cracker I saw, and then sold some crack to the internal auditor. Then I bust into freestyle. I rap carrier was born! Bitch Niggas! I'm politically charged! I am THE MAN, but I still KEEP IT REAL." I want to castrate that man...moving along.

When movies are busy sucking the proverbial cock, TV is happily blowing it. One example is reality TV. More people vote on American Idol then in the US Presidential election. People are cattle. If the TV says so...then it must be true! American Idol sucks ass. The British guy is the only interesting person. This is because he is a ruthless asshole that loves crushing the hopes and dreams of other human beings. He's also never afraid to tell people that they are untalented. He is the only dose of reality in that entire show. And there is the crapfest that started it all...Survivor. Who doesn't want to watch a bunch of clueless slobs in the middle of the jungle eating squirrels and frog testicles. Whats more laughable is the fact that these people think they are so clever by manipulating other contestants. HA! In the normal world these people couldn't manipulate a fourteen year old. Spare me! I have an idea. How about we do "Survivor: Ghetto." It will take place in an exotic location like East St. Louis. The two tribes will be called the "Bloods" and the "Crips." The first immunity challenge will be called, "We give you the clip...you have to find the gun." Other challenges will include knife fights, street hoops, drive-bys, and crack dealing. Hey maybe you could tie in Vanilla Ice's life story. Before I retire this subject, I should mention poker. Why is this interesting to watch? It's just as boring as chess, but dumbed down significantly.

Scripted shows? That term should be used loosely. We have shit like crime/hospital dramas including NYPD Blue, Bones, CSI, ER, and General Hospital. Who finds these interesting? All you are watching is the same "dramatic" life of a cop/doctor. They seldom even focus on their actual occupations. Instead, they focus in their personal lives. It's literally watching gossip. I'd rather bore my eyes out with a rusty iron poker. Sitcoms aren't safe either. Thank God the almighty Friends is deader than the dodo. That show is the crowing achievement of how stupid an unfunny a popular show can be.

American Dad? Give me a fucking break. It's a cookie cutter clone of Family Guy. The animation style is the same, the characters are the same, and the comedic situations are IDENTICAL. Arguing that Family Guy and American Dad are two completely different shows is like arguing that College and NBA basketball are two completely different sports. I know some of you are thinking, "STFU! Seth MacFarlane is a genius! He makes one of the funniest shows of all time." Do you even realize that he doesn't even dream up half the jokes in his show? The writers do. All MacFarlane does is structure and supervise the show. I will admit that he is funny within his own right. Hell, I love Family Guy. But all of those shit kicking fanboys need to realize that Ol’ Seth is a one trick dog. He is entertaining you and insulting your intelligence at the same time. At least The Simpsons and Futurama have distinct fundamental differences.

How about kid shows? Can somebody please explain to the exec's that child anime sucks balls? All of those shows are the same carbon copy formula milked for 500+ episodes. Did you know that Pokemon now has more half hour episodes than The Simpsons? Do you know why that is? It's because, like every other kids anime, they take absolutely no talent to make. The writing is non-existent and the animation is low quality. I know the Otaku fanboys are all saying, "Wrong, shows from Japan are much better animated than American shows." NEWSFLASH! They are not! They may be better drawn. That's a HUGE difference. "Animation" is derived from the word "animate," which implies movement. The Japanese style is made with very little movement. What they do is just make key drawings and only animate the parts of the body/background that move. Watch it. When there is on-screen dialog, its common to only see their face move. Very little in the way of body language. And the fight scenes? All they do is slide 1 or 2 animation cells over a flashy background. Its laughable that its even nicknamed "anime." To be fair, many shows from America are also Farmer's Choice © Grade Shit. Can somebody please explain to me why Scooby-Doo is so popular? The jokes are only mildly funny. In saying that I'm being as generous as Mother Teresa. These "jokes" become even less humorous when repeated several hundred times. Not to mention that Shaggy is a hippie, and I REALLY fucking hate hippies. I think they should be hunted for sport. If I can shoot a 1500 lb Grizzly bear, I should be able to shoot hippies. Oops, got off subject again. I also hear that Power Rangers is still on TV. This show is of the lowest quality of anything I have/will mention in this thread. It's lower on the food chain then plankton. You wonder why kids are getting dumber? It's because we are feeding them garbage...garbage littered with razors, syringes, and the bloody mangled body parts of the talented entertainment community.

