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“pascal's
wager only works if there are two sets of beliefs. one religion's god
versus no god. but there are many religions and many options. the
wager is too simple and really doesn't make sense in light of
that. “
you started out alright
“I also don't
think we get to blame god for the awful things done in god's name. I
think we're just gonna walk all over each other for whatever reasons
are available. if we can say god wants us to take over more
territory, or to force native people off their land, it doesn't make
it true. assume for a moment that god exists. knowing that a person
cannot be good without free will (the option to do bad), then we know
that god must allow bad things to be done, which also means that bad
things must be able to affect good people. blow that up to a world
scale and unfortunately you get things like the crusades and the
holocaust. but without free will and the ability to do bad things,
"good" is a meaningless term. (by analogy, imagine i have a
girlfriend, but she only loves me because i slipped her some kind of
love potion that gives her no choice in the matter. does that really
mean anything to me? is that deeply fulfilling or meaningful in any
way? love and coercion can't coexist in my world) “
Religious
texts can be blamed for the crimes people commit. But you don't seem
to be into those.  I'm going to assume you believe your god created
the universe. If so, then he absolutely can be held responsible for
everything that happens as it would not be possible had he not
created everything. If you don't believe he was responsible for
creation then let me know what you think he has done and i'll do my
best to dismantle that too.
“so to get back to
religion, the fact that religion did some terrible things in god's
name does not refute god, it just demonstrates the fallibility of
human endeavors. it just goes to show you that if we're truly free,
we're able to do ghastly things in god's name, and he won't do
anything about it. he can't. if he did, we wouldn't actually be free,
and the whole thing would fall apart. again, that's assuming god's
existence, but hopefully that gives you some insight into why it's
stupid to blame god for religion's fuckups. a bunch of humans leading
humans can turn evil, even with the best intentions. we're fallible
beings. “
Aside from your god being responsible for
everything he created, i'll agree with you that terrible things done
in his name don't refute his existence. Nobody claims that. What they
do claim is that religious belief can be held responsible for those
peoples' actions. I also agree that we would not be free if evil acts
could not be committed. However, it's impossible to deny that
religious belief doesn't make one more prone to irrational behavior.
Does evil have to exist for free will to also exist? Yes. Need it be
promoted by religion? Hell fucking no. You need to realize that if
you claim your god is responsible for bringing everything into
existence, he is responsible for it. If you believe he directly
inspired religion by taking a hands-on approach (prophets, Jesus,
etc.) then he only had more blood on his hands.
“also, i
don't know what you mean by "groundless". If you want to
say "not grounded in sensory experience," then yeah, you're
right. but that's a little too basic for me. the way i see it, we
live in a world where there is evidence all around us of things
outside our five senses. Radio waves, magnetism, etc., which is
enough to demonstrate to me that I can't trust my senses alone. We
know this is true because of the use of measuring devices that
respond to forces we can't see. While we don't have any instruments
that measure anything spiritual yet, I see the facts I just mentioned
as enough to at least do away with the argument that everything
"real" in this world is immediately apparent to the
senses. “
The stupidity in this is astounding. Some
amateur, wanna-be philosopher “if I close my eyes, the world does
not exist” bullshit. This is a complete non-argument. “I don't
see it, therefore it could be there”, giving your god as much
credibility as a sparkly pink unicorn (which would actually be more
likely than an omnipotent, omniscient being).
“I studied
philosophy for four years. for a while, I was obsessed with proving
that God didn't exist, that the world was strictly material. I read
anything I could get my hands on, and I believed, and would get
pretty offensive on this point, that nothing that could not be
directly observed with the senses or logically proven wasn't worth
talking about. I thought that reason was the only tool I needed. I
blamed religion for the suffering in the world without taking into
account the comfort many people found in the community and in their
spiritual beliefs. i blasted people for their own religious
convictions, thinking blind faith was stupid. i still think blind
faith is stupid, but i don't think nearly as much faith is as blind
as i once did. “
Already explained the current
philosophy regarding the existence of a god. See my other posts to
learn more about the evils of religion. Faith is always blind. If
there was evidence it wouldn't be faith. 
