seinfeld quotes

canonrider

canonrider

Active member
good show, good quotes!

Kramer screaming from the rooftops. 'Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad chicken!! mess you up!'

Kenny rogers manager dude 'thats not gonna be good for buisness'

Jerry 'thats not gonna be good for anybody'

.............................................

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
Kramer: the trick is findin the right pasta for the pasta sculpture , for jerry i used fucilli

Jerry : why fucilli ?

Kramer : cause your silly

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

^ sounds like more pointless posting^

snonasty is my hero

 
hmmmmmm so many to think of...

elaine gets a drink and sips on it- o this is awful jerry- well u gotta shake it up

elaine- no im tired of shaking things up

jerry takes the drink and shakes it up very easily- o ya this is kilin me o gee im dying here

phone rings

jerry- hello

telemarketer- would u like a subscription to the new york times

jerry- yes(hangs up)

kramer- well is it a titleist (after george finds a golf ball down the blowhole of a whale)

me: what the hell is that?

sister:its a boat u dumbass

me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
 
neuman - jjuumbaliaaaa

elaine - he took it out....

kramer - im out there and im LOOVVVIN every minute of it!!!!

jerry - mm...mmmmm..mmister marbles?

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
kramer is covered in butter and tanning on the roof. gets Burnned and says to jerry...

'put a fork in my jerry, im done!'

___________________________

.:: P A T ::.

{2002-2003 MCM}

COC session E
 
hahah yea dude,

and were elaine and jerry are smoking the cigars on his couch and hes like

'it mmeellss like a rurrrer fire' elains like whats that?

'Its Smells like a rubber fire'

aahhhhhh

just a stupid seinfeld moment...

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
sooo many to think of, some are:

Kramer: What, vandela what, no you got the wrong number.

George: VANDELA INDUSTRY SAY VANDELA INDUSTRY

(George is lying in his underwear on the floor screaming that and jerry says:)

Jerry: And you wanted to be my latex salesman

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
'believe it or not, george isnt at home, please leave a message at the beep, and if i were home id anwser the phone, where could i be? Believe it or not I'm not home' - George's Anwsering Machine

Something along those lines, i dont remember it by heart

 
sorry dude...that was a soda bottle...i remember it distinctly.

and for the guy who did the answering machine...that used to be my answering machine message.

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
that dude going up to the priests car with his face painted red after a hockey game and yelling 'dont mess with the devils! were the devils baby! ya!'

you dont always have to fuck her hard. in fact some times thats not right, to do. some times you gotta make some luuuv and fuckin give her some smooches tooo. some times you got to sqeez. sometimes you got to say please. SOMETIME you gotta say HEY, 'im gonna fuck you, sweetly. im gonna screw you gently im gonna hump you, sweetly. im gonna ball you, DESCRETLY. and then you say hey i brought you flowers. and then you say well wait a minute sally. i think i got something in my teeth could you get it out for me? thats fuckin teamwork. whats your favorite posish? thats cool with me its not my favorite but i'll do if for you! whats your favorite dish? not gonna cook it but i'll order it from SANSABAR! and then i'm gonna luv you completley, and fuckin fuck u descretly. and then i'll fuckin bone you completly. but then im gonna fuuuuuuck yooooouuu haaaaaarrd! haaaard!

-tenacious d, fuck her gently
 
If pigman had a car he'd give you a ride

-Dan

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Two for one, five for four, half ounces, quater pounds, lb's and kilos. What are we looking for sin semilla.

We didn't just build a car. We started a religion.
 
elaine - you gonna have a nap?

putty - ...no.....

elaine - you want something to read?

putty - ....no...

elaine - your just gonna sit there and stare at the back of your seat?

putty - ....thats right...

elaine - THATS IT WERE BROKEN UP!

vegetable lasagna - pleease stop yelling

elaine - Shut up vegetable lasagna!!

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
telemarketer- hello sir, would your like to sign up for a subscription wiuth our newspaper?

jerey- umm.. im busy right now, can you give me your home phone number so i can call you back later?

telemarketer- im afraid i cant do that sir?

jerry- is that becuase you CANT do that, or is it because you dont want me bothering you at home?

telemarketer- i dont want you bothering me at home

jerry- well now you know how i feel.

---

jerry- your face looks like a catchers mit

kramer- look away.. im HIDEOUS! (after smoking cigars for 3 days)

Tip-2-Tip We Rule
 
elaine gets in a taxi right after having along plane ride with vegetable lausagna and right after breaking up with putty

driver- im sorry lady we need to double up in taxis (putty gets in)

vegetable lausagna gets in- Hello! o im sorry hes sais dejectidly

elaine- NOOOOOOOO!

me: what the hell is that?

sister:its a boat u dumbass

me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
 
hahaha yeeaaa

putty - jerry...... high 5...

baboo bot - your a very bad man jerry, verrrryy bad man

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
George: I have magic powers, jerry. I can sense even the slightest human suffering.

