SKIING LIMERICKS

powabunga

powabunga

Member
CHALLENGE: Write your own skiing limerick, +K for all attempts, though must follow the proper rhyming pattern and start with 'There once..' (dont fuck this up Brett_Fischer)

Ill start-

There once was a dude named THalls

Who had the most gnarliest of falls

His ankles went snap,

When he fucked up chads gap,

Now he dont ski much park at all.

There once was a crew from the Hood,

All summer they'd camp in the woods,

They'd drop loads of cliffs

And smoke all the spliffs,

And party with girls in the nude.
 
There once was girl named Sammi

She fell really hard and went whammy

She hit her head

then promptly said

Screw this I'm moving to Maui

I don't know what a limerick is
 
there once was a pro named Steve

or so he had us believe

really he was no pro at all

and all he did was fall
 
There once was a kid who bought skis

He thought he had so much steeze,

But had had none at all

And often took a fall,

Making him blow out his knees.
 
there once was a man named Lesh

who thought he was pretty fresh

he poured milk on titties

and hung with biddies

now he's moving to Bangladesh

idk what else rhymes with Lesh
 
There once was a wizard named Andy,

Who lived a life quite dandy,

In a van he did sleep

Some may call him a creep

But his tricks are really quite grand-y
 
There once was a kid called tom

Who's dub corks 10 were the bomb

But one summer day

This trick went astray

And his right acl, it was gone
 
Once there was a dude named nacho

He was totally freakin macho

He bangs lots of chicks

And they always suck his dick

Then he goes and eats gazpacho
 
there once was a swede named e-dollo

reppin' wu-tang and pants that were so low

that the undies are sponsored

for this nosebud-trip monster

but i've heard that hood crew fucked his bitch, tho
 
There once was a dude named Nick,

Who once hucked a 50 foot cliff.

The landing was slick,

And he cut off his dick,

And now he can't land any tricks.
 
There once was a site called Newschoolers

It was filled with posts from losers

One day B_Fish joined

Everyone got annoyed

Now you find him alone on the groomers
 
There once was man, skiierman

He said so much shit, he's banned

Now he sits alone

NSG is thrown

and it probably won't come back again
 
13248554:DubDiaz said:
there once was a swede named e-dollo

reppin' wu-tang and pants that were so low

that the undies are sponsored

for this nosebud-trip monster

but i've heard that hood crew fucked his bitch, tho
Click to expand...

there once was a member named DubDiaz

his limerick read like verbal jazz

is he slow in the head

or close to dead

cause his writing lacks for pizazz
 
There once was a boy named Brett

Who's spelling made our minds fret

His name became saga_kity

And we thought that was shitty

He is the worst speller we've ever met
 
13248619:Moon_Shoes said:
There once was a boy named Brett

Who's spelling made our minds fret

His name became saga_kity

And we thought that was shitty

He is the worst speller we've ever met
Click to expand...

winner-winner-chicken-dinner_design.png
 
There once was a man named nick

He had a long dick

His last name is gaper

He now makes a lot of paper

He once skied at perfect north

But then he knew that was to short

Now he fucks bitches
 
Holy fuck, this thread delivers

Gave me some funny shivers

Be it from far

I got hit by a bar

And now my body's in slivers
 
there was once a man called Andy Perry,

a wizerd who was mighty and scary,

with his friend Will,

some hippies they did kill,

and after, their kind were quite wary.
 
There once was a man from Park City

His hairline was rather shitty

He now skis for line

Cos his tricks are fine

And is now in the van committee
 
There once was a man named Shae Flynn

You saw nothing on his head but skin

He took many bad falls

Screwed his shoulders i recall

and now nobody sponsors him
 
There once was a lad called Powstagram,

One day he took a very bad slam,

A fair maiden saw this huge wham,

And even though she weighed 110 kilograms,

Powstagram peed in her butt
 
There once was a dude called JP

All over the mountain he'd ski

He'd ski gnarly chutes,

And throw backy-mutes,

Take too soon S-I-P.

