Sick excuses for work

[landonn]

I missed work this morning cause there was a sick party and i didnt want to miss it. right now my excuse is my aunt was in town and made one of her famous dishes and something in it made me sick. does anybody have any other legit excuses.

 

[grown-ninja]

just tell him jesus told me i couldnt go to work today...no one wants to be on jesus bad side

 

[thecounty]

tell them you had explosive diarrhea. no body wants to hear about the mud butt. you will be in the clear. trust me.

 

[japanada]

exactly, its called IBS, irritable bowl syndrome.

 

[dguay13]

just say food poisoning, people dont ask questions haha

flu

migraine

back spasms

these have all worked for me

 

[jimmer]

tell him that your aunt came to visit from guatemala and the food she brought had parasites in it and that you had small worms coming out of your penis hole all day long and that it was excruciating and you would never wish that pain upon anybody

 

[Squishmitten]

HA literally the exact thing i was gonna say when i saw the topic... trust me it works flawlessly... that was my number one excuse in highschool.. and now i use it for work all the time... some times even class in college now if its one of my smaller classes (the teacher never seems to look at you the same tho)

 

[neutralzombie]

haha once, i had to go into work one day, while i was still in school, problem is i still went out drinking the night before and prolly got home some ridiculous A.M. hour and had to get up at 6 to go write an exam. so i got up and lately when i drink too much and don't sleep and eat it off i get mad vertigo, i sweat, it's disgusting and i feel like i'm dying, worst hangovers ever, so i had to call my boss and say that i just got the flu and i couldn't stop throwing up at school. which i hadn't thrown up, but yeah, pretty fucked.

hasn't happened recently but i don't take rest for granted anymore...

 

[Kmania]

I wanted to cut out of work half day, so I said I ate taco-bell and started puking. I got a big speech about how there's cockroaches and junk in the food, and how was I so dumb. haha but I got out half day. My boss is a dumbass

 

[InkShrink]

Yeah, I've used the explosive diarrhea before. Works wonders.

I've used the excuse that my grandma's died at least 4 times now and they still haven't caught on.

Recently, I've been enjoying the excuse of urinary tract infections, UTI.

 

[erichkuss]

Say you have osgood shaltters.

 

[montageskier]

Your grandma was boiling water, and the cat jumped on the stove.The cat caught on fair, and you need to bring it to the animal hospital.

 

[snwbrdmilf]

Diarrhea, works every time cause they don't even want to talk about it. Or think about it.

 

[snwbrdmilf]

Aww, I should have read first before thinking I had the great idea. Dammit!

 

[the_moderaper]

food poisoning is the best excuse possible. you cant prove you dont have it, it cant be treated and needs to work its course, and you never know how or when ur gona get it

 

[Valind]

tell them you are mormon

 

[BC.]

pretty sure legally they arent allowed to make you come in if you say your sick so....hey im sick dont know whats wrong. k bye.

 

[sarahskis]

"when i stand, poop falls out my butt"

explicit enough to send you home forever.

Allergic reaction works pretty well too. Picture coming to work in boils and puffy eyes

 

[45.]

yes, tell them you have osgood schlatters disease and its so bad you cannot walk. they cant doubt you and they cant prove you dont have it either

 

[Bassage.]

yes, poop falls out my butt when i stand, nice!

 

[caucasian_chad]

Powder day:

I can't come in to work today, it's really coming down out there, I mean I think I'm coming down with something *coughcough*

 

[charmander]

"I just found out I have AIDS"

 

[B_Sellegren]

or LBS, loosy bowel syndrome.

 

[Franny]

Say your have H1N1 virus.

 

[ski@jaypeak2]

Terrible idea. If you are old ebough to have a job it is your responsiblity not your parents. I manage many high schoolers and I fucking hate it when a parent goes to bat for the kids. On a lighter note everyone else is correct in the runs. But start to go into detail about the color and your butt stinging, they will probably hang up on you instead of arguing.

 

[fourhundred]

I'm assuming you meant to say "fire" not fair. How do you mix that up?

 

[Moostafa]

i was totally banking on some kid from my school getting that this year so we could be out for 2 weeks, but serioulsy go with the food poisioning. works like a charm haha

 

[NilsJ]

say you didn't feel like coming in and you dont really give a fuck about your job, so you just blew it off.

 

[C-Burg]

just claim a mental breakdown and you are now on medication so you are all better now

 

[a_pla5tic_bag]

Tell them you have H5N1, that won't go well.

 

[MACAQUE]

You took too much viagra and didn't want to show up to work with a boner.

 

[yeyeesteeze121]

this thread is hilarious.

 

[SteezyOhio]

tell them you were getting an abortion

or tell them you lost your ipod nano, but upon further examination, your ear buds were hanging out of your butt hole

tell them jesus said you couldnt, nobody argues with jesus

tell them you were too high to come in.............

 

[thelizards]

diarrhea is the answer to any excuse.

why weren't you here during geometry? DIARRHEA, BIOTCH.

 

[landonn]

he bought my excuse but he is still writing me up. WTF!!

 

[Z_rob]

tell them that your buddies put mass amounts of laxadives in your water at dinner last night.
they wont ask any questions or details on that

 

[PAINE_IN_MAINE]

call in and say " I there is something wrong with my eyes, I just cant see myself coming in today"

this one is more of a joke, tell me if you use it

 

[ski@jaypeak2]

yes i did. You said have your parents call you in. I think thats lame.