Jerry: are you sensing anything right now?

AND the best of ALL time:

George: Yeah, well the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you!

'Yeah, I'll get that cleaned up lickity-split. Speaking of lickity-split what do you say you and I meet up later, see what's going on? Just kidding. But seriously, I'm new in town, kinda lonely, looking for my parents..
 
I justr watched a good episode. It was the one where jerry dates the chick with the toy collection and they get her drunk and make her pass out and sleep and then it is also the owon where kramer buys the set to the that talk show and interviews everyone. IT is a classic

(trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)

 
hahahah muteman i saw it, it was sooo funny, good quotes too

elaine - ummm, there turning your teeth green?

sidler - i only buy the white ones

jerry - you know those ingridients are like 30 years old

toy chick when jerry is holding the gi joe - ummm what are you doing with that

jerry, acting like shes dumb says - im gonna put him in his frog suit and take him to the sink

hahahha wow....soo good

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
banya- whats the deal with ovaltine its not oval shouldnt they call it roundtine

me: what the hell is that?

sister:its a boat u dumbass

me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
 
Monya- I had a poney!

putty- gotta support the team..

'It's a write-off for them.'

'How is it a write-off?'

'They just write it off.'

'Write it off what?'

'Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.'

'You don't even know what a write-off is.'

'Do you?'

'No, I don't.'

'But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.'

'I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back.'

timeless.jpg'


U117.jpg'
my bgrothers got that one in his room.. the best in the world

heres a site with all seinfeld quotes http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/

Tip-2-Tip We Rule
 
Jerry- What do you mean my cars gone. I made a reservation.

Lady- Yes, but someone else took the car.

Jerry- But i made a reservation. That means i get the car. Thats the point of the reservation. ANYONE can make a reservation, (hey i'll take one, you take one, we'll all take on.) But what we have to do it HOLD the reservation.

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
i like to say,, 'HEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOO' in a jovial voice. HAHAHAHA he had to choose between the voice or that hot lady, he chose the voice

MaTcHoRy( *)(* )
 
shiit whats this about?

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
stupid americans and your stupid television. i hope you all die in your sleep.

(_(_)_)

i ate the cat, then slit his throat for seconds.
 
i watch 30 minutes of TV a day. Seinfeld. I agree..too much tv is very bad.

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
'GET OUT!'

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
any thing kramer say is hilarious..

The epidsode with The cock fights and jerrys check bouncing has tons of good quotes, I just can't remember one exactly...

IM out like a blind kid in laser tag--- --- I'm out like a midget in a high jump competition
 
hahaha

Jerry - george, george... this is a little much right now, iv got a cock fight to win

...........................................

Jerry - Little jerry ran to neumans and back in 30 seconds flat!

George - Is that good?

...................................

cockfight guy - litttlee yaaarrryyya seeeinfeld

Jerry - i dont know....

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
hahaha^^ great episode.

Guess what! Jerry Seinfeld is coming to my town to do a performance. I'm gonna see it...im so fucking excited!

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
'look away , im hidieous'

'I'm not a pimp!'

cramer

Carl

____________________

Accept no one's defitnition of your life: Define your self. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.

- Terrible One

 
Kramer:Yeah, I just entered little jerry in a cock fight.

Jerry:you what? kramer, cock fighting is illegal and it's imoral.

Kramer:What's the big deal?

Jerry:Do you even know what goes on in a cock fight?

Kramer:Yeah, they put little gloves on them, and they go a couple of rounds.

Jerry:No, it's just two roosters in a ring pecking each other.

Kramer:little jerry! (as he runs out of the apartment)

 
jerry with date - aahhh apple pie, they make some great apple pie here

jerry as he's eating - im not waiting for ya here

jerry - you gonna try some?

date - no

jerry - oh are you full?

date - nope

jerry - you dont like apple pie?

date - no i like apple pie

jerry - so try it!

date begins to unnervingly shake head like the pie is poison

hahahhahahah, guess you had to be there... really damn funny

Bent Films

www.canonskiboards.com
 
haha^ yeah that was great.

How bout the date that ate peas with the fork!

Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.

Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'

Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'

 
jerry-i'm not letting you store your blood in my freezer

kramer-oh c'mon!

jerry-are we done here?

kramer(with hilarious finger motion)-.....done.
 
"are you elaine, waiting for a (some name)"

"yes"

"well here (hands a note saying the guy is in the hospital)"

(stops and gets jujy fruit). ahahahha
 
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