Some Things Not to Say During Sex

skiordie

skiordie

Member
- You woke me up for that?

- Try breathing through your nose.

- A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

- But whipped cream makes me break out.

- On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

- So much for mouth-to-mouth.

- Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

- Try not to smear my make-up!

- Got any penicillin?

- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

- I want a baby!

- So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

- Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

- Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

- I think you have it on backwards.

- When is this supposed to feel good?

- Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

- Did I remember to take my pill?

- That leak better be from the waterbed!

- I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

- No, really... I do this part better myself!

- It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

- You're almost as good as my ex!

- You look younger than you feel.

- Perhaps you're just out of practice.

- They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.

- I have a confession...

- Did you come yet, dear?

- When would you like to meet my parents?

- Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.

- Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

- How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?

Fear is the mind killer!
 
-everybody looks funny naked

-did I mention the video camera

-could you pass me the remote control

-do you accept visa?

-I was really trying to pick up your friend

-I hope you look this good sober

-I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs

some of those your probably listed, I didnt really read them all

|D|U|N|C|A|N|

'Jeez, he gets more excited over that than playboy'

-My dad talking to my mom after the new Freeze came

'Now I understand why you like skiing so much'

-My dad talking to me a few days later after 'reading' the new freeskier
 
I have aids

_________________________________________________________

Did you know the pen is stronger than the knife. And did you know that they can kill you once but they cant kill you twice. Did you know destruction of the flesh is not the ending of life, fear not of the anti christ. Did you know that I exist before the earth and did you know that I exist before the earth...Your body is just a vehicle transporting the soul, it whats inside the vehicle is beauty to behold...It was written up in the book of life.
 
my chick was pissed cause i called her jon while we were having sex....

Val d'irene represent!!!!!!!!!!

NS media fo ever!!!!
 
what if you call her Enrique Iglesias on accident, how would you go about covering that up?

''There's no fruit on the tree without the roots.''

 
lol my favorite is 'on second thought lets turn off the lights'

lol

______________

seth

Fairygirl: Why must you be so damn good looking? Why?? lol

nipe: Thats right Diabhal, because we're skiers
 
wait, dont put that there

Jesusjr.com

The day isn't complete without a good texan checkin' session

Wasted State Represent!!

I like my boots like my women, rear entry.
 
i have a penis (applys to girls and transexuals...you know who you are!)

i hate cottage cheese

what's that smell?

i need another beer

yo yo i be representing the motha fuckin' littleton crew

so what the fuck you pussies gonna do?

created free-stylers.com for my town

go view our shit, we're holdin' it down
 
my ex once told me she wanted a baby. any wonder why she's my ex

'Ski to live. Live to keep'em pointed //'

-Dean Cummings
 
you're less frisky than your sister/mother/grandmother.

--------

someone find the messanger, and don't forget to shoot.
 
or 'I've had better'

'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge

 
-don't worry...they said those sores are temporary

luv,

Sonya

________________________________________

just because i don't care, doesn't mean i don't understand!
 
- Wow, your almost as good as your sister

-damn... would u mind passing me my viagra

_____________________

'Don't be a pussy Waldie. It is impossible to get hurt on this jump' my words to Steven Waldie just before he hit the jump and broke his coller bone.
 
your sister could get my fat dick hard. you bitch.

Brody

i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com

any fate questions or orders, let me know.
 
in response to^

shut up and keepgoing bitch, it dont matter, we can't stop now.

Brody

i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com

any fate questions or orders, let me know.
 
Just let me put down my wooden leg.

- - - - -

Vote rebel!

'Can you move your fazooli? I don't have reverse.' - M. Harvey
 
I ran into my ex the other day... the I hit reverse and hit HIM again.

Oakley makes the best eyewear and clothing in the world!

Check out: www.jibculture.com
 
in response ^ i thought its been in for the past 20 minutes...wasnt it?

______________

seth

Fairygirl: Why must you be so damn good looking? Why?? lol

nipe: Thats right Diabhal, because we're skiers
 
-so what was your name again

-you have what

-i gotta tell my gf ill be home late

-dont worry it usually take this long

-ure sure this isnt ur first time?

the turn off the lightsone was great

 
- haha look your boob is bigger than the other

- shit ive never seen such a hairy gine

- female llamas cost between 3,000-10,000 dollars

 
- careful, wrong hole

Made in Tasmania.

Suitable for ages 5+.

Set includes lots of guns and ski equipment.
 
LOOK! An elephant!..oh....sorry, thats just your ass.

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
fuck, i dropped the remote.

--------------------

I am about an 8, i will sit next to a girl that is a 6 and drink till she is a 10 and then bring her home

 
~Shit, James gives better head then you!

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'skogen-chick likes box. Thats hot.'

~Detective

'if you were doing one of them doggystyle and she flexed her butt cheeks, your dick would get ripped off.'

~Alpentalik on the subject of Serena and Venus Williams
 
Ok here is what you have to do for some great sex.

Start off fucking the chick doggy style. Then you lean over her back and grab her tits. Whisper in hher ear, 'Damn, you are the ugliest bitch i ever fucked!' Then you hang on for the ride.

I like to call it rodeo style.

[Penis removed by moderators]

You think are hot shit but really you are just cold diarrhea.
 
a variation of someone else's 'rodeo style' this one is called the bucking bronco.

you are having sex with a girl, like dogs do, of course, you lean over and whisper in her ear, 'i have AIDS...' and then, she starts bucking around like crazy, haven't had the opportunity to try it, but it sure sounds like fun... if you're the kind of person who likes that sort of thing, which i don't... really, i don't...

What has a whale done for you lately?
 
haha! cottage cheese ass!

'could you lift up your gunt so I can find your punn?'

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
-Man it smells worse than my gym sock

-Your daughter gives head a lot better

-Holy cow my truck could fit in here!

-Don't worry I don't have to get up early, I dont work

-My captain still wears his hat

-My cousin is open for a three-some

-The monkey at the pet store works a lot harder than you

-Wow! You and your sister both scream the same

++++++++++++++++++++

Keep it live 24/7 365

*Proud Member Of The Hobum Posse

 
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