Do you know why there are so few gems in the rough? It's because shitty movies and shows are cheap and easy to make. They don't require skilled writing, skilled developing crews, or a sizeable budget. I least I have the comfort that the shitty shows will die quickly in peoples memories...because they will promptly move on the next shiny new pile of poop. The media is treating people like livestock. The media tells them what to like. You should be telling them what YOU like. Don't watch their crap. Don't pay to see shitty movies. Don't tolerate the mediocre!

FOR THE GOOD OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS BULLSHIT!

I have barley scratched the surface of this issue. I could fill a book. If you want more, reply.

Quinny out.
 
welll then did u really expect something else, the general public is somewhat retarded and does go to see this shit...you just have to do your best to ignore, rise above, and make a point in seeking out the unusual and brilliant.
 
nice, i like it, i like all your points and i dont really feel like arguing any of them riht now. im sure sick of the mediocracy of movies these days. has anyone seen the movie family stone? that was the worst movie i have seen in years.
 
"The media is treating people like livestock. The media tells them what to like. You should be telling them what YOU like. Don't watch their crap. Don't pay to see shitty movies. Don't tolerate the mediocre!"

you sound like a hippy
 
id have to agree with 90%+ of that. i disagree with the scooby doo part though. as you know that show is extremely old and was a completely original idea such as the flinstones and the jetsons. those were the days of developping cartooned entertainment. but today everyone is making reality shows because their simple and for some reason popular...and the biggest reason of all: they make money off it. but then again look at how many movies already have been made. holleywood is running out of ideas and if you think about it...whats left? i enjoyed watchign the recent marvel remakes such as spiderman and xmen because i liked watching the cartoons. marvel was pure classic and i loved those shows as a kid and i still do. i still completely agree with your rant but you gota cut holleywood some slack on the movies...like...all the ideas have been taken. if you can come up with something compeltely original id seriously suggest sending it or something like that
 
almost everything true. star wars have episodes because it's meant to be that way. it's not like bad boys and bad boys 2 or spiderman and spiderman 2. star wars was meant to be like that like lord of the rings, except that new episodes 1, 2 and 3 are bullshit. and some siccoms are really funny. maybe not friends, but some are really good. anyway, this is really good rant.

everyone should read this.
 
I disagree with what you said about Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo is not even 40 years old. The first show aired in 1969. Animation was long out of its infancy by the late 60s. In comparison of quality, in all aspects, it was miles behind Warner Brothers and Disney. However, while the Flintstones and Jetsons were drawn with the same sub-par Hanna Barbara standard, they were actually had much more clever and better-written scripts.

I also very strongly disagree this statement. "look at how many movies already have been made. holleywood is running out of ideas and if you think about it...whats left?" People have used this in the past. In the early 1920s, people thought that there was little future in color movies. People have also said the same thing about music countless times. Innovation happens when people think outside of the norm and create things the can blow away what people thought before. I don't think writers should be paid to regurgitate works that have been make in the past. Saying that "all the ideas have been used" is the lamest excuse anyone could use. It that was the case, we wouldn't even need writers, or anyone creative for that matter. Weak.
 
before complaining about my post refer to Rule number 1

those movies are around because people want to see them. and they should stay around. if your into good movies their are some and their not really hard to find.

people have the right to watch whatever they find entertaining and finding a movie with the same plot and basic story as 10 other movies they saw doesnt make them idiots.

I see XXX:State of the Union and I know its a movie im not going to enjoy because explosions and really cool guys with big guns and alot of attitude is not really my thing (not since T2 anyways) so I dont go and see it. on the other hand I see the trailer for Munich and that looks like a movie I would enjoy. you dont have to go see every movie that is advertised. in fact you dont have to see any movie at all.

Film studios are making a product and no company will make a product that they know will make them lose money.Creativity is very much alive in Hollywood. I know alot of Writers in this toen and they have some pretty amazing scripts but most of them are too complex and new and if the studio funds it their taking a risk.

if the writer is new and has a new idea they dont know how many people want to go see that movie. they cant sit in a room and say well movie X is very similar, and people really liked it so this is a good idea. they have no reference, so they go with their tried and true formula.

think about ski movies to you every ski movie is differnt new tricks new people, bigger stuff, differnt stuff. every movie has its uniqueness. well to a person who doesnt ski its just skiing over and over and over. same with those movies that you call garbage. to you its explosions and bad lines over and over and over. to an action fan their differnt explosions at differnt times surrounded by differnt dialogue.

now to clear a few things up:

-King Kong is indeed a reamke and a damn good one in my opinion.

-Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy was never a movie it was a BBC TV show which was 6-7 hours long counting all episode although the movie doenst come close to the TV show or the book as far as Dry British humour (which made both the book and the TV show great) at least it exposed some people to one of the funniest books around.

-Star Wars Episode III was planned since before the first Star Wars came out its just one big story that couldnt be put in one Movie.
 
I disagree with some of the stuff in there. Such as Scooby Doo, which someone else mentioned. Also, some of the movies you listed off in the beginning aren't sequels that relate to the previous movie only by characters, but are in fact part of a designed set (the matrix, for example, regardless of how bad the last 2 were.)

There is some other stuff I disagree with but don't feel like getting into. Also, hyping up your article with that intro made me expect something a little more intelligently written. There were a lot of stupid errors in your rant.

All in all though, I agree with the main message: I am fucking sick of all of the bullshit movies that are coming out too. But as someone else mentioned, the average american public wants to see those movies. And while those movies make a profit, it is not a huge one. You have to chose to ignore them. I agree with the lack of creativity in media; one theme you did not mention was the book-to-movie transformation that has also grown dramatically...some good, some bad.
 
the only thing is you shouldnt have grouped general hospital in with ER and such. but whatever. read books instead
 
actually the "episodes" came in later and they were cashmagnets like spiderman 2 or badboys 2. the "episodes" weren't meant to be, the empire strikes back and jedi returns were almost meant to be (darth vader surviving gave an oppertunity to continue the star wars).
 
Dually noted. I tend to not watch things that I think are going to be crap. So I have been trying to ignore the drudge. But I'm still not convinced that the industry is pushing itself as much as it could. Corners are frequently cut at all levels, from the studios all the way down to the sound effect man.

As for your clearing things up, also note that Resident Evil and Tomb Raider were not direct movie remakes either. They were based off video games. The movies I didn't mention in any detail may not necessarily be bad movies in any case. My point is that many stories have been recycled. Its not terribly difficult to take old ideas and dress them up. You can make a point otherwise for some trilogies (Star Wars), but it's a stretch for others (StarTreak).
 
Its was hastily written as are all of my rants. I try to avoid errors to the best of my ability. And like I said before, I have only scratched the surface of the subject. I really didn’t go terribly deep into anything, particularly television.

Remember, it does come down to taste for a large part. There isn’t much that really strikes me as a very high quality work. That is my opinion.
 
well Star Wars wasnt base on Star Treck or it was based on another Movie which isnt famous.I forgot the name of it but it had twins ceperated at birth, spaceships, ancient religion, a bad guy dressed all in black. and alot of other similarities.

you have to understand that everything has been done before. this Summer I was writting my scripts (3 of them at teh same time) and I would take breaks and watch movies. and it made me sick to my stomach when an idea I got all hyped up about because I never saw or read it anywhere else was executed in a movie I was watching from 10 years back.
 
Sorry about the low blow.

I was actually referring to the entire franchise that is Scooby-Doo.

And no, Static Shock and League of Action Heros are not on my list of things I would call "quality." Children's shows are not terribly deep if a reasonable adult can't stand to watch it for more than 30 seconds. You really know something is a higher quality of multiple audiences can appreciate it, not just the target age group. Disney animated features are the absolute best example of that. I'd also reference things like Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Winnie the Pooh (yes it is based off of books), and TMNT. There are a handful of others. The original animated shorts from the 30's, 40's, and 50's made by Disney, Warner Brothers, and MGM to a lesser extent, are also very well done.
 
I'm not referring to subject matter. Those HAVE all been done. The key is how to present it. Maybe its just a matter that I find many movies and shows to be predictable.
 
Everyone goes to different genres of movies with different mindsets. How I tend to look at horror movies is this:

The movie has to immerse me. I have to feel like I'm there. That means the plot can't be too cheesy because the suspension of disbelief is just too absurd. If it's simply to unbelievable, the effect is lost on me. The movies also has to make me "jump" more than 3 times.
 
good rant. only thing i don't like is the movie remake statement about them being overplayed and done crapily. not every movie is going to be a great flick, companies make a lot of movies so they have a better chance of getting that so called "gem." i don't really watch new movies in the theaters unless it really catches my attention, otherwise i wait until the movie comes out on dvd. yes the entertainment industry is on the decend right now, and probably won't come back up for quite some time but just give them a chance.
 
