Quick but very important question

Tirst thing you have to do is, get a hammer and bash out ever tooth in the body's mouth and break the jaw. Flush them down the toilet or something. Dental records are one of the main things used to identify it. Then burn the body. Preferably in a very descrete wooded location at night. It'll never be identified.

And when you put it in your trunk.. for the love of god make sure you double bag it. If you get a drop of blood anywhere it will be found.

 
You should rent a couple DVDs of CSI and that should teach you how to get around everything. I mean, you should really think about these things before you hypothetically kill three people (your girlfriend, should you have one, and her two male lovers, if she was cheating on you) and leave them in your living room, staining your carpets, furniture, and clothes with blood plus your DNA is all over them.

Hypothetically speaking, you're screwed.

 
hahah fucking hilarious thread...

but since it's serious, I'd say that hypothetically you should make a double wall and put the bodies between the walls, then hypothetically a cat gets in there too and starts making sounds when the cops are there....

 
well hypothetically it's been a few days and nothing so far and i did a really good job cleaning up yesterday...hypothetically of course
 
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

SNATCH!
 
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