Relationship advice from total strangers on the internet

JakeBarrett

JakeBarrett

Active member
I need help with some advice.

my girl and I have been together for a little over two years. Lately, things haven’t really felt the same. Disinterested, hardly talking to each other, see each other very rarely, etc. I was going to end things, until she told me that her mom is passing due to cancer soon. I’m really unhappy, but I care about her a lot and I feel like if I ended things in these circumstances, idk what she would do. Is this something I just need to wait out? Or is it a better idea to just rip the bandaid completely?

I know, this website ain’t the greatest place for these types of threads, but I’ve asked for lots of advice from friends/family and have had no help. I figured you guys could give an unbiased view on things.
 
Have you sat and down and brought up the differences you two and have been facing recently? Address the issues, see what both parties need to change/work on to make things work? Maybe set a day out of the week for date night to try and rekindle some lost feelings? Do something that excites both of you that you may not have done in awhile?

idk I’m partial in these types of situations, part of me says to push on and try and work out differences, other part of me says that the fact you made this thread means it’s already done.

if it was me, I would go with the options I listed above considering the circumstances. Losing a significant other and a parent in the same time frame is two worlds completely crashing at the same time which is really fuckin heavy, I don’t know what I would do if I was in that situation.
 
14091682:Chubz. said:
Have you sat and down and brought up the differences you two and have been facing recently? Address the issues, see what both parties need to change/work on to make things work? Maybe set a day out of the week for date night to try and rekindle some lost feelings? Do something that excites both of you that you may not have done in awhile?

idk I’m partial in these types of situations, part of me says to push on and try and work out differences, other part of me says that the fact you made this thread means it’s already done.

if it was me, I would go with the options I listed above considering the circumstances. Losing a significant other and a parent in the same time frame is two worlds completely crashing at the same time which is really fuckin heavy, I don’t know what I would do if I was in that situation.
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We’ve definitely talked through a lot of things and had our arguments, and honestly it is over in my eyes, my dilemma is that I don’t want to absolutely crush her due to the outside circumstances with her family. I guess I’m just reaching for unbiased views on this type of shit.

lots of times people tell me “you guys have just been together for awhile and need to start trying harder again”, and while I do agree with that, it’s something that has been done and hasn’t really helped.
 
Non skigabber relationship threads are the shittiest trend of the decade.

This kind of shit better not follow us into the 2020s
 
14091685:JakeBarrett said:
We’ve definitely talked through a lot of things and had our arguments, and honestly it is over in my eyes, my dilemma is that I don’t want to absolutely crush her due to the outside circumstances with her family. I guess I’m just reaching for unbiased views on this type of shit.

lots of times people tell me “you guys have just been together for awhile and need to start trying harder again”, and while I do agree with that, it’s something that has been done and hasn’t really helped.
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There's something to be said about space and taking time apart, but in this scenario I think it's important to remember that how you feel matters too. If you're unhappy, that's unfair for you, and you should take action to end it when the time is right. Her mom passing may not be a great time, and I don't know her or her dynamic, so unless your relationship is a piece of stability in her life, it may be better for both of you to end it now. But again, I don't know your guys' dynamic, this is just an idea
 
14091704:Hangry said:
There's something to be said about space and taking time apart, but in this scenario I think it's important to remember that how you feel matters too. If you're unhappy, that's unfair for you, and you should take action to end it when the time is right. Her mom passing may not be a great time, and I don't know her or her dynamic, so unless your relationship is a piece of stability in her life, it may be better for both of you to end it now. But again, I don't know your guys' dynamic, this is just an idea
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This is really good advice
 
Dating is a gamble sometimes it’s good sometimes it will drive you crazy. Go skiing instead. That’s my advice
 
14091685:JakeBarrett said:
We’ve definitely talked through a lot of things and had our arguments, and honestly it is over in my eyes, my dilemma is that I don’t want to absolutely crush her due to the outside circumstances with her family. I guess I’m just reaching for unbiased views on this type of shit.

lots of times people tell me “you guys have just been together for awhile and need to start trying harder again”, and while I do agree with that, it’s something that has been done and hasn’t really helped.
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Tbh just end it man. There's always gonna be another dilemma. This is gonna sound very raw but it's the truth. Her mom could die today. She could die 3 months from now. She could die a year from now. You don't know. Then you gotta deal with the aftermath of sadness that could last months to years. Then you'll be saying the same thing that you don't want to leave her because she's devastated from her mom dying. There's not gonna be a good time to leave this girl anytime soon. I obviously know nothing of your relationship. Some folks can work things out and rekindle relationships. Other situations, you're just prolonging the inevitable and wasting months or years in a failing relationship just clinging to anything that will keep it going. In reality this is a very shitty time to leave her, but it sounds like that could be a very shitty time for a while. You're unhappy and need to look out for numero uno. Just my two cents.
 
14091685:JakeBarrett said:
We’ve definitely talked through a lot of things and had our arguments, and honestly it is over in my eyes, my dilemma is that I don’t want to absolutely crush her due to the outside circumstances with her family. I guess I’m just reaching for unbiased views on this type of shit.

lots of times people tell me “you guys have just been together for awhile and need to start trying harder again”, and while I do agree with that, it’s something that has been done and hasn’t really helped.
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Also anyone who says the latter paragraph to you can fuck off. Two years is nothing. If you're having to try this hard that early, it's gonna be a long hard road
 
You've made your mind. Bouncing out will be best for you and her in the long run. Life's too short to stay in an unhappy relationship.

Easier said than done, I know.
 
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