South park quotes :)

Ruski

Ruski

Active member
Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.

Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

Chef: Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world?

Stan: Uh, bicycles?

Cartman: Ham?

Kyle: No, not ham, you fat fuck!

Cartman: Screw you! It's ham, isn't it?

Stan: The note (from Wendy) says to meet her at Stark's Pond after school.

Kyle: Whoa, maybe you can kiss her.

Cartman: Or slip a little tongue.

Kenny: [mumbles] Or slide a finger up her pussy.

Kyle: I didn't know she had a cat.

Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?

Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!

Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?

Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!

Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.

Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.

Sportscaster Frank: I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938.

Tweek: But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?

Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except that one time?

Cartman: It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom.

Mr. Garrison: Let's all clear the air. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon.

Chef: Don't do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It's called college.

Mrs. Broflowski: Mr. Garrison, you're a Clan member?

Mr. Garrison: No no, Mr. Hat is.

Mr. Hat: White power! White power!

Mr. Garrison: You are such a racist bastard, Mr. Hat

oh...south park, how i love it so

 
Mr. Garrison: Let's all clear the air. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahha
 
Cop: Did trent boyett do this to you?

Mrs. clarage (only able to comunicate with 1 beep for yes and 2 beeps for no): *Beep* *Beep*

Cop: Yes Yes. Take him away.
 
so you wanted to teach officer barbrady to read... and you did this by fucking a bunch of chickens ?

yes
 
something along the lines of

"we should start a big gay pile and start humping each other so the future people wont have a future so they cant take our jobs"
 
Citter Christmas

Bear: "You wouldn't shoot me would you Santa?"

then santa blows his dome in two as he says "santa"

Squirrel: " What about the C-C-Critter Christmas??"
 
Kyle: We need to go to Canada, as soon as possible.

City Wok Owner: [mock Chinese accent] Ooh, Canada, okay, that's pretty far. Gonna cost you a rot of money. Ret's see... How many people?

Kyle: Four.

City Wok Owner: Four people, Canada, cost a rot of money. Gonna be about 6,500 dorrar.

Kyle: How about 50 dorrar?

City Wok Owner: Fity dorrar? You fly to Canada cost you at-reast 3,000 dorrar.

Kyle: 55 dorra.

City Wok Owner: Hey, stop wasting my time with 55 dorrar. No way I take my plane to Canada for less than a thousand dorrar!

Kyle: Okay... Sixty dorrar.

City Wok Owner: Sixty two dorrar.

Kyle: Okay.

City Wok Owner: Okay, meet me Park County Air field, yellow sesnut, tail number 432-G.

[Hangs up phone]

City Wok Owner: Hee hee. Never try to barter with a Chinese man.

Kyle: Wow, that's a lot of semen Cartman.

Eric Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.

Stan: That's cool.

Eric Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is; the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose.

[kids are learning how to ski]

Ike: Pizza. French fries. Pizza. French fries. French FRIIIEEESSS.

[crashes into a cabin]

Thumper, the Ski Instructor: You french fried when you should have pizza'd. If you french fry when you should pizza, you're gonna have a bad time
 
Garrisons teacher assistant at age one: mommy i think i have a temperature

-OHhh jesus christ! (smiling while mother checks for temperature in butt)

hahahh
 
Kyle- "Cartman stop this now, aren't you worried that your going to go to hell?"

Cartman- "See Kyle, I believe there is a special spot in hell reserved for Jewish people. So really, you should be worrying about going to hell."
 
Mrs. Garrison: Nu- no thanks? Come on, Mr. Slave, I wanna try out my new snootch.

Mr. Slave: I can't believe you just went ahead and had that surgery without even asking me what I thought.

Mrs. Garrison: Well, I ASSUMED you supported me. It's still me; I just have a vagina instead of a penis.

Mr. Slave: But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas!

Mrs. Garrison: Don't you even care that I was suffering? I wasn't happy the way I was!

Mr. Slave: It's great that you feel better, but you never stopped to think about how other people around you would feel!

Mrs. Garrison: Look, we can still be together. All you have to do is stop being gay!

Mr. Slave: How can you say that?! You're gay too!

Mrs. Garrison: I'm not gay! I'm a woman!

Mr. Slave: Oh, Jezuth Christh!

Mrs. Garrison: Oh, so is that it?! You're just gonna walk out?! You men are all alike! Go ahead and find somebody who doesn't have a vagina, you fag!
 
Mr Garrison (now a woman): "Come on folks! Lets get some queers, and trucks and have ourselves a good old-fashioned fag drag"
 
Chef: Can't you see Mr. Garrisson, Mr. Hat is you!!

(wall of prison crashes down, they go outside and Mr. Hat is sitting in the drivers seat of an suv.)
 
funniest one tho

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.

Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.
 
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