shittiest fortune cookie ever

PurpleSkier

PurpleSkier

Active member
alright, im sitting at my computer, cruising Ns, and i see a fortune cookie, im like yea, sweet, so im like i wonder what my fortune will be, so i open it up, and heres what i got 'There's a Fortune in your Future. Let First Citizens Bank show you how!'

are they going to give me a good fortune cookie or what?

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The Official-royal nose-picking, wannabea highschool dropout, Gary Coleman-loving, Arnold-hating, college chick-dating, Montana boonies guy

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Only Westcoaster in the Eastcoast Cult

 
hahaha, ohh wow, what a great idea, marketing through fortune cookies

'I was in Italy, and I thought I was buying a fancy condom, and when I hit the button on the machine, it sprayed calogne in my eyes' Russell

 
I got a sweet fortune the other day. 'You will have gold peices by the bushel.' First non-phylosophical fortune I've ever got. I lamenated it and put it in my wallet.

- - - - -

'The art of propaganda lies in understanding the emotional ideas of the great masses and finding, through a psychologically correct form, the way to the attention and thence to the heart of the broad masses.' - A. Hiedler
 
I once got a fortune that said something about how I was the best person in the world, so I saved it, I save all my good fortunes. And I taped it to my wall. Like a year later I was in Manhattan staying with a friend, and what fortune does he have taped to his door? The same one.

-Lauren

I'm not much of a man by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual Transylvania...

 
lauren! ahahhahaha

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yeah this one time, I got really wasted, and took the most violent shit ever. serious. my ass and I fought for most of the night, but in the end I was vitorious, until that back stabber attacked after our treaty, and i had to get new boxers - lineskier03

just stand closer to the explosion. it will make it seem biggger.-aoe

 
that's funny.

fortune_cookie.jpg'


Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Ski.

 
Ahhahaha,that's great,ghostdragon.

******************

Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
 
haha, yeah Ive gotten 'You love chinese food' And 'You will get new clothes'

-Michael Lifshitz-
 
Saturday night I got one that said 'Kiss the person next to you'

There were only guys in the room so I decided to tear it up and not show anyone

Just Like The Cool Kids....

I Get Head

'I Love You Spit Bucket' -My Drunk Roommate
 
i once got one that said 'Good fortune will come with more chinese food' or something to that affect.

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The only way to prevent rape is to say yes.

'. . . thou shalt eat the herb of the field ' (Genesis 3:18)

'. . . eat every herb of the land ' (Exodus 10:12)

'Better is a dinner of herb where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith' (Proverbs 15:17)

“He Causeth the Grass to Grow for the Cattle, and Herb for the Service of Man” (Psalm 104:14)

 
i like how 50% of them have two fortunesin them. Sometimes they contradict ea ch other.

________

I always thought Bush steeze was when you go huge, then drop bombs on everyone watching you.

--west
 
'Help, Im trapped in a fortune cookie factory!'

What category do I fall under? I've never fallen under a category. I fell underneath a car once, and I haven't been the same since.

--tom waits

 
'a smart loving and beatiful person will come into your life in a special way'

___________________

my words of wisdom
 
'The night life is for you'

I kept that one

__________

-> Colleen

PROUD LEN FAN

'well, does he like butter tarts?'
 
'you like chenese food.

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My dad 'You can ski on grass, i've seen your friends do it'

Me 'What? no way'

Dad 'yeah way, they just toke it up, and go skiing.'

Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D

If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.

221 'i like to rub diluted sulfuric acid on my inner thigh'

Darren Butler 'God made dirt, so dirt dont hurt... its the rocks that get ya.'
 
yeah i got one last year that say you love chinese food. IW a slike that doesnt tell me much but i saved it anyways.

(trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)

 
worst one i've gotten: 'You will visit the Great Pyramids of Egypt.'

alright

1. already did

2. this is something you have complete control over...you decide whether you go there or not, its not like some aladdin dude is gonna come down and pick you up and wisk you off to egypt.

 
'You will find true love on Flag Day.'

-Dan

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Two for one, five for four, half ounces, quater pounds, lb's and kilos. What are we looking for sin semilla.

We didn't just build a car. We started a religion.
 
'you are severely obeise.' it's way not true considering i'm fucking scrawny (but i'll fight to the death) but anyways i just thought it was funny so i gave it to my fat friend and he was pissed off

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'We sold some mushroom tea, we sold some ecstacy, we sold nitrous, opium, acid, herion and pcp, now i hear the police comin after me...' -Sublime
 
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