Tell me a joke!

funny.gif
 
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: Why the long face?

The Horse says: My Wife is dying of terminal cancer
 
There's these three guys a spic, a guy and a black guy. They walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, "You wish for anything you want."

So the Genie asks the Mexican what he wants, and he goes, "I want, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the spics are in Mexico.

And then he asks the black guy, "What do you want?" And he goes, "I want all my African brothers in America to be back in Africa and happy and everything." So, genie goes poof! And all the black guys in America are in Africa.

So the genie says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then."
 
two deer walk out of a bar

one turns and says to the other:

"I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there"
 
What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground Beef

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard?

A pillow fight

 
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are out camping. Sherlock wakes up in the middle of the night, wakes up Watson, and says to him:

"When you look up and see the stars right now, what does it mean to you Watson?"

Watson says, "Well it means to me that this world is so vast that we can't possibly understand everything there is out there. What does it mean to you Sherlock?"

Sherlock says, "To me it means that someone has stolen our tent"
 
Skeleteon walks into a bar and says "give me a beer and a mop"

Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve particles that go faster then the speed of light." A neutrino walks into a bar

Two pieces of rope walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve pieces of rope." They start to leave and then one says, "That ain't right." So they sit back down and order two beers. The bartender says, "sorry we don't serve pieces of rope." So they start to leave again until one says, "This still ain't right. We're staying." They order two beers but the bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve pieces of rope." So they get up and leave. Once outside, one of the ropes says, "hold on. I have an idea." So they rip their ends and tie themselves together. They go back in and order two beers. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you guys pieces of rope?" They reply, "Sorry we're afraid not (a frayed knot)."

One more. The timing on this joke works better if you read it fast.

Three native american children are sitting around with their mom when the first one asks, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?" The mom replies, "Because when you were born a leaf landed on your head." Second child asks, "Mom why am I named Snowflake?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a snowflake landed on your head." The third kid says, "hehrehauhehauhrau" and the mom says, "Shut up Brick."
 
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It was dead.

Why did the frog fall out of the tree?

It was stapled to the monkey.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top