The "Holy-Fuck-Alex-No-You're-Fucking-Eating-That-Shit." Also known as the "Fuck you, I'm hungry as fuck right now":
-Three slices of bread, somewhat toasted and buttered (By somewhat toasted I mean lightly browned, so the bread is warm but not super brown like holy-shit-where's-the-peanut butter brown)
-Anywhere between four and six slices of quality bacon. You'll definitely want an even number, but I'm not going back to change it to "four or six", so fuck you.
-2 Eggs. Fried over easily, traditionally done very hastily. Yokes should be runny.
-Cheese. Optional. I usually don't even bother.
Applied IN THIS ORDER:BREADCHEESEEGGHALF OF THE BACONBREAD CHEESEEGGREMAINING BACONBREAD
Or, if you're not in the mood for a violent myocardial infarction, the "Tomato Sandwich"
-Bread: White, but not crappy white. Something with some gravitas to it. You know, the good shit. Somewhat toasted, just like in the other thing.
-Tomatoes: The titular ingredient, and thus very important. You'll want to do this sandwich when tomatoes are in season, and you'll want to get some variety going. You'll also want balance, so put two slices of a sweeter variety with two of a more sour species.
-Mayonnaise: To be applied liberally and shortly after toasting, so as to allow for some meltage and the critical release of oil.
Open faced, with four slices of tomato (balanced as mentioned above) sitting atop some quality mayo.
These are the two sandwiches I make well.