So she's catholic...

omIV

omIV

Active member
...and I'm...not catholic.

Basically, I've been seeing a girl at my college. She's a conservative catholic school girl (not the slutty kind), and I relate to her at a personal and intellectual level (unleash the flaming). I don't mind taking it slow, she's really fun, its worth it.

But I'm Jewish.

This girl used to work at a convent for silent nuns. Goes to church every Sunday morning. She once stood me up for lunch because a meeting with a faith group went long.

I know she's into me, she's always eager to see me...I just don't know how to delicately inform her that I don't accept Jesus as my lord and savior.

I haven't been seeing her long enough that I've had to lie about anything. There was a point in the conversation last time I saw her that I had to side-step a little bit, and it made me feel cheap. So I definitely want to get this over with before I get more involved with her.

Any help/suggestions? Serious thoughts are really appreciated. If you call me a fag for actually liking an individual, well, I really don't need to address why I'll be ignoring you. Thanks
 
wont work dude. i have a large catholic family (i turned atheist) but they are fucking harcore when it comes to religion
 
"I just don't know how to delicately inform her that I don't accept Jesus as my lord and savior." just say it its not that hard... if she takes offense in you saying that, she's not for you.
 
you know, you don't have to ascribe to her religion. If you like her, be open about it. If she is worth her salt, she won't care that you are jewish either. mutual tolerance is good.
 
lol @ you willingly dating anyone who is that retarded.

also, she shouldnt give a shit if she isnt an ignorant cunt, seeing as you all worship the same god, and christianity is just an offset of judaism.
 
Don't lie about it about what you believe. It's a legit issue, so bring it up and talk about it. Don't go ahead and make assumptions about what will or will not happen. Who knows. Good luck to you man.
 
Same situation I had...but she got all butt hurt because I didn't really care about religion and what not. Than her ex came to visit and shit went downhill from there. Needless to say I dropped it like it was hot because she was really Catholic in a weird way and it seemed like she tried to shove her views down my throat and I wasn't cool with that.

My advice...if she starts trying to shove her religion down your throat and you don't like it than drop it because it gets really annoying really damn quick.

 
If she can't accept that there are other religions then she obviously isn't on the same intellectual level as you and stay away from that poor, brainwashed girl.
 
Well she doesn't mention anything relating to her religion that often when we're talking. I don't think that that she'd try to convert me. I'm more worried that she wouldn't see a future in me because of it and then break it off. So I want to get over this hurdle early, when I don't have as much to lose and so I don't get caught in deceiving her.
 
honestly, if shes worth it she will accept you religion.

my mom would be pissed if i dated a catholic chick, she only wants me to date jewish girls, but fuck jewish girls, jewish girls are never hott and are always stupid fucking hipster bitches.
 
so it was the religion she was shoving down your throat that bothered you? not the..

 
no, this has nothing to do with intellectualism. You can be intellectual and not agree with other religions. It may mean she is intolerant, but she can still be an intellectual. I'm sure plenty of complete geniuses out there don't agree with other people's shit-doesn't make them any less smart. Just means they don't agree with what you may agree with. It's not a crime, it's perfectly human.
 
If she won't start a relationship with you because you don't believe in the exact some morals as her than that is just stupid and not a girl you want to date.

And to Jon...Fuck you.
 
I'm Catholic and you should stay away from her because other Catholics are all we really have
 
I'm going to go ahead and say that it's something that should be set in stone, but does it not make sense to date someone who is on the same moral playground as you? If I'm the kind of guy who wants to wait until I get married to get it on, I'm not going to date some chick who wants to hook up on our second date. Life is complicated enough without adding unnecessary complications.
 
just tell her whats up man, dont let it wait just go for it and if she doesnt like it than chase some other girl dont keep chasing her if she not going to ya know so just tell her.
 
That's a fair point. But I really don't mind holding off on the physical side...I've had dinner with her three time and I've barely touched her. I honestly have no idea where a relationship with her would go, I just like her that's all. So yes, ideally I would love to be able to say "I will only date jews," but that only holds up until you meet a catholic girl who you're into.
 
For sure. Just talk it over. It's going to become an issue at one point or another, so I'd get it over with before it becomes the elephant in the room. Tough situation man.
 
