Should the guy really always text first?

C

c-wayne

Member
ive been doin real good this summer ladiewise /endclaim but honestly always feel like i dont know what to do with this situation. im 19 btw

im a lifeguard at a huge waterpark so everyday i get a chance to meet new girls who work there (which is basicly the reason why i do so well im actually kinda a timid quiet guy) and with 2 or 3 we really hit it off. like our personalites kinda mix well and we have a fun time working together and would deff have a good time out of work too. I went on a date with one of them and with the others just got there numbers recently.

So basicly everytime i text them they reply fast with smiley faces and shit and we have good fun convos even though i hate texting and rarely text unless its quick planmaking or something, but i feel like i always have to text first. And no im not one of those people who text nonstop or am clingy through text i talk to them like twice a week at night at the most but still i wish theyd text me first. Im a good lookin guy and am very confident with them most likely being interested in me just i hate texting first as most people do.

so the question is... do most girls expect the guy to text first or will they text first? i know not all people are the same but usually the chickas text me first and this issues been bothering me
 
yes. because most girls, at your youngish age i'm assuming, are insecure and unwilling to put themselves in a position where they put themselves out there and possibly look stupid because the guy isn't interested. even though that doesn't make you look stupid, that's how people take it.

so generally, yes. if you want somebody, gotta make it happen yourself. waiting sucks anyway, go for it.
 
Same deal here. Honestly I just think they are too preoccupied with other things. It would be nice the receiving a few texts first every once in awhile.
 
Like the guy above said, should it be this way every single time? I feel like they're not really thinking about you if you always have to text first, there should be some give back.
 
Me and a girl I was into a while ago texted like everyday but we would switch off who texted first everyday. we didn't do this on purpose but thats just the way it happened. idk maybe I just got lucky
 
i find that if you just met her and are in the 'getting-to-know-eachother' phase, then yes you should probably be the one to text first. its nice waking up to a text or knowing that he is thinking about you everyday. its not necessary once you get past that stage. just dont do the 'hey, whats up' line every friggen day.
 
This, whenever I always have to text first it just gives me the feeling that she's not interested so I start thinking is it worth it and stuff. But if that's is generally what all ladies do then I guess I gotta keep it up.
 
This, whenever I always have to text first it just gives me the feeling that she's not interested so I start thinking is it worth it and stuff. But if that's is generally what all ladies do then I guess I gotta keep it up.
 
This, whenever I always have to text first it just gives me the feeling that she's not interested so I start thinking is it worth it and stuff. But if that's is generally what all ladies do then I guess I gotta keep it up.
 
To revive this thread. What about when you and a lady kick it off at a party. She spends the night but you're both too blacked out to hook up. Her and her friends chill for a good 4 hours at my house, where we all crashed, the next morning having as good of a time as you can with girls being sober, yet I forgot to get the digits. Lots of flirting and weird dry humping cuddling going on. So options here 1.) wait to randomly run into her at another party through our mutual friends? or 2.) just get her number from my guy friend whose girl friend is her friend (stick with me here) or 3.) Facebook stalk her and find her that way. Alright sorry about that but let's see if NS has some good input.
 
normally they don't text you first until your dating for reals

basically girls just want to know you like them so they do a bunch of pointless shit until you actually prove it somehow
 
god damn do i hat how texting has become part of the dating process. sure its easy but so damned obnoxious and causes so much stress. Like for example you leave your phone in the car and wheh you get back an hour and a hlaf later there are 20 texts from your girls saying "why are you mad at me?" fuck shit ass. /rant
 
Nah man fuck 'em. If they wanna talk to you, they'll do it at work or text you themselves. The couple girls I talk to via txt usually text me first, otherwise we just don't talk!
 
Option 1) could work but there's equal chance that they either forget about you or lose interest simply because you already dicked it by forgetting to get their numbers. Waiting to run into them again could show a lack of effort plus you might not for a while. Option 3) is just right out. It may work if you just don't give a f but it lacks class and could be mistaken as creepy. I would slide right in there with option number 2). It shows them that you remember them, you acknowledge that you messed up by forgetting their numbers and that you're working to correct that. It gives you direct line to the text flirt just don't go crazy about it. Introduce yourself through text with a funny anecdote about the night so they'll remember who you are and then make plans/ take it from there.
 
Facebook stalk it.

I rarely text, and I pretty much never text first. I don't text unless there is a reason to text or I'm extremely bored.

Also OP you might want to learn some grammar skills before you start texting.
 
I always have had to text my girlfriend first for the past while, I don't mind it, I think she likes the attention. She only really texted me first for before were dating/first few months or if we haven't talked in a few days because of vacation or whatever.
 
personally im half and half but im a little younger than you are. im not a huge fan of texting so if im really bored ill text first but if im not bored to death ill wait for a text
 
Great question. I'm 15 so I text first all the time. I'm relatively good with girls for a 15 year old (Probably not) and I still dont get many texts from girls, although I have started to have more girls textme first.
 
I'm kind of a sarcastic person which translates terribly over text. I always end up making them mad for something I don't mean when in person it's usually fine or they're laughing. Never mind if you leave your phone at home for a day.. Fuck texting. Shits the worst thing to happen to dating since sliced bread. Facebook on the other hand.. Not bad.
 
I've found that girls text me first more often than I do first if they're just trying to start a conversation, but after their first "hey:))))))))" or whatever, I usually lead the conversation for the most part. Its nice when you can both get a good, comfortable balance.
 
Yeah but I'd she doesn't initiate it seem like she's not interested. Then continuously starting the convo feels like you're pushing too hard
 
always? not necessarily. almost always? probably. young girls are so god damn insecure it's ridiculous. if i would have known at your age what I know now, i would have violated even more sloots that i did.
 
But you could also get a girl who is super clingy. If i go skating for the day and can't text my gf back, she texts me like every 30-45 minutes... its so annoying when I get back.
 
dude i was a lifegaurd at a water park for years and i used to fucking hate getting hit on by girls. i used to always get yelled at by my boss for talking customers, and the girls that always would come up and like "hi youre really cute!" were always 15 years old or toothless and disgusting or both.

fuck.
 
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It is always nice to get a text first from a girl. But when a girl texts me 10 times in a row without me responding and says "I want to be your girl" and that "you're hot". Then we have a problem.
 
Facebook stalk her...get the number...and then when she asks how you got it say you got it at night when you guys were drunk and that's why she doesn't remember. Simple
 
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