:'(
 
13248895:powabunga said:
There once was a dude called JP

All over the mountain he'd ski

He'd ski gnarly chutes,

And throw backy-mutes,

Take too soon S-I-P.

:'(
Click to expand...

Mega props for that one man. He was an absolute legend, S.I.P. +k for you sir
 
13248496:Julius_Steezer said:
There once was a kid called tom

Who's dub corks 10 were the bomb

But one summer day

This trick went astray

And his right acl, it was gone
Click to expand...

13248619:Moon_Shoes said:
There once was a boy named Brett

Who's spelling made our minds fret

His name became saga_kity

And we thought that was shitty

He is the worst speller we've ever met
Click to expand...

These^
 
There once was a man named T-hall

The words he typed in caps WERE THEM ALL!!!

Some think he's a dick

Others think he's quite sick

And now his tricks are quite small
 
I once tried a genie off a jump quite teeny

but I landed on my ten foot weenie

It flopped like a snake

so i chopped it with a rake

now its only 6 foot 4
 
There once was a girl in a dress

Who had a voluptuous chest

So Solid 7 she was

She caused quite a buzz

Now she's famous on the internet
 
There once was a swede named Edollo

he had swag and could lean like a cholo

His dreads grew long

As he ripped the bong

Wu tang is for the children, yolo

haha I had to try
 
there once was a king of afterbang

but unfortunately his knee went bang

then he joined a new gang

then sucked on my wang??

im not good with these things
 
There once was a kid who slayed

In the park he always stayed

He was scared of the upper mountain for he knew he was fucked

That's when he realized he kind've sucked

Now he's a wigger whose fresh outta luck

idfk
 
There once was a goon

who only went to the hill in search of poon

He saw a snow bunny at whistler

and was pissed he never kissed her

but he was out of luck anyways for he was just a gaper
 
Throwin spins,

On these seasons twins,

Dropping cliffs,

Smokin spliffs,

I'm shreddin pow,

You know how,

J.P's mute,

I'll give it a salute,

The park's shut?

Guess I'll pee in her butt,

Skiierman?

Not a fan.

NOW SHOW ME THE WAY TO CHAD'S

we like baggy clothes,

and we like banging hoes,

where is my pass,

i guess ill just check my ass,

i did a future spin,

/claim just fuckin spin to win.

not limericks i don't think but whatever
 
there once was a skier named Wesson

he could out do any skier in session

not so much on jumps

for the east coast just has bumps

just to see him jib is a blessing
 
There once was a skier named T-Wall

Who wore all his outerwear tall

He skied day and night

Afterbanged with delight

And not one person has seen him fall
 
There once was a crew called CPS

they were the fucking best

No coverage they did receive

For in truth, they were quite shitty

Now they rep Seattle City

does that work, fuck it, it was worth a shot.
 
There once was a man named clayton

some say he signed with satan

from his 450s off

and sliding on rocks

his vids have us all masterbatin
 
there once was a man named bart

he lived in wal-mart

he could out ski macrae

and blew the girls away

he listened to green bay

bart really had a small heart
 
There once was a skier named Compton

Sadly, he was bullied-called chompton

His tricks are on fleek

He really can't spell week

His TC days will never be forgotten
 
There was once a squad called hoodcrew

They must be on that homebrew

Fuck with them and they’ll fuck yo bitch too

But for real, where can I get one of those boob tattoos?
 
the hoodcrew that is on ns

made your bitch undress

they problly drank alll your alchohol

these guys can out party all y'all

upvote this poem with finesse
 
There once was a parkie named Tanning,

He believed in himself but kept falling,

So he picked up his balls and just hucked it,

Which resulted in him saying "f*** it!"

He now skis pow in Jasper every morning!
 
There once was a skier named Wallisch

Whose tricks were really polished

A right dub he fell

Joined line NS could tell

Now we love the nostalgia
 
I'm in college and am like a lamb.

My grades are slipping like they're on pam.

I ski during the week,

I play hide and go seek,

This limerick sucks cuz I'm going crazy from studying for my final exams.
 
There once was a man named Dave

Big air is what he did crave

He took off the jumps

And aired off the bumps

He made the gucci plateau his slave.
 
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