I think it has to do with intellectualism. By now, if you are religiously intolerant I think you're a moron. If she likes him but then finds out he's a jew and cuts contact, she's an idiot.
 
is she though? (an idiot)

i would never end a non serious relationship over religion. but ill tell you right now im not going to marry someone with differing vastly religious ideologies. (to a certain extent, im not going to split hairs like Lutheran, Baptist, etc)
 
I mean, I never understood why this is such a big deal. Especially when Catholicism (well Christianity more likely) is just an add-on to Judaism. You chop parts of babies weiners off and her savior is a carpenter.

Are they really that different where you can't just not talk about religion. It's the same basic belief structure of love thy neighbor, do unto others, yada yada. Why can't that be enough?
 
what do you mean "by now?" People have been intolerant since the beginning of mankind. It's never going to change. Are you saying that jews who only marry other jews are idiots? How about people who only marry within their own race? Every religion has it's hang-ups and beliefs. Are muslims who hate christians because they worship jesus instead of mohammed idiots, or are they just living according to their own belief system? Being intolerant doesn't make you a moron, it just makes you an intolerant person, which by some measures is worse than being a moron. But intolerance doesn't always reflect intelligence...it reflects your own opinions.
 
YES! a fellow jew!. Anyways, you don't need to tell her that you don't accept Jesus as your personal savior, but if she does inquire, just tell that you believe he is a great man and a prophet, because that is what is believed in jewish faith.
 
You can be the most intellectual person in the world and still be intolerant.

If a person is truly serious about their religion and/or what they believe, chances are they aren't going to start making exceptions for someone they are into. Depending on what you believe in, this is a stupid idea or it is admirable.
 
I have no idea how long-term this relationship would be. Its freshman year at college, so I mean the average span can't be that long, but all I really care about with her is spending time with her. So I'm definitely in it for the right reasons...which is why I feel that I have to be upfront with her.

I understand what you're saying re:marrying&religion, but I mean I'm not looking any further ahead than freshman formal in a few weeks. Theoretically I guess I could be with her for a while, but we sort of just hit it off really quick and I haven't done any planning/long-term thinking.
 
I'm not a very involved jew, but I know that's wrong. There are 55 canonized Jewish prophets, and the last one was Malachi, and he lived like 400 years before Jesus.
 
you should be able to get past the whole religion thing if you want to make it work. it shouldn't really be that big of an obsticle unless she's a cult style fanatic
 
I'm ashamed to say it, but I agree with OhMyBosh on this one.

Ultra conservatives are the cause of many problems... That isn't to say that liberals are perfect, but at least most of them are intelligent. I mean come on, just look at who supports Sarah Palin as a viable human being... The very same people who are legitimately concerned that Obama is bringing communism to the states, the same people who will vote for palin in the 2012 election, if there is still an election because Obama fails his bid for despotism.

Now I'm not saying all catholics are extreme republican conservatives, but there is something about religion in general that has made me turn away from it all. Though I was forced to attend chirch for most of my life so far, I never really believed any of it- because I really don't care to know. I can see, hear, and feel the world around me, and that is enough for me. I don't consider myself an atheist, I consider myself a sort of existentialist. But one could call me an apathist as well- I just don't care. I believe that when you die, you die, and nothing is left but a rotting corpse. First there was nothing, then I was born, then there will be nothing again. Instead of worrying about the future, you should worry about today. And don't worry- just live life, love life, and have fun with it, as cliche as that sounds.

As for the OP's dilema- do whatever you think is right. Tell her and stay with her, tell her and find someone else, or tell her and pee in her butt. Just don't keep lying.
 
Why does everyone think that just because they take their particular religion seriously, they are a "cult style fanatic." That's just ignorant. For many (myself included) what they believe isn't just a hobby or something to pass the time, but is something that is part of everyday life. That doesn't mean they are weird or obtuse about it (although many are), it just means it's something that is important. It can become "that big of an obstacle."
 
I FUCKING LOVE THIS THREAD

im jewish (although i dont personally believe in good). My parents only want me and my brothers to marry jewish girls, or girls who will convert. Out of love and respect for my parents, i agree to do this

this is my view. date the chick. test the waters. you arent getting married or anything yet.

if you make it to the next stage, and you guys love each other, then you will both make the sacrifices you need to to make it work. whether she converts or at least agrees to raise your kids jewish (since that is what it is really all about), or she doesnt and you guys break up on good terms, well then atleast you dont lose anything...
 
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