Hollywood sucks man. I totally agree with you. If you look into it, I think it comes out that something like 95% of the movies that come out are made and funded by 3 or 4 studios andif you look into deeper, these studios are actually owned and controlled by the same people (there are many crossovers where people are on the boards of 2-3 of the studios at the same time). These firms (studios) also own the theatres that the movies are shown in. In all levels, they pretty much get to feed us whatever the hell they want to feed us. Why go the extra mile to make something that is a really new idea when you can make a simple copy of something else a lot easier and still make tons of money? The system as it is really sucks. Oh, did I mention that the firms who are in control of the movie industry also control the television media too? Hmm...I wonder why Jack Black was on Conan and they were talking about how awesome King Kong was? It is because King Kong was made by NBC Universal. The few firms that control the movies truley control and influence ALL levels of the media, and the weak minded masses are either too dumb or too ignorant to notice or care and then they can be pushed whatever way the media firms want them to go. Is there a coincidence that after watching TV for two hours one might be compelled by "must see King Kong...Must see King Kong" thoughts?

Finally, Hollywood actors with high school as their highest level of education want to tell everyone about "corporate America" being so corrupt blah blah blah...Do they not realize that their industry is probably one of the most corrupt and controlled industries in the world? Ah!!! It pisses me off so bad!
 
i think you are right about reality tv and what-not, but damn dude i dont get why you are so madd at kids tv for being basic and not haveing layers and layers of humor like say a south park, those shows arent supposed to be entertaining to you, i mean obviously kids watch it and like it, because scooby-doo and power rangers have been popular to kids for a long time, there obviously working for the lil kids
 
South Park does not have layers and layers of humor material. They usualy have two: physical and satirical. Not that it's a bad thing. Like Family Guy and The Simpsons, the jokes come at a furiously quick pace, many more noticeable than others. Adult humor in children’s shows have a much more subtle nature, and those jokes frequently are far over the heads of kids. The reason things like The Simpsons and Disney movies are international phenomenons is because the storytelling, humor, creativity, and artistic merit are crafted at uncountable levels. I have not met many (none in fact, including myself) that can spot the every joke in a single movie or episode.
 
Are you saying that Family Guy and the Simpsons style of humor is only active on an obvious and open level? If so I am going to have to strongly disagree with you on that. They go far beyond so many shows that rely on the punchline and laugh track (watch 30 seconds of Everybody Loves Raymond and you will understand what I mean--I think we need an entire thread devoted to the stupidity of this show). To grasp much of the humor within these cartoons one has to have a fairly extensive knowledge of social history (ie. TV, Film, Art, Music,etc...) to understand the comedic value. I am not going to deny the fact that these shows clearly go for obvious/dumb humor, but its just an essential element to success.
 
You misunderstood me. I never said that. I was using the comparison for the frequency of jokes. In fact if you read my post again, I explain that The Simpsons is a VERY deep show.
 
ahhh I gotcha I think I totally blanked out after I saw the first sentence or so and was like jigga what
 
you make alot of good points, and I completely agree with you on the downfall of tv and how much of pure garbage it has become.

The truth is though, that Hollywood is not running out of ideas. There are still thousands of talented writers coming up with new and original material everyday. The problem is, that they are not going to get the financial backing and their ideas will never see the light of day. Hollywood has making a blockbuster hit down to a formula; a science. They know that if they throw in the same bullshit story, sex scenes, special effects, and punchlines that they will get an instant success.

Very few are willing to take the risk of exploring unmarked territory and trying something new, because there is no guaranteed success. So instead, they choose the route of low risk and mediocrity. Money talks. Simple as that.

Music, television, and the box office are all a reflection of our society. Hollywood makes movies that people want to see. Want to get an idea on where our values and morals stand as a nation? Just grab the remote. Shows get cancelled if no one wants to watch it. If shows like survivor, power rangers, the oc, and as the world turns gets played all the time.. what does that tell you?

But I don't believe all is lost. I get the strong notion that as tv progressively slide downward that people will soon wake up to it and wish to return to quality programming. But how far down it will go before that happens? Who knows?
 
Interesting article quin. I agree with it for the most part, though I must say they're are a few diamonds in the rough, atleast in my own eyes. I believe that some sitcoms were very well done such as sienfeld and frasher, would you agree that entertainment has its exceptions of greatness?
 
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