“i ended up at the
conclusion that I don't know everything, that I can't use reason to
justify every one of my beliefs. some of them, simple as they may be,
are based outside of reason. love, for example. i can't measure it, i
can't rationally explain why i love certain people in my life, but
i'm as convinced of that as i am of the solidity of the desk i'm
writing this on. i realized i already held some non-rational beliefs,
and for me they made life worth living. if our greater purpose is
really just to eat, shit, fuck, and die, i'd rather not be a human
being at all. that's all reason could really get me to and I wasn't
happy with it. the fact that i even wanted more was a sign that i
couldn't stop at reason. i needed more. “
I didn't
think i'd need to explain how emotions work to someone out of middle
school. Love and all other emotions are products of chemical and
electrical processes in the brain brought on by certain stimuli. I
could explain why you love certain people if you want to tell me your
history with them. It's often not hard at all if you have a basic
understanding of psychology. I'm glad you feel it's as real as your
desk. It is and it's just as measurable. If you already held
irrational beliefs it's not surprising you welcomed one more. Do
humans have some cosmic purpose? No. Our purpose was determined by
our evolution. While it can vary from person to person in specifics,
the purpose of human lives is to achieve happiness. 
“ I
had a series of life experiences that prompted me to start asking
harder questions of my own spiritual convictions, about how sure i
was that there was no god in the traditional sense, and i started to
come to believe that something bigger than me was out there, above
and beyond my everyday experience. i wasn't sure it was a thinking
thing at all, perhaps just a force of some kind, but i began to see
that there's something beyond experience that connects all of us.
gradually i started to talk to it. not because i thought it would
listen, that it would do any good at all, but simply because i wanted
to acknowledge its existence. so i began to say "thank you"
every night before bed, irrational as it sounds. gradually that
changed to "thank you, i want to get to know you better"
and ultimately to "thank you, i want to see the world from your
point of view". This might not make a ton of sense, but the main
idea i want to get across is that i didn't jump on the "god is a
big bearded man in the sky judging all we do" bandwagon right
away, i just acknowledged that there's more to the world and our
connections than meets the eye. i took great comfort in that fact. i
didn't suddenly think that there was an unseen man who wanted me to
kill in his name, i just saw that if we're all connected, the deeper
the connection runs, the better i should treat the people around me
and the world i live in. the more thought i gave to that idea, the
happier i was, and the easier it was to do hard things like forgive
people who had harmed me, and ask forgiveness from people i had
harmed. “
It's not uncommon for emotional trauma to
lead to that kind of thought.  The sense of there being “something”
out there is another well-known psychological effect that can be attributed
to evolutionary adaptations. We ARE all connected. We inhabit the
same universe in the same reality. No supernatural forces needed.
That's great that you started trying to treat people better and
forgive those who had wronged you. I try to live like that every day
and I don't attribute it to a god. 
“my belief in god came
out of experimentation. i tried a life rooted in absolutely nothing
but myself, and it sucked. i did some really shitty things and wasn't
"living" in the conventional sense for a long time. It
wasn't out of fear of death that i came to that conclusion, it was
out of fear of myself, of living in a shitty, selfish pit until my
blood stopped pumping and this endless chain of thoughts stopped
rattling away in my brain. i thought there was a better way to live,
to see the world, and to treat the people in it, and i was determined
to find it. i believed that there was something more to this world
and the lives we lead, and i used things like prayer and meditation
to seek (and find) answers to my deeper questions. if you want to do
that without using the g word, you can. i think you'll end up there
anyway, if you're really open and honest about the endeavor though.
that's pretty much how it happened to me.”
Life without a
god is not an empty life. You were an empty person. The world
however, is not empty. Honestly, it sounds like you were just a
shitty person living an unfulfilling life. But instead of accepting
that the fault was yours, you decided to offload that guilt onto a
delusion so that you could make the changes you needed to make
without taking any blame.  I'm sorry it took  backwards somersaults
through logic to help you get over yourself, but I really am happy
you were able to change. Now if only you could combine your new
morals with your old rationality.